The best ways to legally repel salesmen/Jehova's witnesses

[SWAT One]

Real men can cook their own food

Amen.

[Ad Bot]

[fred da kiko]

No trespassing/No soliciting sign.

i think you're allowed to attack them at that point.

[dorkdotdan]

Check through the upstairs window first.

[fred da kiko]

Check through the upstairs window first.

then drop a bowling ball on their head.

[ShadowYoshi294]

If you have kitchen knives, come out with the knives and tell them you're making dinner out of human flesh. Also point out that Salesman/Jehova's witness flesh is the tastiest.

[.:FancyPants:.]

1. buy a door that opens outwards
2. open door as quickly as possible
3. hide the body

[Mr. Jelly]

Wear gym shorts and no underwear and answer the door with a raging stiffy.

[Alyx Vance]

i think you're allowed to attack them at that point.

You can.
If they enter your yard without any permission you can legally shoot them at that point.

Real men can cook their own food

Unless its 6am and you need some quick food after a party.

[SWAT One]

I usually say "I'm not Christian"

Lol.
That's why they're there.

[Alyx Vance]

Also another reason we don't get Jehova witnesses is because I live in an area were pretty much everyone has faith.
Hince the family values.

[Dimitry]

My sister has a No soliciting sign in her window, that seems to work she says. Either that or have a 12 gauge at spare.

[Mr. Jelly]

Disregard

[Mr.jacksaunt]

Also another reason we don't get Jehova witnesses is because I live in an area were pretty much everyone has faith.
Hince the family values.

GAY

[Alyx Vance]

GAY

Lol.
Also everyone is all like "praise the lord and do whatever"
And they are also like "yolo" and all, because of that we got corruption

[Someone from Across]

Before you open the door, rev a chainsaw behind it and then ask who it is.