You see sir here's the thing, observe exhibit A for a moment.
Figure A
As you can see, this is a human spine. The problem with your back is that your lower vertabral tissues are being pulled by a big magic hand, this hand appears to stop you having fun, it apears in the abdomenal column (see Exhibit B) it brushes up to your vertebral disc and organ area, then it pulls really hard and nearly cracks your spine!
I hope it does crack some day..Figure B
This is normally the result of too much dancing and may need immediate attention, seek help from a local doctor.
Figure C
If unable too see a doctor currently, you may want to try some spinal relaxation courses (See Figure D) This involves injecting your some sperm into your spine, to get sperm, masturbate or buy it off of ebay.
Figure D
Finally, if this did not help, try using these:
Figure E
It is best to take about one every 8 minutes, or if in Extreme pain and agony, gulp it all down in one.
Thank you for your.. convienience
Dr. J.Puddle
