The object _______ is now ____________ (ANOTHER NEW UPDATE TO RULES)

[comedy101experiments]

>Pillow, this is going to be hard.
The object to the below user's direction of choice is now their weapon in the nuclear war of 2016

[Ad Bot]

[ShadowYoshi294]

UM UM UM
>Printer
Fire! *Prints out nukes*

The object behind the below user is now what crushes their groin.

[carolcat]

a cat tree, but i don't have a groin

the object to the frontal-right of the below user is now their best friend

[Vegetarian Zombie]

I love you, orange peel <3

the object directly to your left is now your husband/wife

[comedy101experiments]

>SMOOCH, SMOOCH, I LOVE YOU, TV REMOTE
The object above you is now your dog

[Deoxys And One Noob]

Good celing, want some celing treats?

the thing in front of you will be involved in Kony 2016

[huddles]

>OH MY GOD ITS A ROLL OF TAPE
The item nearest to your foot will be your only food for the next year.

[ShadowYoshi294]

>Part of desk
Uh, no thanks. I'm not that guy with metal on his daily diet.

Two objects to the left and right of the below user are now swords against a samurai ninja.

[Mr. Jelly]

Book, Shelf, Headphones, (fake) Gun

uhh
okay


the object the farthest to the right will be shoved up your star fish for three days a year

[comedy101experiments]

A wall, this is going to be fun (sarcasm)
The object nearest you is now a train, it is heading straight at you.

[ShadowYoshi294]

>Pen
OMG I'M SORRY FOR USING YOU BUT- *ded*

The farthest object to your left other than a wall is now what you will marry.

[Skyra]

Well I do love books.

The closest object to your left is now in your stomach.

[comedy101experiments]

Headphones.
My stomach can now play music.
The object nearest you is now a pair of pants that is going to eat you.

[Conan]

nearest to what, my leg?

>pants

i still have legs C: but they have a mind of their own :c

the object behind your computer/ipad/iphone/whatever you're using to type the reply is now your favorite food

[comedy101experiments]

WTF?  LOL, I had Pringles behind my laptop :P
:D
The object above you is now a cow.