Joshua's face might have changed slightly since Enhanced Citizens V3 is gone and I'm using EC V4 now
Well that was one big clusterforget
Well i guess i'm back again, i have no idea that would happen, and yes i will not block anyone else so i dont cause a huge ass clusterforget again.
Anyways back to the system.
Welcome to CognitoHazardOS Incog mode (ive made it a different name since ive "coded" up a new OS for the "team")
Initiating BERRYMAN-LANGFORD MEMETIC KILL AGENT
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...
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Continued life signs confirmed
Welcome O5Council.
א!:fw
************
Password accepted
א!:gh RESTRICTED
א!:gh RESTRICTED
א!:tg inventoryAdd.armorAmmoGuns("Bren-MKIII light machine gun, Bren ammo x1337,Steyr scout tactical, lightweight strong body armor,500$");
Code accepted.
א!:tg mindHiveHeadChip.sendMessage("Here have these and give them to your uncle, oh and also take some money incase you have to buy anything, also you can call me O5-x14.");
א!:exit.();
Well that does that, lets just hope a huge clusterforget doesn't happen again.
VendOS suddenly finds that Uncle Greyson's birthday presents have mysteriously teleported into it's inventory!

"Can you spot your uncle?"
Joshua spots Uncle Greyson on the bridge connecting the two buildings in his compound. Uncle Greyson is silently observing the carnage around him and pacing around uneasily.
You need to sneak in, then when you can make contact with your uncle.
Seeing as how the front entrance of the Cult Compound is overcrowded(and Molotov roostertails are being thrown around willy-nilly along with tear gas), Joshua moves along the perimeter of the compound until he finds a safe spot to get in.

Joshua peeks around a corner and notices that the coast is clear.


As he prepares to hop the fence, the SWAT Team finally decides that it's had enough and opens fire into the crowd of protesters. The Police Helicopters join on on the shooting, mowing down everything that moves. And Joshua falls under "everything that moves". The gunner in the chopper fires a short burst at Joshua, and only succeeds in murdering the grass.


UNLEASH THE BEAST WITH THE MINIGUN
Check how many flares you have left.
Yay!
Joshua's flare minigun has an insane number of rounds left, so don't worry about ammo management(Unless explicitly stated, assume all weapons have infinite ammo). He opens fire on the chopper in self defense(no guilt here!), lighting it on fire and causing it to crash in a massive fireball.

Get your uncle out of there then send in VendOS to do his thing
Joshua continues sneaking into his Uncle's compound. Peering around a corner, he witnesses the surviving SWAT Members taking a look around and realizing that almost everyone is dead.

One of them starts shouting something about paperwork and administrative leave before blaming some other guy, while the other guy shouts back about how it wasn't supposed to turn into a clusterforget.

Taking advantage of the distracted SWAT Officers, Joshua sneaks into the compound and locates Uncle Greyson.
Joshua: "Hey, Uncle."
Greyson: "Jooosshuuuaa! My man! Let's get the hell out of here! Fellow members of my flock have intercepted police communications. Turns out, they're also in on the conspiracy to violate my right to practice whatever damn religion I well please! There's an arrest warrant out on my head!"
Joshua: "VendOS has your christmas present. Merry Early Christmas, Uncle."
Greyson equips the armor, weaponry, and stuffton of ammo.
Greyson: "A living Vending Machine? Do you know what this means, Joshua?"
Joshua: "No."
Greyson: "It's the first sign that it's the end for you and me! For everyone! For them! I predicted this back in '97 when I was in Utah, but even the Mormons over there were calling me a fraud and an insane liar! I fled to California a few years later to spread the word to a more liberally accepting audience, but they were too busy fighting about immigrants and legalizing marijuana to give a damn! Then I fled right here to this very state even many more years later and---"

More SWAT Officers show up to reinforce the survivors before they surround the compound!
SWAT Officer: <On Megaphone> "THIS IS THE POLICE! GREYSON AND FOLLOWERS, PLEASE COME OUT WITH YOUR HANDS UP. DO NOT ATTEMPT TO RESIST. YOU'RE SURROUNDED!"
Joshua: "We've got to get out of here, Uncle! We can all escape once I have VendOS deal with them! Everyone take cover!"

VendOS jumps out the window and confronts the SWAT Team!
SWAT Officer: "FREEZE!"
SWAT 2: "A loving VENDING MACHINE?"
SWAT 3: "What is this?"
VendOS: INITIATING SALTWATER OVERDRIVE BLAST.


The SWAT Team opens fire on VendOS, blowing off both it's arms!
VendOS: OW. YOU CANNOT STOP ME. ACCEPT CERTAIN DEATH.
The SWAT Team opens fire again on VendOS.
VendOS: SALTWATER OVERDRIVE PREPARATIONS COMPLETE. PREPARE TO DIE. HAVE A NICE DAY.

SWAT Officer1's ribcage is shredded along with the rest of his internal organs!!
SWAT Officer2's spine snaps in half!
SWAT Officer3's face is ripped to shreds!
SWAT Officer4 is violently mutilated!
SWAT Officer5 gurgles on her own blood as her throat is sliced open by a flying bone shard!
SWAT Officer6 has all of his limbs mangled and dies shrieking in agony!
SWAT Officer7 backflips as his body falls apart!
SWAT Officer8 is violently decapitated!
SWAT Officer9's left arm is blown off!
SWAT Officer10's flesh is violently torn off from his skin!
SWAT Officer11 has a hole blown into her torso!
Helicopter Pilot: "MAYDAY! MAYDAY! WE'RE GOIN DOWN---"
*BOOM*VendOS: KEEP THE CHANGE, YOU FILTHY ANIMAL.Joshua, VendOS, Uncle Greyson, and Uncle Greyson's cultists drive away from the scene to Joshua's house. VendOS is forced to use a backup pair of arms, since his original arms were blown to pieces.
Uncle Greyson: "That was some craazy stuff! Mind if we crash at your house, my favorite nephew? We're only crashing long enough until I can find somewhere to lay low."
Joshua: "Uh... Okay. But I have to see something first."

Joshua spots the Priest outside his house and wakes him up.
Joshua: "What happened?"
Priest: "I'm sorry, my child. I caught it waiting in the house to kill you, but that's when the Ghost phased through the ground and escaped. You still have my phone number, so you can always call me again when it comes back."

Koschei is still out there. Waiting. Joshua ponders on this fact while Uncle Greyson leads his cult into Joshua's house for some partying.
Uncle Greyson: "Break out the booze and the bitches, my fellow bretheren! It's time to celebrate our prophet surviving against The Man!"
It is 4:59 PM on Thursday, December 22. On January 1, Joshua will be released from MindHive. Assuming Augmented Horizons isn't lying.
Joshua is
HealthyVendOS is
Badly DamagedJoshua's InventoryFlare Minigun
Yellow Snow x12
Subject 6024's Electronic Multi-Tool
Subject 6024's Tablet
VendOS's InventorySaltWater Bottle x600
HE Grenade x1
$20000
Marker
Spraycan