There's this starfish who has a birthday today and I need help.

[Hiiro326]

I can't think of anything witty to say to him that doesn't make me sound like a huuuuge douche. I don't want to come in and start stuff by being like "Oh happy birthday, by the way most of the school told me they hate you when we where talking a while ago, we should catch up!"


but I want something that will make him upset and sad.


Anyways for the moralcigarettes that care he deserves it, the first time I spoke to him we where grouped together with 2 other people, I was like "Yo Dylan pass the bunson burner" and he was like "Shut the forget up and get it yourself friend"   This was only the first time we spoke but he's been a douche ever since and pretty much the whole school including his best friend who is one of my best friends.



TL;DR: I need ways to zing an starfish on his birthday.

[Ad Bot]

[YorkTown95]

If I were you, don't ruin his birthday, its his special day, at least don't get your ass kicked.

[TeslaCoil]

"Happy Birthday, Perhaps you might finally hit puberty!"

[brickybob]

Take a dump in a box and give it to him.

"Oh, why thank yo-WHAT THE forget IS THIS?"

"I'm sorry.  I thought it was a train set!"

[Hiiro326]

If I were you, don't ruin his birthday, its his special day, at least don't get your ass kicked.

He deserves it and is scrawneyer than how Boltster imagined asablief.

"Happy Birthday, Perhaps you might finally hit puberty!"

Not witty enough.

Take a dump in a box and give it to him.

"Oh, why thank yo-WHAT THE forget IS THIS?"

"I'm sorry.  I thought it was a train set!"

I would but I won't be near him again for years if ever, he's going to a different school and I want my parting words to be sour as forget.

[.:FancyPants:.]

"Happy Birthday, Perhaps you might finally hit puberty!"

Genius.

[IkeTheGeneric]

Seduce him, lure him into his bedroom and sodomize him.

After that, become a gay couple until you can become married, leave him at the alter for his mom and kill his dog

[masterockets]

What about sculpt a richard, put it in a present, and have the tag say "from your secret admirer"
and then put "P.S. I'm gay" on the inside

[Hiiro326]

Genius.

Tesla's idea is growing on me, I might use it.

What about sculpt a richard, put it in a present, and have the tag say "from your secret admirer"
and then put "P.S. I'm gay" on the inside

How is that a burn, it's just upping his self esteem by making him think some random gay guy wants his bone.

[Narkro555]

Well, judging by his description, you'll create a downward spiral of tit-for-tat pranks and arguing between each other that'll make you both miserable. But if you still think "revenge" will solve something go ahead.

[IkeTheGeneric]

Buy him a carrot, put it in a present and leave it with the other presents. Act like you thought it was his mom's birthday when he sees it.

[masterockets]

How is that a burn, it's just upping his self esteem by making him think some random gay guy wants his bone.

then instead light it on fire with stuff inside
he'll open it and see burning stuff
along with his house and other presents

[TeslaCoil]

"Happy Birthday... oh, this is your birthday." *disgusted face*

[aml]

So is your bunson burning?

[asablief]

He deserves it and is scrawneyer than how Boltster imagined asablief.

you're an starfish

(: