so you basically have no friends, or?
anyways, i understand it's hard for you to...whatever's so hard for you, but if you can't even go to a therapist to talk with him/her about your problems, or just screw it and start conversations with people you know from church or whatever, you know that you're never going to learn, right? i've had these fears of random things. i believed that i could fix it by doing it in small steps but that didn't fix it. at one point i decided i was just going to "confront my fear" and from that point on i didn't have the fear anymore. i understand you're kind of scared but really, sometimes you just gotta get the courage to only START talking to someone, and then when you've started you'll notice it isn't that bad.