SCP Megatopic - oh wow i havent seen this in a while

[MegaScientifical]

http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-562 http://www.scp-wiki.net/reproductive-cycle-of-scp-562

Oh God.


http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-430

... What the forget? Hello Kitty panties that painlessly restore and break your genitals? Like... Weirdly... What?

[Ad Bot]

[SpreadsPlague]

http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-682

probably the best read. especially the termination log

[MegaScientifical]

http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-682

probably the best read. especially the termination log

SCP sucks, why are personnel constantly dying? How do you keep a staff when they always die?

Edit: "This is the official story and we're sticking to it. The alternative, that someone tried to murder Dr. Clef by deliberately putting him in the same room as SCP-682, is completely inconceivable. O5-7"

That came off as handicapped. "And we're sticking to it." Why they'd log this incident in with the rest of this makes no sense. If someone gets edit rights, consult the page maker about repairing this break from tone. In fact, the whole note should be removed. If they want to imply murder, put it within the story given in an unintended sense.

[Tingalz]

http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/experiment-log-826

Head Researcher: Dr. Edison

Subject: Agent █████████
Book: The Sword That Shoots Laser Beams When You Swing It, a 3-page short story written by Dr. Edison. The story consists of a poetic description of a sword that shoots laser beams when swung. The story states it stands on a pedestal as thousands of years pass uneventfully.
Equipment: One (1) canteen filled with water, one (1) watch, one (1) video camera attached to Agent's headset.
Results: Subject is instructed to retrieve the aforementioned sword, test its "magical" properties, and then bring it out. Subject enters door, and returns five minutes later with the original story, and sword. Testing proved that sword, when swung in an arc greater than 45 degrees, emits a beam of radiation consistent with the output of a CO2 laser. Sword has since been assigned to Dr. Edison for furthers study to determine energy source, laser medium, and optical resonators.

Video logs show that the sword in question matched textual descriptions (including the ability to shoot "Laser Beams"), and that Agent █████████ did indeed bring the sword with him. The story itself remains unchanged, except for a paragraph about a man matching Agent █████████'s description stealing the sword and taking it to "Parts Unknown". Sword has been dubbed SCP-826-1

Addendum: Scientific testing has proven inconclusive. Molecular brown townysis shows that SCP-826-1 has a molecular structure consistent with laser printer paper (the medium original story was printed on), yet behaves like high-grade steel in all other respects. The "Laser Beam", on the other hand, acts like a CO2 laser in all respects but speed, which is clocked at a mere 60 km/h, far slower than conventional lasers. Attempts to collect this energy has proven futile, as energy dissipates within █.██ seconds regardless of hitting a target.

Of further note, Agent █████████ has come under the delusion that he is a man named "Galthor" from the kingdom of "Zolgorn". Agent █████████ has insisted on the return of SCP-826-1 to his homeland, and to be released from whatever "foul sorcery" he has been placed under. All attempts at treatment have proven futile. Dr. Edison requests that all further testing with SCP-826 is to be done by D-Class subjects.

Addendum 2: At precisely ██:██:██ on ██/██/██ (exactly 72 hours from Agent █████████'s last trip into SCP-826), Agent █████████ and SCP-826-1 simultaneously disappeared. No trace has been found of the two, and Agent █████████'s existence has been stripped from all Foundation records, including backup copies. The story used in the test in all aspects identical, barring a mention that the man's name was "Galthor". Once again, Dr. Edison suggests that further testing of SCP-826 is to be done by D-Class subjects.

Subject: D-826-01
Book: The Sword That Shoots Laser Beams When You Swing It, a 3-page short story written by Dr. Edison. Same copy that resulted from previous test, alterations and all.
Equipment: One (1) canteen filled with water, one (1) watch, one (1) video camera attached to Subject's headset, one (1) Police issue X26 Taser (loaded).
Results: Subject is asked to retrieve Agent █████████. Subject does not return after five minutes. Agent C██████ enters SCP-826 and retrieves the story without incident. Story now has additional details on a "man in strange garb" trying to stop Agent █████████ with a "magic weapon hereby unknown to man", which matches a description of X26 Police Tazer. Story then describes Agent █████████ injuring D-826-01 with SCP-826-01 before "locking him in the foulest of dungeons in Castle Hyleth". Recovered footage confirms incident.

