Turns out I didn't have the power cable all the way in. I fixed that problem, booted it up, computer found it. I ran their program to format it. I do have one thing, though:
I've not put anything on it yet. Every now and then, I hear a strange noise, like... a noise I don't like, but I don't understand. As I was typing this, I decided to test it. I made a text file in it, it made a tiny noise. Messed around typing in it and saving, no sound. I dumped a 12 MB file in it, instantly appeared without a sound. Whatever that noise is isn't directly related to writing data, apparently. Is it just normal? Or did I break something else fumbling with my tower...
Edit: It made a noise again. It was like dun-dun dun-dun, but more... needles on a wobbling record...? I might be exaggerating, but it is randomly making noises when I least expect it. Otherwise it's silent.