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Author Topic: OMG I wrote a story :D  (Read 4517 times)

Okay so, I was bored and I decided to write a story. :P

Let's have some background:
This guy is fascinated with machinery and, while exploring 'The Junkyard' (a place where remnants of the previous human civilization remains abundant) he finds three disks that are thick and hefty. When he returns, he tells his teacher and mentor, some scientist guy I haven't thought of a name for yet, tells him that the disks are fabled and he would like our hero to go back and retrieve them. And that's where our story starts.

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It was a typical, boiling hot day in the wasteland. You can't remember the last time it rained. You always wondered how the lake was always filled, even though the sky was always sunny. It didn't matter. As long as you have food to eat and water to drink, it didn't matter if the sun was always beating on your neck. But, no matter what you think about, it all boils down to one thing: machinery. Yes, that is your passion, finding scraps of metal and odd machines that make the quirky sounds you love to hear. As long as you can remember, you loved to be around machines.

 Today, you're out looking for some discs that the professor at the colony said were vital to his research, so, being the good citizen, or, more specifically, the teacher's pet you are, you went out to search again. Before you left, you almost forgot your one line of defense: your crossbow, the one you made yourself. Your parents were none-too-happy when you came downstairs saying "Hey mom, dad, check this out!" and pinned your sister's teddy bear to the wall with one of your superheated bolts. That was another thing you invented. The superheated bolt. It was extremely powerful. Now, as you wander through the junkyard, you stay on the look out for rouge machinery.

 After the humans destroyed themselves with the very things that were meant to help them, your species sprang up, after years of evolution. At least, that's what the textbooks say. Although, there are still many ruins left from the humans that are still unburied by dirt, and, if evolution is true, they should be gone by now. You want to continue thinking about this matter, but you hear a loud sound in the distance, the sound of metal screeching together. You get down in a trench that was dug by some previous occupant. As you look over the edge, you see a gigantic, circular machine with six arms sticking out; four to support it, and two being used as hands. It also had a giant, red eye in the center of it's body and appeared to be scanning the yard with it. Your heart starts beating quickly when the red beams cross over you, but luckily, the robot lumbers away.

 When you feel it's safe to come out, you continue on your merry way. And finally, you come across the large, heaping pile of metal where the strange disks were. You use the spiked ends of your crossbow, added by you, you're proud to think, and scale the wall. When you reach the top, you use your rope to shimmy down through the crevice into the spherical cavern. It's filled with wires and the skeletons of animals that got in but couldn't get out. At last, you find the prize: the black, gold-trimmed disks that apparently do something when operated. When you pick them up, you notice that they aren't like regular disks, they are very hick, like a hunk of steel shaped into a circular form. As you pick up the first two and put them in your backpack, you notice the third is firmly stuck. Remembering the promise of three objects, you pull as hard as you can. When it finally comes out, you hear the sound of gears shifting and creaking, as if they have gone unoperated for many long years. You whip out your crossbow and get on guard and race to the rope. When you start to climb it, you notice something and your heart beats tenfold: The crack in the metal was repairing itself.

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Shocked, you immediately ignored the painful load on your back and scrambled up the rope. Barely making it out, you stand up and look around frantically. Nothing seemed to be happening, until the object beneath you started shifting. You fall on your bottom and jump off into a pile of trash, breaking your fall. When you look up, what was previously a pile of metal was now moving around, emptying it's joints and sockets of sand. It, apparently, was grabbing nearby steel and patching the crack in it's body. It looked exactly like the other strange octopus-like machines, except for it's size that dwarfed the others, eight arms instead of six and a blue eye instead of a red one. As it inspects it's claws and twists them to remove the dirt, you hear a voice call out to you: "Hey, what are you doing? Get over here!" and you are pulled behind a reflective object.

 "What have you done?" the man says. You reply, "I-- I didn't-- I was just getting these disk things that the professor wanted!" "THE professor? Don't tell me you think you're the only colony out there?" "W-wait-- Theres more of us?" This had never occur ed to you before. Although, now it seems logical, the thought had never crossed your mind in the slightest. "Well... I... Yeah. I never realised there were more... Uh.." "Colonies?" "Yeah. Colonies." "Well..." He replies. "This is no place to talk, we need to get out of here, and fast. I am a Doctor, people call me Tails though. Doctor Tails." "Well then, uh, Tails, how do we get out of here? Oh, yeah, and my name is Tab." "Okay Tab, here's what we're gonna do..." For a few minutes, Tails makes a plan. It sounds good, so you follow him. Apparently, if you stay under the robot, they cannot see you. You and Tails get under the robot and stand and wait. When it starts to move, the two of you scramble from pile to pile, avoiding it's gaze.

