Intro: Some of you have probably been picking up wind of what's going on just from me hit-and-miss ranting around in Nick's discord or talking to me one on one, but I kinda want to type everything out in one place where people can give their input. Basically, there's this girl at work that I've been getting very close to but probably for different reasons that what she and I believe. She is definitely one of my two best friends and she's told me before that I'm her best friend (plus talked amongst her friends about me being her best friend), but I've in the past couple months been feeling very romantically attracted to her.
Initial impression: I've known her since within a week of me being hired at Hardee's in June 2015, so I've known her for about a year now. I saw her every Sunday morning where she would train me as a cashier but I just found her to be oppressively bossy and impatient. Part of that I still find to be true now, but being my first job, I never was very receptive to instruction in the first place so it was just our differences that kept us apart. All I knew about her was that she was adopted from Vietnam when she was two and was Catholic, and I told my parents all about her being my least favorite person at work and I loathed the days when we had to work side by side.
Gaining traction in friendship: As I got somewhat better at my job, she also began to stop being as demanding and we were able to work efficiently to handle the breakfast crowds. She was over-emotional and i was under-emotional, and it seemed to balance out quite nicely. We started to talk a little more but at this point, I still didn't view her as any more special than my other cool co-workers. One day however, as I was in the break room getting ready to leave work for the day, she came into the break room sobbing. I was extremely uncomfortable but knew ignoring it and walking away was the last thing I should do, so I asked her what was wrong. She told me about how she was convinced that her boyfriend was cheating on her with another girl so I sat down with her and talked to her and calmed her down. She thanked me and was able to finish her work shift with no further problems. A couple days later, I was still feeling bothered about it so I messaged her on Facebook asking how she was doing regarding the whole situation. She said she followed my advice and talked to her boyfriend about what she thought and they were able to handle their differences and stay together. Feeling quite accomplished, I felt amazing for over a week afterwards. She later confided in me that she was touched by me actually stopping to care because she knew that no one else at work would've been there for her.
Getting closer: After that, we became pretty much inseparable at work. We looked forward to days that we worked together and
constantly teased each other and developed inside jokes that no one knew about. Customers seeing us messing around behind the counter would smile and say we were cute and accused us of flirting with each other, to which the girl and I would either dismiss or laugh. We knew all about each others irks too. She was obsessively neat so I would undo some of the organizing that she did with sauce packets or little things like that to piss her off. I got several cuss words and slugs in the stomach but they were worth it. She would also say things to me that were obviously incorrect and I would freak out on her and start lecturing her as to why it was incorrect and dictate how she should do things. It was all just fun teasing.
A pivotal moment: One day, while the two of us were working the front registers, the guy on drive thru was in a good mood and kept cracking jokes at other people's expense. Being one of many people to take notice of our shenanigans, he told me something along the lines of, "You should be glad that she flirts with you. It's not like anyone else would [flirt with you] anyway!" I don't remember the context of the joke but I do know that what he said didn't offend me whatsoever and we both just laughed about it. However, she overheard what he said and came running to my aid. She completely chewed him out for talking to me like that. And not only did she not deny us flirting with each other, she even said things along the lines of, "Just because I flirt with him doesn't mean...etc etc" meaning that she was also admitting to it. That guy got the cold shoulder from her for at least four days and just so happened to quit his job within a week (for a different reason, but nevertheless), to which she told me she was glad after that one incident.
The attraction begins: It wasn't long after that when I started having dreams about us together and wanting to be more than just friends. We were always catering to each others emotional needs over social media and the fun at work only got evermore stronger. I began visiting the restaurant on my lunch breaks from my job at Walgreens just so I could say hi and talk to her and we got to a point where every time we would greet or farewell each other was through a hug. She would sneak me insane discounts on food even when I was off shift and I would bring candy over from Walgreens to share with her. Our emotions ran high with each other, like when she yelled at me when I got my most recent traffic ticket. Our privacy ran nigh as well, as we talked to each other about literally
everything without filters. After awhile of me visiting her, she visited me at Walgreens as well, such as sneaking me Starbucks when I told her over break that I was having a bad day at work.
Big recent events: First off, I was the first person she came to when she told me that she was beginning to cut ties with her boyfriend, which excited me to no end as I'd soon find to regret. As April ended and May began, I was also counting down the days to her birthday, but couldn't find or think of any sort of gift deserving of giving her. Unable to find a gift, I decided to visit her at work. After seeing her swooning over a co-worker's friend who was inside the restaurant, I realized I needed to do something drastic. After driving for about ten minutes, I decided to scrap the "deserving gift" idea and go for "sentimental creative gift" Buying several packs of Starburst which I tied together at the base to look like a bouquet of flowers, I snuck my car into the drive thru and stopped in front of the window before sounding my horn multiple times sending all my co-workers in the restaurant running to see what was up. When she opened the window, I handed her the Starburst creation to which she couldn't say much more than, "Oh my gosh" She asked if I would give her a hug, but being in my car that wasn't easy, so she told me to pull forward because I wasn't going to leave until I gave her a hug.
That event basically acted as a x10 multiplier because I can't even believe all the stuff that has gone down in one month's time since then. On May 24, I bought my Ford Crown Victoria police car and paraded it around showing it off. The next day, I stopped by Hardee's to show her the car on my lunch break, but the restaurant was busy and she couldn't find time to look at it before I had to go. Ironically, we were both off from our jobs at 10pm and I work right across the street, so I offered to come back after 10 to show her the car. She added the icing on the cake by asking if I would drive her home in it.
