Author Topic: Blonde jokes!  (Read 6797 times)

A plane is running out of fuel , 30 blonde people and 1 brown haired person are inside they start throwing things out to make the plane lighter . Eventually they even throw the floor away and are holding onto the roof but the plane is still going down and someone needs to be thrown out , nobody can decide who should let go of the roof and eventually the brown haired person says
''Ok i'll let go''
All the blondes clap
I said that one already.


How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two - one to hold the bulb still, and the other to spin the ladder.

There once was a blonde who fapped a lot. He fapped everyday and everynight. the next day at around 00:00, he cums buckets. Whats the joke to this? He's a trap.

One day, a blonde decides to go buy a TV. She goes to the nearest target and asks the salesman if she can have a TV. The salesman said no. The next day, the blonde came back as a brunette. She went to the salesman and asked him if she can have the TV, again. He said, again, no. The day after that, the blonde comes back as a redhead and asks if she can have the TV. And again, the salesman said no. Tomorrow, the blonde shaved her hair and went to the target being bald. She asked the salesman the same question, and he replied with the same answer. No. The blonde then said "Why can't I have this TV?!" and the salesman replied, "It's not a TV. It's a microwave."

There once was a blonde who fapped a lot. He fapped everyday and everynight. the next day at around 00:00, he cums buckets. Whats the joke to this? He's a trap.
Theforget?

How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two - one to hold the bulb still, and the other to spin the ladder.
lol

So a brunette and blonde are on a plane about to jump out and parachute. the brunette jumps out first and pulls her cord. Nothing happens. She pulls her emergency cord, and still, nothing happens. The blonde jumps out and says, "Oh, you wanna race, huh?"



How do you drown a blonde?
Put a scratch-and-sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool.
classic

A blonde called up her boyfriend to ask what his phone number is.

moar to come.  ;)

A blonde, a brunette, and a red head are all walking, talking, and smoking. It starts to rain so they take out some condoms and put their cigarettes into them, the blonde asks them what they are doing and the red head sais "saving them for later". So the blonde goes into a drug store and asks for a condom, the cashier asks her what size. She sais "Umm.. Something that'll fit a Camel"

And more to come

EDIT: Here is moar flame blonde jokes

A lawyer and a blonde are sitting next to each other on a long flight from LA to NY. The lawyer leans over to her and asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists and explains that the game is really easy and a lot of fun. He explains" I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5, and vice-versa." Again, she politely declines and tries to get some sleep. The lawyer, now somewhat agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer you pay me $5, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500!." Figuring that since she is a blonde that he will easily win the match. This catches the blonde's attention and, figuring that there will be no end to this torment unless she plays, agrees to the game.

The lawyer asks the first question. "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?" The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches in to her purse, pulls out a five dollar bill and hands it to the lawyer. Now, it's the blonde's turn. She asks the lawyer: "What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down with four?"

The lawyer looks at her with a puzzled look. He takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references. He taps into the Airphone with his modem and searches the Net and the Library of Congress. Frustrated, he sends E-mails to all his coworkers and friends he knows. All to no avail. After over an hour, he wakes the blonde and hands her $500. The blonde politely takes the $500 and turns away to get back to sleep.

The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, wakes the blonde and asks, "Well, so what IS the answer!?" Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5, and goes back to sleep.





A blonde with two red ears went to her doctor. The doctor asked her what had had happened to her ears?

"I was ironing a shirt and the phone rang - but instead of picking up the phone I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear."

"Oh Dear!" the doctor exclaimed in disbelief. "But .. what happened to your other ear?"

"The son-of-a-bitch called back."




A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here and help me.....I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get it started".

Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"

The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a tiger."

Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle. She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table. He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a tiger".

He held her hand and said, "Second, I'd advise you to relax. Let's have a cup of coffee, then ..........." he sighed, "let's put all these Frosted Flakes back in the box."



A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here and help me.....I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get it started".

Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"

The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a tiger."

Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle. She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table. He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a tiger".

He held her hand and said, "Second, I'd advise you to relax. Let's have a cup of coffee, then ..........." he sighed, "let's put all these Frosted Flakes back in the box."

« Last Edit: December 15, 2010, 09:55:36 PM by SPARTAN-287 »

heres a great one:

A blonde goes to the hardware store. she tells the cashier that she needs a chainsaw that can cut about 100 trees in an hour. the clerk looks around and gives her one. she pays for it, and goes home...
the next day she comes back to the hardware store with the chainsaw and an angry look on her face.
"This chainsaw only cut down one puny tree in one hour!" she said.
"Gee, let me look at it," the clerk says. he pulls the cord and turns the chainsaw on and the blonde says, "Hey, whats that noise?"

2  blondes walk into a bar
you would've thought 1 of them saw it

This is, by far, the best one in this thread. Its the only one I actually laughed at.

As for Steve or Stew or whatever the forget your name is, and that other annoying guy, you two need to both shut up.