Jokes

[Joker Card]

a blonde, brunette and red head are on a island. the brunette swims 1/4 of the way to the city and drowns. the readhead swims half way to the city and drowns. the blonde swims all the way to the city. she gets tired from all the swiming to the city, so she swims back to the island.

[Ad Bot]

[Rughugger]

A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment.
Suddenly, the man realized that the next day he would need his wife to wake him at 5 a.m. for an early morning business flight.
Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5 a.m." He left it where he knew she would find it.
The next morning the man woke up, only to discover it was 9 a.m. and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't waked him when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper read, "It is 5 a.m. Wake up."
Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.

[Sarky56]

Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was
really pissed.

She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the
driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!"

The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke
up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box
gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.

Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought
the box back in the house.

She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.

Bob has been missing since Friday.

Dont get it.

[Jsk2003]

The guy ran away after he basically told his wife that she was fat.

[Oasis]

So this young couple that lived in Michigan decided to get a change of climate, so they decided to go to Mexico. The next day after all the planning and stuff was finished they were ready to go, bags and all. Then suddenly the wife gets a phone call from work telling her that she will need to work for 2 more days. The couple not wanting to cancel the trip decide he will go and she will stay for work and leave on a seperate plane flight 2 days later.

So as the man settles in, he decides to send his wife an email. He sends it but then notices he made a mistake on the email address of his wife, so he sends another one to the her right email address.

An old woman in Maine is suffering from the loss of her beloved husband. Then out of the blue, she gets an email from a unknown person. She opens it, screams, and faints. This is what the email said:

I arrived there! It's pretty hot down here. Your set to arrive soon, and hope to see you then. Bye.

[Jsk2003]

Funny, but then the old lady looks at the email address and realizes that it's not from him and gets back to life.

[Hugums]

Womens rights.

[nickbond1]

i got two


why do the doctors boil water when a baby is being born?

becuse if the babys dead they can have baby soup.

whats a hair between your moms boobs?

her vagina

[Explosivo]

why do the doctors boil water when a baby is being born?

becuse if the babys dead they can have baby soup.

That Joke is not even funny.

[KRS1]

Womens rights.

AMEN!

[KRS1]

Put it in me...

[Niliscro]

Your face

[nickbond1]

That Joke is not even funny.

its a turley tasteless joke

[Rughugger]

Well don't look behind you...

[Travis [bob36455]]

Ya know if someone asks you if your tickelish it dosen't matter if you say yes or no. There still going to touch you anyways.   So say something like, I have dirreiea and if you touch me its gona come out.  And yes I'm very tickelish.

Notic how theres A-C battrys.
No B battrys or else it would be a studder.

Demetry:Yes I wold like B Battrys
Worker: Sure what kind?
Demetry: B battrys
Worker: Right what kind
demetry: B BATTRYS DAMN IT I SAID IT 3 TIMES!!!!