I'd like to apply for a job where I get to kiss monocles ass:
I'll be the blind boy who is wandering through the woods and is found by the villagers a week before "Jesus" arrives with his brothers. Now when monocle gets there I shall emerge and beg to be healed. Monocle will then stuff on a maple leaf and make me sniff/snort it. My blindness will be worsened but I'll have super smell. I'll give monocle 500 dollars (plus my virginity if the need arises) and follow him forever. When he gets his mansion, I'll live in a cardboard refrigerator box and pickpocket passing people. 90% of my pillaging will go to Miika, Monocle, and Bisjac. The rest I will spend on Swedish hookers.