[NEW POLL] Cross Country Run [Catch a bus?]

[Skuras]

Yo uncle is a smooth talker and he fooled you. There's no telling what he's gonna be doing or where he took you when you finally wake up.

try to move around in your sleep

[Ad Bot]

[XR-7]

Now bang the loveiest tribes woman.

beat your richard until it disintegrates

You go into a tent and have the wildest one night stand ever. When you come out, you can't call yourself a man anymore.

snap the forget out of it and wake up

Yo uncle is a smooth talker and he fooled you. There's no telling what he's gonna be doing or where he took you when you finally wake up.

try to move around in your sleep

You try shaking yourself around a bit and pinching yourself, but nothing seems to happen. The sky seems to be getting a little blurry though and you can't see clearly as far.

A man runs up from a field all hysterical saying that a lion killed his oldest son. He explains that he only has one son left now to carry his family name.

Status:

You are Chief Johnface Cenazoo and are actually John Cena managing a primitive tribe in Kenya. You don't have virginity anymore.

[Space1255]

It's raining cinnamon toast crunch.
Taste it to see if you can see why kids rave about it.

[Decepticon]

gotta get a grip

[XR-7]

It's raining cinnamon toast crunch.
Taste it to see if you can see why kids rave about it.

It begins to rain cinnamon toast crunch. You open your mouth to the sky to catch the manna from heaven. It turns out that kids rave about it because it has sugar in it.

gotta get a grip

You realize that you need to get out of this situation. After roaming in and out of tents, you find a medicine woman. She builds a fire and screams at it before telling you to pee in it and shave your head. After doing this, she pulls your face down to her eye level.

"This is not your real life." she tells you.

"Tell me something I don't know," you reply.

"In your physical embodiment, something caused you to lose reality and come to save our village in a dream. You are John Cena and have therefore saved us all by impregnating all the women in order to make us a superior race. From all of us to you, we are eternally grateful."

"Well how do I get out of here?" you ask.

"Just wake up," she says bluntly before throwing sand in your face.

Immediately, everything grows dimmer and fades to obscurity. Everything is black. You fall down and find yourself on a cold, uncomfortable metal floor. You feel like you're moving, but you're not going anywhere. Everything is still totally black, but you feel conscious. You try to stand up, but with the sensation of movement and being unable to see anything at all, you quickly fall down. You feel yourself and realize that you're wearing your regular clothes, but there is nothing in your pockets. You crawl around in the blackness and bang your head on a wall. You must be in some sort of gigantic box. You feel around and find what appear to be cardboard boxes. You also find something that feels like a gigantic rubber band that is connected to the base of a wall. A sudden bump in the movement sends you toppling to the floor.

What the heck?

Status:

Location: Unknown
Time: Unknown
Temperature: Unknown
Stamina: Rested
Hunger: Not Hungry
Local Heat (your apparent wanted level in a given area): None

You are in some sort of moving dark metal box with cardboard boxes inside.

Hygiene:

Shower status: Good
Amenities status (deodorant, body spray, cologne): Average
Mouth status: Average
Clothing Status: Clean

Colon contents: Locked and loaded

Items:

One set of clothing on your back (sweater, shirt, jeans, underwear, socks, shoes)

[CRITAWAKETS]

Thanks for putting us here. Break open from a door somewhere.

[Refticus]

poop in the box
also scream

[bigcapitalbaka]

after that scream hulk hogan sucks

[Space1255]

Fill the room with so much cum that the door bursts open. Then stuff in the middle of the floor.

[Duck Quackington]

Do it the pusillanimous individual way and pray to god to get out of the box we're in

[Swat 3]

You are in the U-Haul truck.

[XR-7]

The inky blackness really gets to you. You rip off your clothes and poop on the floor while jacking off uncontrollably screaming hate about Hulk Hogan and praying that God will free you from this hell.

You are in the U-Haul truck.

But you know, the more you think about it, the movement almost reminds you of....riding in a car. But what car has a gigantic metal box full of cargo? Hmm...your uncle had a U-Haul.

Thanks for putting us here. Break open from a door somewhere.

You gather your composure and put your clothes back on. You find the rubber strap and jerk on it. The wall moves up a smidge and a tiny bit of morning light appears at the base of it. You stick your fingertips underneath the door and peer underneath. You see a long straight highway underneath. You're definitely inside some sort of truck. You try pulling the door up further, but there is a latch on the outside preventing you from doing so. You take off your socks and stuff them inside the crevice. You have a very tiny amount of light in the box now.

The inside of the box is starting to stink from the mess you made.

Status:

Location: Unknown
Time: Unknown
Temperature: Unknown
Stamina: Rested
Hunger: Not Hungry
Local Heat (your apparent wanted level in a given area): None

You are in some sort of truck with cardboard boxes inside. You are moving along an unknown highway and have no idea how long you were unconscious or where you are.

Hygiene:

Shower status: Good
Amenities status (deodorant, body spray, cologne): Average
Mouth status: Average
Clothing Status: Clean

Colon contents: Empty

Items:

One set of clothing on your back (sweater, shirt, jeans, underwear, shoes)

[Decepticon]

see if you can find something on the floor around you with this newly-acquired sunlight that could possibly help you with moving the latch

[Space1255]

Try and make a knife. When your uncle lets you out, shank him.

[blockguy™]

when he lets you out, find a way to kill him and take the truck