Bad joke thread

[AdinX]

Personally for me, bad/corny jokes have always been my favorite. I run across them on a daily basis, but I never write them down or anything, so I figured why not see if I can start a thread for it? I don't have any good material with me sadly (aside from one), but hopefully we can get some good jokes flowing.

I was on the stuffter earlier, finishing my business and what-not. I flushed the toilet, when all of a sudden the tub gurgled, scaring me enough to jump off the seat. Needless to say, I was scared stuffless.

You do know that the BF3 weapon pack is up there, right?

I guess you could say he was
UNAWARE

get out go forth and conquer, forumlings. Even bad jokes are good jokes here

[Ad Bot]

[childofdarkness016]

did u guys know that coffee has been the grounds for many a heated debate???

original pun do not steal

[Assistant]

◦What's the difference between bird flu and swine flu?
◦If you have bird flu, you need tweetment. If you have swine flu, you need oink-ment.

[XR-7]

It's kind of an inappropriate joke that I heard in chemistry class when I was homeschooled, but it's pretty clever regardless.

How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two.  But how did they get in there?

◦What's the difference between bird flu and swine flu?
◦If you have bird flu, you need tweetment. If you have swine flu, you need oink-ment.

I cringed lol

[Caribou]

What's the difference between Obama Care and Romney Care? One starts with a capital O! Get it? Capital O? *insane laughter*

[XR-7]

What's the difference between Obama Care and Romney Care? One starts with a capital O! Get it? Capital O? *insane laughter*

<whispering voice>

"We are back....to the inside joke theater...."

[Maxwell.]

the United States debt XD

[Pie Crust]

Why can't you play poker in Africa? It's filled with cheetahs!

[Assistant]

◦What is the Karate experts favorite beverage?
◦Kara-tea.

[AdinX]

How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two.  But how did they get in there?

[ßlöükfáce]

Why can't a gay guy go more than 68 miles an hour

[Plexious]

You can't spell slaughter without laughter.

[XR-7]

Why can't you play poker in Africa? It's filled with cheetahs!

Where's the door?  I need to step out lol.

K.  Now here.

So there was this slightly introverted high school student who had never asked a girl to a dance. It’s his senior year and he feels that he should go to prom. So he musters up the courage and asks one of his friends. She says yes. Now he has to prepare for the dance. The next day, he goes to buy his tickets, and there is a huge line. So he waits, and waits, and waits, then he finally gets the tickets. The next day, he goes with his date to go get a dress. When they get to the store, there is a huge line going out the door. So the wait, they wait, and they wait. Finally, they get to the front and buy a dress. After this, they go to men’s warehouse to get him a suit for the dance, and there is a huge line going out the door. So they wait, wait, and wait. Finally they get in and buy a nice suit. The next day, he remembers that he needs to order a corsage. So he goes to the local store and there is a huge line. So he waits, waits, and waits until he gets his order in. Now it’s the day before prom and he wakes up and realizes that he forgot to order a limo, so he calls up the limo rental place. All the lines are busy so he decides to go into the place. When he gets there, he sees the line stretching out the door and around the corner. So he waits, and waits, and waits, until finally he was lucky enough to get the very last limo. So now it’s the night of the dance and when they get to the prom, the school is doing mandatory drug testing, so there is a huge line getting into the prom. So the wait, wait, and wait. Finally they get to the front and they both pass their drug tests. Now the dance was going pretty good for about a half an hour, until he really, really had to go to the bathroom. So he takes off to go, and he sees this huge line going out of the bathroom. He waits, waits, and waits until he finally takes care of his business. When he comes out of the bathroom, he notices that a crowd has formed around his date. She had just randomly passed out. Someone says to him, “hey, you’re her date, go get her some punch.” So he goes over to the punch table and thank god, there is no punch line.

[mod-man]

you owe 33 thousand dollars in back taxes

haha

[Pie Crust]

What do you get when you cross a baby deer with a ghost? A bamboo!
What did the rabbit give to his girlfriend? A 24-carrot ring.
What animal comes out on cloudy days? A raindeer.
What does a skunk judge yell out when the court is unbearable? Odor in the court!
What is the snake's favorite subject? Hisssssssstory.
What does a bison say to his son before he left for school? "Bison!"
What tool does a frog use in Tezuni's server? A croak and dagger.