Author Topic: What is the best joke you ever heard?  (Read 2542 times)

A neutron walks into a bar and orders a drink. He asks the bartender how much, and hes says, "For you? No charge!"

HAAHAA


Thank god this topic is going in the direction i meant it to.



So a mom and a dad are having fight. the mom calls the dad a bastard and the dad calls the mom a bitch. The son hears them screaming at each other and walks into their room having heard everything they said. The kids asks the mom "What's a bastard?" and the mom says "A bastard is a type of boy." The kid then asks his dad "what's a bitch?" and the dad says "A bitch is a type of girl." The Dad goes to the bathroom to shave and the mom goes to prepare the turkey for thanksgiving. The mom, regretting having the fight with her husband, screams out loud "forget!!!" and the little kid hears her. So he goes to the kitchen and asks his mom "What's forget?" and the mom(since she is stuffing the turkey) says "forget is the stuff I'm putting into the turkey. In fact, the process of doing this is called loving." The dad, also regretting having the fight with his wife, screams "stuff!!!" out loud. the kid hears that too, and goes to the bathroom. the little kid asks "what's stuff?" and the dad( since he is putting shaving cream on) says "stuff is the stuff I'm putting on my face." The kid then goes outside(since it is only 4:00). He met 2 kids, a boy and a girl, on the sidewalk. they both said hi to the boy, and the boy said "Hey bitch! Hey bastard! my mom is loving the turkey, and my dad is putting stuff on his face!"

tl;dr - forget you.


A rich man and a homeless man are having a conversation on what they bought their girlfriends for Valentine's Day

The rich man says, "I got my girlfriend a car and jewelry."
The Homeless man asks, "Why did you get her a car and Jewelry?"
"So that if she doesn't like the jewelry, she can drive to the store and return it."

The Homeless Man replies, "Really, well I got my girlfriend some flip-flops and a carrot."
"Why did you get her those things?", asked the Rich Man.
"So that if she doesn't like the flip-flops, she can go forget herself."   

A rich man and a homeless man are having a conversation on what they bought their girlfriends for Valentine's Day

The rich man says, "I got my girlfriend a car and jewelry."
The Homeless man asks, "Why did you get her a car and Jewelry?"
"So that if she doesn't like the jewelry, she can drive to the store and return it."

The Homeless Man replies, "Really, well I got my girlfriend some flip-flops and a carrot."
"Why did you get her those things?", asked the Rich Man.
"So that if she doesn't like the flip-flops, she can go forget herself."   

I laughed so hard.

I played ROBLOX.
it was good :cookieMonster: :cookieMonster:

OH MY GOD I READ THE WHOLE THING.

I have to admit, that much loving build up for a pun has got to make it probably the funniest joke in the world.

This.
And, I was a bit sad when Nate said he was ready to die.

friend i smoke alcohol.


A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "Why the long face?"
The horse replies "My wife is dying of terminal cancer."

Constipated people don't give a crap.