POOP THREAD - ELECRO IS GAY

[*FacePalm*]

don't drink a lot of eggnog unless you want to stuff a boulder

[Ad Bot]

[Ragequit]

OH MY GOD MY loving TOILET BOWL IS COATED IN BROWN LIQUID

[Mr Man]

don't drink a lot of eggnog unless you want to stuff a boulder

I love both of those so i think I win here

[PowerDag]

I love both of those so i think I win here

you love geology?

[Prokiller10]

I love both of those so i think I win here

SO you love eggnog & love to stuff boulders?
all you guys lose, this guy is boss.

[Maxwell.]

I love both of those so i think I win here

nonono I think he's saying he loves drinking and boulders
Mr man is an alcoholic which explains why he urinated himself in the bathtub

[Lizzy]

My time to shine

So like I have a buddy, and he's my best friend in the entire world. He's pretty mentally healthy and by that I mean not like legit handicapped, like my other friends and exes, which I'll get to later. (whom also stuff themselves)

Over the summer, me and him were summer fun buddies. We experimented, so long story short, one day me and him were home alone, and I was fingering his ass. Not to be disgustingly detailed but I had two fingers in, all was good, everything was clean. Welp he asked for more, so I put another two in and started going at it.

And then... it happened... I never expected this

To my shock and horror there was stuff

Trickling down my arm as my friend grunted

I was like "Oh christ its a mudslide" and he whimpered "I'M SORRY I CAN'T STOP IT"

While keeping my cool (cause you know stuff happens when you're toying with someone's brown town cavity), I slowly pulled my fingers out

And then

Sploosh!

The flood of the century; what could only be described as the colorful soap in car washes but in dark earthly hues

Spewing everywhere like a busted pipe

The day we decided to not do an enema before having butt fun, he was sick with stomach problems

At this point my buddy was almost in tears and trying to hide from me, while it was still going on, mind you . It was on his legs, pants, my arm, the ground, the bed and even my face. It was on my loving face.

I was kneeling at the edge of the bed before standing up and running to the bathroom, I washed my hands along with my face and grabbed a towel and some baby wipes to clean the mess. I walked back in the room and placed the towel over the butt gravy puddle and placed my hand on his back to get his attention. He wouldn't move, and refused to talk. After about 2 minutes of silent treatment he stood up with his face loving tomato, bloody, baboon asscheeks red. He was so flustered, I was trying so hard to keep a straight face, I felt so bad for him.

I tried handing him the baby wipes and he stared at me with the most, horrifying, loving demon possessed, death glare in all of all humanity. He was panting in anger and I stepped back in fear. He snatched the baby wipes

"F-forget you, Liz! I'm going downstairs to clean MYSELF!"

And I replied with "Oh ok-"

"AND LEAVE ME ALONE"

He literally stomped on the floor like a handicap throwing a fit and bowed his head in sorrow as he turned his back and slowly walked away, doing the walk of shame, with stuff, running down his legs.

I will never be the same again

Every time I close my eyes, I see it

I feel it

stuff gravy is there

[Biostorm]

Taken from my post in the "most disgusting thing you have ever done thread", I'm sure this is some sort of crime. Apologies in advance for this being long. We have a big outdoor music festival here every year that is in a large park down town (they also shut down the streets around it as well as use the civic center right by the park). When I was 17 we went like we (my then GF) and I did every year. Well, it was the last day of the event and it was coming to an end on Sunday night. As we were sitting in front of the stage for one of the last acts, I get the ever so dreadful churning and gargling in my stomach that I always know is going to end in diarrhea. The port-o-potties are about football field away and they always had long lines, so I decide to tough it out since I was about to head home. It progressed further to the point that I'm starting to sweat and getting sharp pains as we begin packing up and walking out.

I have to walk about 4 blocks over to a parking garage where I and they (her family) are parked. So we get there, I'm clinching trying to hold it together, and she is doing the usual drawn out teenage goodbye which feels like eternity. Finally she leaves and I head up to the middle deck (about 3 floors up, they were on the bottom) to my car. As I walk toward my car she calls my phone and inform me she has my keys still (were in her purse) and to come back down and get them. Now, at this point it has rapidly progressed to the point I am penguin walking around this parking garage about to lose the good fight. I get back down and get my keys, she draws out the I love you, I'll miss you, blah blah blah again and I'm about to just run away. She leaves and I think maybe I can get back in and just hold it till I get to the port-o-pottie. No dice, since the event was over, they wouldn't let anyone back in. I make it back to the garage, dripping buckets of sweat, having to stop every 10 ft or so to clinch and wait for the all temporary clear. There is no public elevator in this garage, so I'm between floors, in the stair well, when it's game time. Nothing could hold it back. It was if someone had kicked me in the stomach and there was no holding back. I fling my pants/boxers off and the most horrible chunky liquid spews out. There is so much of it that it starts running down the stairs and all of a sudden "click-chhhhh", the door on the bottom floor, two flights of stairs below me, open. I quickly wipe my bottom with my boxers and throw my pants back on. As I'm entering my floors door I hear "OMFG, OMG OMG OMG, WTF". I hop in my car and take off.

Flash forward to the next day. We are sitting around watching TV and they run a news story about the event. Apparently the door way I lost it at was also the floor that has the entrance to the mayors office. They are looking for the "vandals" and there may be a reward for any information. At this point, being 17, I'm freaking out thinking what if cameras saw me, what if they saw my car and start questioning people, what if they DNA test the poo. My GF is utterly disgusted at the story and thinks "people like that should be put down". A few days later, I get a call from the police department that I need to come down to the station. I'm of course freaking out, immediately turn pale white according to my mom. We make it down to the station and I am at the point of being in tears thinking I'm going to jail. Turns out they had recovered my stolen car stereo that was stolen a few months back. They just needed me to sign off on it.

Courtesy of Reddit

[crunk²]

While keeping my cool (cause you know stuff happens when you're toying with someone's brown town cavity)

[cooldawson3]

So like I have a buddy, and he's my best friend in the entire world. He's pretty mentally healthy and by that I mean not like legit handicapped, like my other friends and exes, which I'll get to later. (whom also stuff themselves and i will get to them later)

You never told the story of the other friends and exes. I'm laughing so hard at the other story that this has my interest.

[newspeed12]

I find this thread funnier than ylyl atm

[F3d323]

i remember a classmate had to go poop during class and he asked if he could go to the toilet but the teacher said no each time he asked
we were in mid-test when suddenly the loudest fart is heard coming from him
the smell started spreading and the teacher kindly asked him to forget off
when he stood up you could see like a brown trail going down his uniform's pants

he was absent for a whole week after that

[Lizzy]

You never told the story of the other friends and exes. I'm laughing so hard at the other story that this has my interest.

Last year I dated this guy who believed he's a real vampire and thinks that he stole my bras when we broke up

And believes it is like this horrid revenge that he could use to get back at me for "betraying his soul" Not only that but he wears them

...And stuffs them

And yes there are two stuff stories for him but I have to go into the entire school year, because it was beautiful, which is filled to the brim with stupid stories I could make into an entire novel

[Satan From Wreck-It-Ralph]

post them

[Lizzy]

post them

I have an urge to make an entire thread just for my sophomore year of high school

I bet most of the forums wont even believe some of the dumb ass stories because theyre so far fetched.

But no lie my crazy ex really thinks he is a vampire because his family is from Romania