MindHive [Thread finished, now planning for Quest to Save Kompressor Redux]

[tber123]

Ask the vending machine what is going on, keep some distance from it just in case and ask for an anti-drug if they have any.

Ask the Vending Machine for milk, it cures all effects
Minecraft logic

Joshua: What the hell is going on?
Vending Machine: It's the guys in the White House! They kidnapped most of the other humans and gave life to inanimate objects like us!
Joshua: Why?
Vending Machine: Because they can! And because they're planning something big! It's a grand conspiracy, and the fact that you're still in this town means you've seen too much!
Joshua: Do you have anything that can neutralize the effects of being high? I'm tripping balls.
Vending Machine: No. All I can do is dispense water.
Joshua: Not even milk?
Vending Machine: No milk.

Joshua hears the Cardboard Cops outside.

Cardboard Cop 1: "Search the damn houses! I'm certain he's in one of them!"



The cardboard cops begin knocking on the door.

Vending Machine: <whispering> Quickly! Hide! I'll try to throw them off your tail!"


Vending Machine: <nervously> Evening, Gentlemen! How are you on this fine day!


Cardboard Cop 5: Shoot him. I can see through his bullstuff.

The Vending Machine is shot into a bunch of tiny pieces.



Cardboard Cop 4: We know you're in here! Surrender and die!

you got a flare minigun, so use it
bap a stuffton of caps into the cardboard cops

Joshua leaps out of cover, screaming and firing the Flare Minigun at the same time! The Cardboard Cops put up a good fight, but all of them are slaughtered in the end.



Joshua catches his breath for a few seconds right as more and more Cardboard Cops start swarming in.

Cardboard Cop: "Surrender and die! CHARGE!"
Cardboard Cop 2: "Wait wait wait! He's just going to slaughter us like he did the rest of the other guys! Starve the bastard!"
Cardboard Cop 3: "That's too slow, you nitwit! Flush the bastard out!"



A canister of Tear Gas is thrown out, landing next to Joshua's feet.



Oh, stuff.



Joshua coughs and chokes on the tear gas while his vision blurs. There is massive chest pain, difficulty breathing, some vomiting, and his eyes watering. It's near-impossible for Joshua to fight back in this state!



Meanwhile, the Cardboard Cops, taking advantage of the fact that they don't need to breathe, start rushing Joshua en masse. Say your prayers now?


It is ?:?? PM on Thursday(?), December 22? On January 1, Joshua will be released from MindHive. Assuming Augmented Horizons isn't lying.
Joshua is Lightly Wounded, Suffering from Tear Gas, and is Obviously Tripping Out

Joshua's Inventory
VendOS's New Arms
MEAT CLEAVER
Flare Minigun
Yellow Snow x12
Subject 6024's Electronic Multi-Tool
Subject 6024's Tablet

CARDBOARD COPS HOSTILE - SHOOTING TO KILL
SWAT TEAMS JOINING THE MANHUNT - ETA 3 MINUTES
POLICE MANHUNT IN PROGRESS!

[Ad Bot]

[Space1255]

Cry violently

[NotBomberguy]

shoot the flare minigun inside the house, the fire will ignite some gas thingy and blow you and them to bits
promptly cry out allahu Akbar before doing so

[d]

Use the flair gun on yourself. They can't take you alive.

[KristoB]

throw meat cleaver

[Nicepoint]

shoot the flare minigun inside the house, the fire will ignite some gas thingy and blow you and them to bits
promptly cry out allahu Akbar before doing so

[Just M2]

Freigin death

[TableSalt]

Use your salt powers to blast them away!

[RTBARCHIVE]

become indestructible.

[tber123]

Cry violently

Joshua is already crying violently from the tear gas.

throw meat cleaver

Joshua throws the meat cleaver in a random direction as an act of desperation, managing to get it stuck in a nearby wall.

shoot the flare minigun inside the house, the fire will ignite some gas thingy and blow you and them to bits
promptly cry out allahu Akbar before doing so

Use the flair gun on yourself. They can't take you alive.

Joshua resists the urge to commit Self Delete! Dying just isn't his style!

Joshua's resistance to commands he doesn't like has increased. It's probably at 99% or something now. Insert foreshadowing here.

Freigin death

It's hard to feign death when you're being tear-gassed.



Also in desperation, Joshua starts willing for himself to gain salt powers and invincibility! He thinks hard enough to hurt his own brain! It's not working! It's not---

Use your salt powers to blast them away!

become indestructible.

PCHOOM

Several cardboard cops are torn to pieces by the sheer force of the salt blast, while the rest are knocked flat on their... cardboard ass?



Cardboard Cop: Jesus! He's unlocking his full potential! We need the bigger guns!



A strange feeling surges through Joshua as he walks out of the house, confused. "Full potential"? Superpowers? Is this even poss---

Stranger: STOP right there!
Joshua: Huh?

Stranger: Putting an end to this bullstuff. Now.
Joshua: Wha---
Stranger: You need to face reality now and go back to the land of the living.



RETCONNED!

A bright light quickly begins to fill the entire world.

Stranger: Wake up. Wake up!



Joshua wakes up on a hospital bed with a doctor standing over him.

Doctor: So... You're awake now. How about that.
Joshua: W-What happen---
Doctor: Cops in the next town over found a massive stockpile of marijuana mixed in with some other ungodly combination of powerful, toxic stuff. Those bastards burned that 10 ton stockpile of weed and didn't bother informing us. Everyone else in the city is high-off of their ass as we speak, and only now are they starting to come down.

That doesn't explain why Joshua didn't start smelling the fumes until he was inside the hardware store, though. Maybe it's because he left the door open when he entered the store? Joshua decides not to question it.

Joshua: How long was I out?
Doctor: You've been out most of the night. Cops found you running around screaming like a monkey while naked and swinging around a pair of robot arms. Thank goodness that they only tazed, tear gassed, and pepper sprayed you into submission before nearly bashing your skull open with a nightstick. You're still alive, so be thankful. Now get out of here.

Joshua laments the fact that he can't go 5 seconds without something batstuff insane happening to him. One less day until Augmented Horizons will deactivate MindHive. One less day to endure before Joshua can go back to a normal life.
It is 8:00 AM on Thursday(?), December 23 On January 1, Joshua will be released from MindHive. Assuming Augmented Horizons isn't lying.
Joshua is Healthy

Joshua's Inventory
VendOS's New Arms
Flare Minigun
Yellow Snow x12
Subject 6024's Electronic Multi-Tool
Subject 6024's Tablet

[gebenuwell]

go outside and treat yourself with a healthy meal. you had a rough day

[Mr Queeba]

go outside and treat yourself with a healthy meal. you had a rough day

[NotBomberguy]

recover from what you just loving saw

[Refticus]

realise your very existence is a lie and that you are only a figment of someone's imagination.

your genocide crusade begins here, after getting a mcdonalds

[Nicepoint]

Check if you still have your salt powers, you gon be SOOOO op in LoL