Clara, I do want to sincerely apologizing for using you.
Throughout the entire time I knew her I thought of her as this key to unlocking happiness, a sort of personal satisfaction that could only be obtained through having someone else sincerely adore you. To make it cut and dry, I used her to feel loved.
This is what fueled all the anger. This is what caused me to threaten her. When she was being unendingly affectionate, I had no qualms with her. We got along as friends did. But if she ever questioned me, if she ever denied me something, this is what pissed me off. My tool to gain gratification was stopping and it left me extremely angry.
She was sincerely a better friend than I deserved at a lot of times. She put up with everything she said she did, and then some. I'm actually lucky she doesn't remember the majority of what was exchanged, and I'm especially lucky she didn't save all our conversations.
And despite all this drama, I want you to know I do really wish the best for you. You could cheer me up and make me feel wanted even when nobody else could. You will make a lot of people extremely happy throughout your life. You've encouraged me to do more with myself and improve, even when you weren't trying.
The only point you have that upsets me is that you claim I wrote the vore stories to get your attention. You didn't play Maplestory or browse the forums while I wrote those. You liked them. You helped guide them, helped me improve my writing and cater to your interests better. You did want them, right?
