Chuck Norris Facts

[Muddy Waters]

Chuck Norris won the World Series of Poker using Pokemon cards

Chuck Norris doesn't age. He levels up

If Chuck Norris was a Pokemon, his level would be ChuckNorrisxInfinityTwice

[Ad Bot]

[Man 2]

If Chuck Norris was a Pokemon, his level would be ChuckNorrisxInfinityTwice

If Chuck Norris was a Pokemon...

[NotKreation]

Chuck Norris walked down a street one day and tripped over a lady bug, falling down a hill and into a concrete wall. The lady bug spat on Chuck's profusely bleeding body as the paramedics came to put it on a stretcher.

They couldn't save him.

This thread should be locked.

Chuck Norris once went out into the rain. He caught pneumonia and died. He's not a god.

Chuck Norris gets up at seven in the morning and shaves his 5 o'clock shadow with a Phillips-Norelco 8260xlcc electric razor. He prepares a bowl of instant oatmeal in a 1100 watt microwave. After burning his tongue on the hot oatmeal, he lets it cool for a few minutes. He finishes the oatmeal. He brushes his teeth with a manual toothbrush from Walgreen's and Aquafresh toothpaste. He gets dressed and gets into his 1995 Toyota to go for a drive and try to cope with the strain of having the entire world expect so much of him. He gets home and gets a rope from his garage.
He ties it into a noose...

[Man 2]

Chuck Norris once got kicked in the face by a rival co-worker. He wept as the co-worker laughed at poor Charles' expense.
Chuck Norris, wiping tears from his eyes as they fell to the floor of his Toyota, pulled into the one-car garage of his home in the projects. He went into his kitchen and got a gun from the cabinet.
He put the gun to his temple... No. He couldn't do it.
Vomit mixed with teardrops in the toilet bowl that night, blood gushing from slashes on each wrist. Chuck couldn't bear life any more, but lacked the courage to end it.
That night, Chuck Norris prayed for the first time in his life...
...He prayed for the end.

Edited because I felt people would praise him for being mentally strong enough to commit Self Delete. Which he probably isn't.

[NotKreation]

Chuck Norris once got kicked in the face by a rival co-worker. He wept as the co-worker laughed at poor Charles' expense.
Chuck Norris, wiping tears from his eyes as they fell to the floor of his Toyota, pulled into the one-car garage of his home in the projects. He went into his kitchen and got a gun from the cabinet.
He put the gun to his temple...

71 year olds can't work 

[Man 2]

Chuck Norris walked down the street in a major metropolitain area at night. As he walked into a dark alley he bumped into a dark figure wearing a trench coat. Chuck handed the mysterious entity two hundred dollars in unmarked bills.
"Have you got it?" said Chuck.
"Yes, I have," the man replied. "flown in straight from Bolivia."

[WingZero]

Chuck Norris once got kicked in the face by a rival co-worker. He wept as the co-worker laughed at poor Charles' expense.
Chuck Norris, wiping tears from his eyes as they fell to the floor of his Toyota, pulled into the one-car garage of his home in the projects. He went into his kitchen and got a gun from the cabinet.
He put the gun to his temple... No. He couldn't do it.
Vomit mixed with teardrops in the toilet bowl that night, blood gushing from slashes on each wrist. Chuck couldn't bear life any more, but lacked the courage to end it.
That night, Chuck Norris prayed for the first time in his life...
...He prayed for the end.

Edited because I felt people would praise him for being mentally strong enough to commit Self Delete. Which he probably isn't.

Why post if you hate it?

[NotKreation]

Why post if you hate it?

Chuck norris is oldmeme, and frankly it's loving annoying to hear people talk about him.

[Man 2]

Chuck norris is oldmeme, and frankly it's loving annoying to hear people talk about him.

http://forum.blockland.us/index.php?topic=60618.0
http://forum.blockland.us/index.php?topic=46195.0
http://forum.blockland.us/index.php?topic=85273.0
http://forum.blockland.us/index.php?topic=75537.0
http://forum.blockland.us/index.php?topic=52932.0
http://forum.blockland.us/index.php?topic=59098.0
http://forum.blockland.us/index.php?topic=59240.0
http://forum.blockland.us/index.php?topic=44368.0
http://forum.blockland.us/index.php?topic=66352.0
http://forum.blockland.us/index.php?topic=83807.0

[NotKreation]

His movies are terrible, and if it weren't for the internet nobody would care.

[Man 2]

Here are some facts:
-Chuck Norris starred in the television series Walker, Texas Ranger from 1993 to 2001.
-He was born as Carlos Ray Norris in the town of Ryan, Oklahoma, to parents Wilma (née Scarberry) and Ray Norris.
-In 1958 he joined the United States Air Force as an Air Policeman, stationed in Osan Air Base, South Korea, where he acquired the nickname "Chuck" and began his training in Tang Soo Do.

[NotKreation]

That show sucked >:U

[Meditate]

Jesus walks on water, Chuck Norris swims through land.

[Anti-Block]

Chuck Norris can beat Doom on impossible in three seconds, facing away from the TV, blindfolded as well as earmuffed, underwater.

[NotKreation]

Chuck Norris can beat Doom on impossible in three seconds, facing away from the TV, blindfolded as well as earmuffed, underwater.

goddamnit.
Lock this thread now OP