Short Prologue - Extended

[Caution]

I like your avatar.

 

[Ad Bot]

[Caution]

Bump for extension.

[WhatevaGuy]

Absolutely delicious. A few things to work out.

"The last thing to run through his mind was, Why did I run?"
Of course, I'm paraphrasing, but that implies he died. I think you should say "that night" or something.

[Caution]

Yeah, that would sound better.

[WhatevaGuy]

Yeah, that would sound better.

Sorry for bein' picky, but I also noticed you have an extra [/b] in there.

[Caution]

Yeah, tags got forgeted up. :P

[Ryuu]

I like your avatar.

[ultimamax]

I like the new part. Keep working pls. :3

[Caution]

I like your avatar.

Thanks. :P

I like the new part. Keep working pls. :3

Mkay. :D