Subject: D-826-02, D-826-03, D-826-04, D-826-05, D-826-06, and D-826-07, all of whom have military training.
Book: The Sword That Shoots Laser Beams When You Swing It, a 3-page short story written by Dr. Edison. Same copy that resulted from previous test.
Equipment: Six (6) canteens filled with water, six (6) watches, six (6) video cameras attached to Subjects' headsets, six (6) Police issue X26 Tasers (loaded).
Results: Subjects given successfully apprehend Agent █████████ and D-826-01, leaving SCP-826-01 behind. Story acknowledges all changes, describing "six rogues" who "clamored to avenge the blood of their fallen brother" capturing Agent █████████.
Addendum:Agent █████████ still experiencing pathological delusions, and remains convinced that he is a Knight named "Galthor". Likewise, D-826-01 claims to be a "Blood Wizard" named "Rohthmorn", seeking to claim SCP-826-01 to himself. D-826-01's X26 taser has turned into a "Magic Staff" capable of shooting "Lightning", and is hypothesized to have physical properties similar to SCP-826-01. Item has been labeled D-826-02, and has been sent to Site ██ for further testing. Also, Subjects D-826-02, D-826-03, D-826-04, D-826-05, D-826-06, and D-826-07 are now claiming to be "Knights of the Throne" sent to aid "Galthor".

Addendum 2: As in the previous experiment, Agent █████████, Subjects D-826-02, D-826-03, D-826-04, D-826-05, D-826-06, and D-826-07, and SCP-826-02 disappeared at ██:██:██ on ██/██/██ (again, exactly 72 hours from exiting SCP-826). Story now says that "Galthor" was indeed accompanied by 6 "Knights of the Throne", who were armed with "Arcane Weapons" given to them by the good wizard "Edisongrad". All researchers that had been handling SCP-826-02 or SCP-826 are accounted for. Further monitoring of researchers handling objects from SCP-826 is recommended.

Okay, seriously: How did that thing know my name? I'm sure I didn't tell it to either of the agents, and I'm damn sure that I didn't tell any of the subjects. I know this turns up so much in our line of work that it's kind of cliché, but I think the thing might just be sentient… -Dr. Edison

[mp7964]

Which one do you guys think are the best? I'm getting into this. Also somebody make a megatopic.

K this is the SCP Megatopic now. I'll add shif once I'm off of my iPod <3

[Jetlok]

SCP sucks, why are personnel constantly dying? How do you keep a staff when they always die?

Y'SEE
I'S LIKE APERATURE....

[mp7964]

Snip

The test subjects are D-class. That means they're taken from death row or life sentences and forced to do work.

[MegaScientifical]

Bleh, I might have actually known and forgotten that. In any case, the informality of notes displeases me. While making them seem like humans could be refreshing, it seems like most of the staff of SCP talks like teenaged boys and has the same demeanor as them. Why quotes are taken so often from the most informal of their organization perplexes me. You can't tell me you don't see the problems with this... I'm not saying they shouldn't be open to everyday speech, but most of their quotes sound just as they actually are - some teenager writing in an inefficient manner.

I don't get how SCP could be a trustworthy organization for handling such incidents when a majority of their personnel is so immature.

[mp7964]

You're taking this too seriously.. SCP is a fake thing on the internet, not a real organization.

forget MY PHONE FOR TYPING AAAAA

[Ector]

http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-682

probably the best read. especially the termination log

I think I have a toy that has that same body shape

[MegaScientifical]

You're taking this too seriously.. SCP is a fake thing on the internet, not a real organization.

forget MY PHONE FOR TYPING AAAAA

The point is to make themselves seem plausible. But I can't suspend my disbelief any longer - this is starting to bother me, break my immersion.

[MegaScientifical]

http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-826

I bet so many teenagers who were given this SCP would write a quick thing involving a big blank room with a bookcase facing backwards in the back and a hot girl who wants to follow the teenager to parts unknown. (Similarly to the Experiment Log about the Sword.)

[Black and White]

Addendum 387-6: Jesus loving Christ.

[Pepsidude]

What was the one where there was a house filled with water? I always liked that one. It was 210.

I'd love to have the coffee machine. Come to think of it, I'd probably just put in "Gas" or "Petrol" all the time.

[MegaScientifical]

The SCP Foundation exploiting the stuff out of a Pokemon game.

http://www.scp-wiki.net/dr-django-bridge-personnel-file