 When you finally reach the entrance of the junkyard, you thank Tails and start to move on. "Wait." Tails says. "You cannot leave just yet. That thing is their leader. Those robots don't just get built really big for no reason. Their leader has been lost for quite some time-- And this thing looks just like how it was described: Gigantic, blue eyes, two extra limbs... What did you do when you were inside of it?" "I took some plates out of the gear--" "wait, you said plates? Let me see those. I remember you said it earlier, but I didn't realise... Could it be...?" "Okay, here" "Hmm... No... Not the ones... Take them back." He seems disappointed. You then hear some rumbling sounds, and when they stop, you look up to only be greeted by a metallic face with what seemed to be a crossbow strapped to it's head. You and Tails scream and scramble away. Then, the robot launches a bolt out of the colossal crossbow on it's head-- considerably small bolts form a bow that size-- and your leg is impaled and is stuck to the ground. Suddenly, your vision gets blurry from the pain and you feel your crossbow get snatched from your belt, and then Tails fires a superheated bolt straight into the chest of the robot. It screeches and darts away, and you faint from pain.

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When you wake up, you're in a bed and your foot is heavily bandaged. When you try to move, pain fills your body, so you just lie there. When you attempt to recall what happened the last time you were awake, it made your head hurt even more. It seemed there was nothing to do but sleep and stare at the ceiling until, finally, the door to the room opens and a plump old woman with rosy cheeks comes in.

 "Ugh, it just makes me sick... Poor thing... Been tuckered out for a week. That quack does know a single damn thing about treating a wound like this! He's lucky his leg hasn't swelled to the size of a watermelon yet... We can't trust him. the last one that came through here... What a shady character he was! A knight? Bah, the last time I saw one of those clowns was in preschool!" she muttered. Apparently, you looked like you were sleeping. Then, you realize, this isn't your colony. And, you've been out cold for a week? What would your parents say when you got home? You dreaded the idea. Just then, Tails came bursting in the room.

"Myra! I told you NOT to touch him! I know exactly what to do, and I don't need any help!" "Ohhh... Wh-where am I...?" you shudder with pain as the words snake out of your mouth. "Aha, kid, you're alive! You had your leg pinned into the ground! You should've seen the hole it put in you--" The lady named Myra gave him a look that shut him up instantly. "Well, you're fine now. We're gonna have to stay here until you're better." As Tails finished his sentence, a question crosses your mind. "We? I mean, I'm grateful for your help but..." "Hmm, well, no offense, but in a condition like that, you're not gonna make it back to your colony in one piece." "Oh well... I guess you're right. So how long should this take to heal? " Myra found it was her time to shed some light on the subject as Tails stuttered. She smiled and said "Well, if Tail's recipe worked, it should only be two more days. But I honestly don't know what oats, water, and that-- that--" "Ectoplasm?" "Yes-- if that's even what it is-- Is going to help!" "Myra, please, it is Ectoplasm, at least that's what I called it, and it has worked before. We just need to let him get some rest." "Very well..." And you fall asleep. The next was no better. You could hear Tails and Myra bickering all the way upstairs in your secluded room. When you finally  fall asleep again, you are awoken by the sound of wood being broken, people screaming, and gunshots.

 You struggle to get up, and limp to your window. One of the red-eyed robots was destroying houses, apparently looking for something. And there was nothing he wouldn't destroy, and nobody he wouldn't kill. When you saw him come shambling toward your house, you scream and look around. You pick up the pistol on the floor and huddle on the bed. when the robot ripped the roof off the house, you see it spot you. You empty a clip into it as it reaches to impale you with a steel stake that was sticking out of it's hand when, suddenly it stops. It stares at you for a moment and looks at your bag. It reaches for the bag instead. The robot picks up the bag with delicate hands and probes it. It then  flees the scene, with the bag containing the discs.

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As you scramble down the stairs to see what happened on the street, you run into Tails. "Oh, good, you're OK. Or are you? Did that thing do something to you?" "No, it just took my bag. All that were in there were those discs and some food. Although my professor will be disapointed I didn't get those disks, I'm sure he'll be glad to know I'm safe." Then, Myra came up and joined the conversation. "Oh, child, are you alright? That thing is gone now, I--" "Excuse me gentlemen, and m'lady." You, Tails and Myra turn around to face a stranger in what seemed to be an armored jacket. Myra gave him a foul look. "I do believe you said something about... Disks of some sort?" The stranger said, completely ignoring Myra.

