Do humans bite? (Human grooming/pet care thread)

[weaver123]

Humans are evil. Kill them all.

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[Katadeus]

Humans are evil. Kill them all.

That doesn't make them any less funny to watch, or harmless to a greater race.

[Tayasaurus]

Blorgs don't seem to have any usual issues with pet humans unlike regular sized species. I'm sure a 1/6 scale market human would be more than ample enough. SHould I get a fattened one or a leaner human? And which ones have a longer lifespan?

[Katadeus]

I'd personally go for a medium-sized one, as the mesomorphs tend to be the most energetic and long-lived. The lifespan seems to depend on its personality and how well it is fed, so if you do get one, I'd watch out to see if it isn't happy.

[Tomcat]

Get an asian one, it can help you with math.
Overfeeding leads to shorter lifespans apparently.

[Doughboy]

I hail from the Omega Quadrant of Omicron 2452.
It smells of raspberries and rum there.

[Kamutog]

I've found out that if you leave a human in a small space for a long time they might get this thing called "Cabin Fever" as I hear.

It seems to be that they can go insane if you do that, so you should give them some time outside.

[Tayasaurus]

Ah so is there a generally more loving type of human? Perhaps one that is more family friendly? I have two baby zorps and they like to pull tails and such, so I'm looking for a tolerant one.

[Tertahedron]

Yes some humans, like rlcbm, can tolerate a lot of stuff. And they are family friendly.

EDIT: I'll be your bitch pet

[Brickmaster]

Humans also eat meat and plants. For a home to live in, make sure it has water. Humans can die from dehydration. I witnessed this at a lab in Gamma sector 15.

[Mardalf]

I'd nearly volunteer as a pet except you seem to know almost nothing about humans and our well being

[Tayasaurus]

I'd nearly volunteer as a pet except you seem to know almost nothing about humans and our well being

Silly zorp. Humans do not use the internet. They are humans.

[Cool Boi]

This thread is silly

[Mardalf]

Silly zorp. Humans do not use the internet. They are humans.

then my life is a lie?

[Kamutog]

Silly zorp. Humans do not use the internet. They are humans.

When I had a pet human I saw it try to use the internet, it was hilarious. But it almost deleted the browser so I had to get it off.