The rapier could rape someone.
Or we could have something called the pen knife.
50% less damage
No random crits
Backstabbing a player gives the player 20 more Health.
Instead of blood, ink bleeds from the opponent.
And i know a pen knife is multiple tools, but their is "Pen" in the word and perhaps it could be just a pen or some sort.
It doesn't help that i thought of this in five seconds, either. So i don't expect anyone to like it.