 "Uh, yeah, I... Well, why do you need to know?" "It's just, I may be searching for the exact same thing you are. You see, I may be able to help. I--" "He does not need any help! Whatever you're talking about means nothing to any of us, now, away with you!" Myra snapped. The stranger glared at her with the coldest look you've ever seen. "Very well. My name is Frisco. And, I'm just going to assume you're not someone I'm looking for." He then walked away. Tails said "OK, kid, go to the second floor bedroom, sadly, we've had some casualties out here, and I'd rather not expose them to you..." You look around to see people moaning in pain. You shudder and head into the building. That night, you're tossing and turning. When you wake up, you lie there for what seems like hours. You then decide that what Myra thinks, doesn't matter, and you sneak out of bead and onto the street. It was already cleared, you realize. As you look around, someone behind you says, "Well well, what have we here? Oh, it's you, kid. So, what brings you out at this hour?"

 "I'm here to tell you what I found." "Hehehe, excellent. Well then, you DID find some disks, then? How many?" "3. They were also black with gold trimmings. Thick, too." "Oh my. My, my, my, my,my... Isn't this excellent. If you will, could you just...?" And the man held out a contraption that you've never seen before, but it had a small indentation for a hand. "What... What's that?" "Oh, my dear boy, it's nothing, just a way to... Make sure I don't forget what you've told me. I am an aged man, something you cannot see in my regular clothing. No go ahead, boy, put your palm on it." "You hesitate, and reach for the object. The man's eyes widened more and more as your hand got closer to his talisman. When you were nearly an inc away, a voice peirced the darkness. "Hey-- You-- Stop that!" The stranger's eyes returned to their normal size as he spun around. "Damn. Why hello there, my dear knight. I was only--" "Be quiet. I know who you are, and I'm here to stop you." "Oh, really now, do we REALLY have to go through this again? I mean honestly..." The man swivled around and said. "I'll be back... Sooner or later." He then spun around, held up his hands, thrust them forward and knocked the other man over. He sprinted into the darkness. You rush to help the fallen man.

 "Are you okay?" You ask. "Oh, kid, I'm alright, a little Psy never damages the average man. But, I'm the one that should be asking you that question! Do you know who that was?" "No. Who are you, though, before we continue?" You don't want to have another conversation with an unnamed person after that event. "I, am one the last remaining Knights. I, am Sir Kree." "Knights? Of what?" "We have no specific name, other than 'Knight', but we're fighting the Tentacles." "The Tentacles? who are they?" You are intrigued by this. "They are the giant robots with six legs. Although recently, a much larger, eight-legged one has been spotted." "Oh... It's nice to have a name for them, I guess. Hey, do you know--" "Kid! Why are you out there?" And you cringe as you hear Tail's voice calling after you. "I was... I was just..." And as Tails spotted Kree, his gaze turned cold.

Tell me what you think, and feel free to criticize it, I don't want any "it's good, but..." because I'll just call it bullstuff. Let me remind you that this is one of the first stories that I have written and thought acceptable to share. Thanks!
« Last Edit: August 30, 2009, 09:10:51 PM by Draco S. »

You made an epic page stretch.
D=<
Use quotes instead, either that,
or you can not use anything, and do bold text.
Damn man, you make me sad.

OH MY VAGINA'S BANANA PLEASE MAKE THAT A QUOTE AND NOT CODE

It didn't page strech me :(

Edited for quotes
« Last Edit: August 28, 2009, 09:55:24 PM by Draco S. »




It didn't page strech me :(

Edited for quotes
It'll pagestretch people on FireFox.

It'll pagestretch people on FireFox.
I'm switching to Opera on Tuesday.
I inform you because you care.

It'll pagestretch people on FireFox.

Oh ok

I don't have firefox. I use IE. Don't yell at me. Also I would like some critCIAm :(


I like it. Builds a setting well and has a sort of mysterious subplot...

I like it. Builds a setting well and has a sort of mysterious subplot...

Oh cool :)

My teachers say I have ability, I wasn't sure if they were just being nice or not, and thanks for feedback, the thread has been filled with derailments for the first few posts :(