Author Topic: Jesus's Computer (Thread reincarnation)  (Read 6218 times)

he has a infinite-core processor.

Jesus has a keyboard with words on the keys, not letters.


Jesus has has a Jesus in his computer.

Jesus' computer has rolelrskates and so does he.

When Jesus' computer starts recording with Fraps or any other recording software his fps goes up.

Jesus' computer has 6,864,847,320+ Terabytes of hard drive space

Jesus' computer's monitor takes up a larger space then the ego of any averge forum member.

When Jesus plays Grand theft Auto he doesn't.

When Jesus drinks orange juice he makes a remark on it' delicous fruity flavour.

When Jesus plays flight simulator he actually flys an aeroplane.

Jesus' speakers are holo-immersive and have very precise distance and distortional audio output properties.

Jesus doesn't need a microphone. He doesn't even loving exist you gits.

There is no God.

No heaven.

We weren't created by some stupid idol.

We were created by the Universe.

We were just a particle of dust when the unvierse found us.

It's glory changed us.

Shaped us.

We turned into simple organisms.

And then evolved, changing andshaping into our own being.

And one day the universe will come back.

AND WE'LL ALL BE SAVED BY SFKJGHIDHBDKL

Cheese.

Orange Juice.

forget yea.

Jesus makes all the internet trolls stuff their pants.

Jesus has "God's Playground" on his computer


Jesus has "God's Playground" on his computer


No, God won't let him play with it yet.

when you start the computer
ANGELS START SINGING

He gets a new computer every Christmas

Jesus's computer has an .exe named "The Apocalypse" on his desktop.

Jesus makes people in Photoshop on his computer.

Jesus's computer has an .exe named "The Apocalypse" on his desktop.
Everyday he puts the cursor on it for a second, and he thinks. Then he shrugs it off and goes to play Crysis on max settings and 4d.

play Crysis on max settings
Heads up, friends. Crysis is no longer the computer-melting beast it was back in 2007. A decent modern computer can run it at max settings.

When he plays Crysis, he's actually viewing a Crysis movie in an alternate timeline.
When I play Crysis I feel like I am the movie.
loving dash at like 40 miles per hour at some poor korean chump, switch to strength mode, grab him by the neck, throw him into his friends, then finally turn invisible and escape while the not-dead guys shoot wildly at the air where I just was.

Please die, supreme guy.
(Jesus can kill you with his computer)