Since about 7th grade its been in my mind that I wanted to join the military, which was odd from my point in life. None of my friends ever mentioned the idea except for one kid but he never got the chance, and I'm not really the kind of guy you would expect to join the military. I've never been very respectful to anyone but my parents and friends and never thought about my love for my country or anything. It's always been the "too big of a world to do anything but care for yourself" attitude for me.
But now, I'm about to go into sophomore year of highschool, which is young, I know, but I've matured greatly and changed who I am since then. My family isn't some rich uptown white family who pampers there children with ferraris and $200 watches because they ask, me and my brothers have been pretty independent all our lives. And from what I've been through and how I see myself, joining the Marines seems like the best, and if not one of the few, options for me.
I've never been a smart kid, I get by in school with C's and D's and I doubt things will ever get much better. I've always played football, its my favorite sport and I love the feel of winning or scoring a touchdown as you clear the endzone, but I doubt I would want to go professional. But I don't want to end up as another dead black kid on the streets who gave up on his family because he was too stupid to do anything else besides throw around a goddamn ball. I don't want to grow up and be nothing, I don't want my parents to live their lives thinking they could have done better for their kid, when really its been my doing all along. My mother and my father have cared and loved me my whole life and I think its only fair that I do them some good by doing something I know is right and I know will help others.
I know a lot of you may disagree on the matter, that us going into the middle east has only made things worse for people and I sure as hell wouldn't be helping anyone. Sure, ok, maybe it did, thats a shame. But if I join up I wont be making the calls or anything, I wont be making a difference by NOT joining. Sure I wont be saving a country, sure I wont be helping millions of thousands of people just by grabbing a rifle and throwing myself out to get shot at. But maybe I can help save a town, maybe I can help deliver food to a starving village, maybe I can save a few lives by just fighting.
My entire life, to me, has been worthless, has been incredibly pointless and hasn't helped anyone. I have done almost nothing to benefit society or anyone else, I've started fights, I've hooked up with girls, I've gotten yelled at by the police, I have done nothing useful. And why can't I change. Why can't I turn my life around by doing something that I think, that I know will be right. I can stop being the loving monday that all the white people look at and think "he'll never amount to anything", I can be the loving monday that walks through the streets, and no matter what other people think, I know I would have done something right.
And maybe I'll die. Maybe I will walk out and I will get shot in the chest, the bullet will pass into a vital organ and I will die before I can get proper medical attention. Maybe I will devastate my parents and my brothers and my family because I wanted do make a difference. Maybe it would have been for nothing, maybe that entire mission would have turned to just be on scared 10 year old with a gun shooting at the oppressive white man. Yes its a possibility, and I've known people who have died for stupider things, young men who want to bang with the west or bang with the east because they think its the right thing to do. What will make me different from any of them? What would make a Bro in fatigues different from a Bro in a snapback and baggy ass jeans when they both get shot by another man? I don't know.
I haven't told my parents yet, I haven't seen the need. I don't know what they will think, and I'm kind of worried about how they will react. My mother has always been a logical woman who cares for her sons and wants them to grow up and go to college and get a nice job and get a nice wife and give her nice grandkids. My dad has always just wanted us to be good, stay out of trouble, do work, be smart. I plan on telling them as soon as they mention college searching and scholarships to me in junior year. I doubt my opinion will change.
Maybe this is just another bs post to you guys or im just some rebellious angsty teen or something. But honestly this has been on my mind for a while, I've been doing a whole lot of research lately about pay and requirements (which I meet physically) and all that, and I see a lot of other people post stuff like this here so I thought why not, its been heavy on my shoulders for a while.
tl;dr I plan on joining the marines once I get out of highschool because I think its the right thing for me to do.
Anyone else having similar thoughts on what they want to do when they go out of highschool? Anyone else planning on joining the military?
