

YOU forgetS WHY
WELL stuff IF ITS ON FIRE GO AROUND ON A GENOCIDE
Don't, try to escape.
Joshua frantically looks around for an exit and quickly sees a conveniently open pathway to freedom! Wait a minute, fire doesn't work that way in real life! Then again, this thread isn't particularly realistic at all.


As Joshua runs for the conveniently fire-proof path, the flames catch up to him!

piss yourself furiously to extinguish the fires
In a moment of desperation, Joshua unzips his pants and urinates into the air to put out the fire! The flames are too much for the urine to handle, and Joshua isn't the Postal Dude!

Scream as you burn to death.
At least it isn't at the hands of that commie ghost bastard.
Joshua naturally screams as he continues burning, but then he eventually realizes what stop, drop, and roll is!

Your revival was possible with the soul of duck quackington, QUACK! For help
Joshua begins quacking loudly, but nobody comes to his aid!

SMASH A loving WINDOW WITH YOUR GUN
LEAP OUT PROMPTLY
Calmly walk outside as if there is no fire.
Joshua begins running frantically for a window to escape from! He manages to reach the Oval Office(and spots Donald Annoying Orange's still-burning corpse) to find himself trapped by the flames... Or is he?

Joshua looks to the side and sees salvation! An open window waiting for him!

Joshua runs for the window! He smashes it with the Flare Minigun and jumps out!


Joshua takes a deep breath, and calms himself down before casually strolling away from the White House and entering his car.

Joshua drives to a gas station to refill his car when his stomach grumbles.
Joshua: "Can we stop with the 'getting me into life-threatening and death-defying situations' business now, you guys?"
It is 10:23 AM on Thursday, December 22. On January 1, Joshua will be released from MindHive. Assuming Augmented Horizons isn't lying.
Joshua is
Badly Wounded, Burned Horribly and wants to:
- Get groceries so he doesn't starve when he becomes hungry again
- Buy his family christmas presents
- Get his mom a birthday present
VendOS is
Coming back into range for MindHive to control it again! ETA: 11 minutes?Joshua's InventoryFlare Minigun
Yellow Snow x12
Subject 6024's Electronic Multi-Tool
Subject 6024's Tablet