Poll

Who's version is better?

Original
2 (50%)
Grandma's
2 (50%)

Total Members Voted: 4

Author Topic: Starting a novel. PROGRESS: Page 9 - New Poll  (Read 8656 times)

  Be sure to use vivid word choices.

Example: "The creature enlarged in size until it seemed as if it could destroy an entire planet." Is better than "It grew ulntil it looked like it could take down a whole planet."

Not very good sentences, but you get the point.

Yeah, I personally believe and have been complimented often on my wide vocabulary. :3

  Cool. I'm currently working on a novel about a Marine sniper in World War II. It's going pretty well. If anyone wants me to post it I might.

I want to see it. :o

Ok. I'll have to type it out though because I currently only have it on paper.

Don't worry. You'll see it. should I post it in this topic or make a topic for it?


EDIT: I'll post it here.
« Last Edit: July 02, 2010, 03:20:27 PM by Lil D »

(Sorry, I haven't came up with a name yet, so far i call it "My epic WWII book" :O)


Chapter 1

  Cpl. Joe Anderson peered through the scope of his powerful Springfield M1903 rifle. He panned the area with his weapon. The air was still. All was quiet. Just as he thought he was safe, a pang of fear stabbed through his heart. His heart rate increased. His adrenaline began to pump. The noise he was hearing was one all Marines had come to fear. Mortars. Before he could scream out a warning, he heard the loud explosion of a mortar approximately twenty feet away from him, followed by a loud cry of pain. He new what was happening. He whipped around, seeing men scatter, running to and fro, with a background of close houses. He was in the town of St. Mere Eglise, in France. He sprinted for the closest building, leaped through the shattered window, and took cover inside. He brought his rifle to bear, laying it on the window sill of the building that was sheltering him. Anderson looked as far down the road as he could see, spotting a German mortar crew, using portable mortar launchers. There were two men at the launcher, but the Corporal soon decided that was two too many, and that the number would be quickly reduced to one. He steadied his aim, and squeezed the trigger. Less than a second later he saw the national socialist he had been aiming for fall back with a small burst of his own blood spewing from his neck. The second German soldier was so startled by the sudden death of his companion he fell back, rose to his feet, and began to sprint away cowardly. “No, I don’t think so pal”, Anderson muttered in reference to the cowardly enemy soldier. He pressed his finger hard on the trigger, followed by the loud crack the weapon made when fired. He then saw the soldier stumble to his knees, caused by the pain the bullet caused as it sliced through his back and exited through his heart. He barely had enough time to scream, be fore finally falling over in a heap, killed by the bullet piercing his most vital muscle in his body, the heart. Soon a large pool of blood began to form, coming from the hole through him. With one mortar crew down, Anderson could finally hear the sounds of battle, which had been blocked from his ears as he had concentrated on his targets the best he could. He looked around at the carnage even though he was supposed to be locating the other mortar crews and relieving them from their duties.
  “Corporal, what the hell are you doing? Focus on your objective, damnit! Move it, go!” Captain William Jones yelled. He soon realized what he was supposed to be doing and got to it immediately.


That’s how far I’ve got. Rate on scale of 1/10 please.
« Last Edit: July 02, 2010, 06:43:37 PM by Lil D »

I have a novel. It's called "Faster than the speed of love."

I have a novel. It's called "Faster than the speed of love."

HHHHAA! That's the worst title I've ever heard!

EDIT; Lil D, I'll read it tonight, not on for long now. :p

Please add my character. :(

Not bad, Lil, but there are a few spelling and grammar mistakes in it. Just a draft, though, so it isn't much of a concern yet. And, just a few tips, be sure to develop your characters dynamically throughout the book, use vivid description, and really allow the reader to become part of the book. Also, try to do some studies about WWII and life in the war, reasoning behind events, locations, etc. if it is Historical Fiction. (And if you haven't already. :P) You could even play upon some of the conspiracies, or allude to them. Anyway, so far so good. I can't say anything definitive about how it will turn out, but at this rate, it should turn out very well. c:

Not bad, Lil, but there are a few spelling and grammar mistakes in it. Just a draft, though, so it isn't much of a concern yet. And, just a few tips, be sure to develop your characters dynamically throughout the book, use vivid description, and really allow the reader to become part of the book. Also, try to do some studies about WWII and life in the war, reasoning behind events, locations, etc. if it is Historical Fiction. (And if you haven't already. :P) You could even play upon some of the conspiracies, or allude to them. Anyway, so far so good. I can't say anything definitive about how it will turn out, but at this rate, it should turn out very well. c:
Thanks. I have been complimented on my writing, and I'm glad you like it along with the others that find it interesting. Btw, I have done LOTS of research on WWII, watched lots of documentaries, learned about the weapons used, the lot.



I can't say when it will be finished, but I hope it turns out good.

I can't see this topic in the list :o

That's pretty good, Lil. I didn't read it all though.

Thanks. I have been complimented on my writing, and I'm glad you like it along with the others that find it interesting. Btw, I have done LOTS of research on WWII, watched lots of documentaries, learned about the weapons used, the lot.



I can't say when it will be finished, but I hope it turns out good.
It happens to be very good. Although a few words are used a bit redundantly, such as the word "mortar".

It happens to be very good. Although a few words are used a bit redundantly, such as the word "mortar".
Thanks, when I revise I'll get a thesaurus and change some.


ALSO: Sorry for double post up there, but no noe posted before I put the segment there. Can anyone help come up with names for it?
« Last Edit: July 02, 2010, 06:40:06 PM by Lil D »

Thanks, when I revise I'll get a thesaurus and change some.


ALSO: Sorry for double post up there, but no noe posted before I put the segment there. Can anyone help come up with names for it?
You don't neccecerily need a thesarus. You can use nouns like "it" or "that",