Hat [Story]

[Spockticus]

You really like it? I just thought of it in the car on the way home from seeing 9 and wrote it down because I like to.

[Ad Bot]

[WhatevaGuy]

You really like it? I just thought of it in the car on the way home from seeing 9 and wrote it down because I like to.

How could we not?
Its... its awesome! Pure, tangible awesome.

[Spockticus]

:O

i am so talented ! !!

[Spockticus]

Why was this moved and Regulith's story not?

It really sucks that it's here, because it managed to get into page 3 in a day. That'd never happen in Creativity :I

[chaseyqurt]

I don't see why everyone is praising it like it's the best thing ever, sure, it's interesting but, it's not that good.

It's also odd how you jump from one thing to another right here -

He always had a hat, it was who he was. He handed me his envelope;


It's lacking depth imo.

[WhatevaGuy]

It's lacking depth imo.

What's IMO?
Just wondering.

[chaseyqurt]

In my opinion.

[Spockticus]

I don't see how that's jumping from one thing to the other; I was describing the man himself, then said what he was doing.


But It isn't supposed to be in depth, it's a poem-like thing. It's more to make you go "Wat" yet still retain sense. Very interesting, yes. Best thing ever? Doubt it.

[WhatevaGuy]

In my opinion.

Aha, that makes sense. I feel that was useless though, I coulda just looked.

I don't see how that's jumping from one thing to the other; I was describing the man himself, then said what he was doing.


But It isn't supposed to be in depth, it's a poem-like thing. It's more to make you go "Wat" yet still retain sense. Very interesting, yes. Best thing ever? Doubt it.

Hence.

[Spockticus]

Ok, I added a bit of "prologue" to it so people understand the story a bit more.
I also indented :D

What do you think on it now, Chaseyqurt?

[chaseyqurt]

The prologue doesn't really make much sense and just makes the "jumping to different things" thing worse, it also feels tacked on, like, the rest of the story is interesting but, you read the first part and it lacks the same feeling.

[Spockticus]

Meh, I'm removing it for not fitting in the same mood and I like it being mysterious.

[WhatevaGuy]

Meh, I'm removing it for not fitting in the same mood and I like it being mysterious.

Yeah, I like the style. I like how you are left to fill in the blanks rather than having everything given to you.

[ultimamax]

Can I steal this for writing class? :D

[WhatevaGuy]

Can I steal this for writing class? :D

What's your teacher's e-mail and your first name?
Cuz ima kidnapper Cuz I'll report you.

Note: I feel I strike things too much. Do I?