If true:
My advice to you is, don't blame yourself. It doesn't matter how much you think it made him feel bad by not saying "I love you" loud enough, that really has nothing to do with his death, and it certainly doesn't make it your fault. But also remember, death is a very real thing, along with the possibility of an afterlife. Whether you believe in one or not, I would try and make sure you're going to the right place when you die, because you could die at any moment unexpectedly like your dad did.
Also, don't seek guidance and encouragement online, sometimes maybe it could help, but most of the time it really doesn't. Get in the real world where real people and real friends are. If you need someone to talk to, talk to your family or friends at school.
However I would almost be inclined to say this story is false, because while the story would make me think that you are very against drinking and anything intoxicating now, your profile openly jokes about doing drugs.