Thus began the wild night of shenanigans and car chases. That night also cemented in a lot of my co-workers minds that there was stuff going on between us outside of work, which really wasn't far from the truth.
The weekend after that wild night, I drove her downtown and took her to the zoo. We went to a couple stores, I went to her house and met her family, and she even fell asleep in my car. After that, she invited me to her graduation party the next weekend. As a socially outcast introvert throughout high school, I had never been to an actual party in my life, so I was extremely nervous. However, when I got there, I discovered that
absolutely none of her friends decided to stick around for the party. The two of us just kinda drifted away from her family who was celebrating their annual summer family get-together on the same day and did our own thing. After chilling and talking on her front porch for a couple hours, where we both fell asleep, I let her drive me around in her car that she was proud of after getting her license a few days prior (to which she kept failing the test until I gave her some pointers and recommended a different DMV to try) and was rather impressed when I saw she was actually using my techniques on the road. After a face-off with some problematic people in the Hardee's parking lot, some tire squeals, and a lot of yelling and blasting music, we ended up back at her house after dark before one of her friends finally came around inviting her over to their place. We hugged in her garage for awhile and I left.
About a week ago, I noticed that her relationship status on Facebook had been changed to "Single". Celebrating like a kid at a birthday party, I knew she was now fair game but also knew she wouldn't stay single for long. I couldn't wait for the next time that I'd see her, which was going to be at work when she came in to take over my morning shift and work into the late evening after I left. However, when she got there, she disappeared into the back and didn't clock in. Busy with the drive thru, but also confused, I wondered what was happening and couldn't go back to check. Before I knew it, my general manager came from the back and told me to take off the drive thru headset and go back to talk to her, saying she was very upset and they knew I'd be the best person for the job. Flattered at the compliment but wondering what I was walking into, I went into the break room. She was sobbing harder than I'd ever seen sitting on the floor leaning on the wall talking to two co-workers about breaking up with her boyfriend. One of them tried to quietly shoo me away but I wanted to help her out if possible, but seeing her in that state was way too much for me and then I started to get upset, so I hurried out. I paced a bit in the back to calm down before making my way back to the front. My GM looked at me and said, "Well? Any luck?" I just kinda shrugged and tried to find a way to make myself busy. I decided to stay overtime until she was calmed down enough to take over my shift, which ended up being about a half hour. I wanted to give anything just to make her feel better, even if it meant getting her back with her boyfriend if that's what it took. She calmed down and we talked about her boyfriend for a few days after. He was leaving her upset with cruel insults and indirect comments to her to the point where she couldn't sleep so she would just drive around in the wee hours of the morning listening to music, which worried me.
Last Sunday, she texted me late in the evening asking if I wanted to hang out. After pulling some strings with my schedule, I got it to work out and I took her to Sonic. Buying chicken and slushes turned into something else. Before I knew it, she'd crawled over into the driver's seat with me and we sat mushed together watching youtube videos and talking for hours until Sonic closed and we had to leave. Not sure where to go next, she looked at me and said, "I want to see your inner speed demon." I kinda gave her a look and told her, "You sure? You know I don't drive crazy with other people in the car." She kept eye contact and said, "I'm sure. I'm ready." I felt chills go up and down my spine when she said that and I could feel a giant grin spreading on my face. She laughed and asked if I was gonna go fast. I stopped at a red light and looked at her, said, "Face forward. Put on some good music. And..." She waited and said, "And what?" "And remain in an upright position." The light turned green and the gas pedal hit the floor. She didn't last very long of course so I went back into mellow driving and instead of taking her home, I drove 35 miles out of the way and we just drove on dark roads for a while. Got her back to her house around 1:30am.
The recent downfall: Literally the next night, I got off work at Walgreens at saw a group of co-workers sitting in the back of a manager's SUV in the Hardee's parking lot. I saw her Volkswagen parked near it so I went over to say hi. After a brief five minutes of verbal exchange, everyone dispersed and I went to Walmart. While looking at installation kits for car radios, I got a call from her and she told me that she was outside parked next to my car. She'd apparently followed me to Walmart unknown to me so I hurried to finish and went outside. She got in my car and we sat there talking for a bit, and then she admitted that not one minute after I left Hardee's, she apparently kissed one of my co-workers in the parking lot. That shut me down for the rest of the night and she noticed. I went home in despair and kept getting texts from her asking if I was okay. She tried to get me to come back out and get Taco Bell with her so we could talk, but I was just confused on what I should do and she said she would ask again the next night. Instead of following through, she made plans with another guy though (she didn't have interest in him, but still), and the next night she cancelled for reasons unknown to me.
Finally, just two nights ago, I opened Facebook. On the very top of my news feed was a post saying that she was back in a relationship with her boyfriend. At this, I was more angry than upset and stopped communicating with her. I'm very well confident that them being together again is a very bad idea and am completely baffled as to why or how this happened (even her sister appears shocked). The next day, I worked from 6:00am to 1:30pm and she worked 3-10, but nevertheless I was scrambling to get out of there before she arrived trying to avoid contact. Of course, right as I get in my car and start the engine, her Volkswagen pulls up right next to my car...over one hour before she is due to start her shift. In a split second decision fueled by anger, I threw my car into reverse and took off out of the lot. Within seconds, I start getting angry texts from her for not saying bye or even acknowledging her. I ignored those texts for about a half hour before starting to feel bad for my brash behavior. I successfully convinced her that I didn't see her car and would've talked to her had I known she was there. I then tried to be adorable by playing a prank in the drive thru about two hours later and telling her that I drove 15 miles back just to say bye to her. I went home still mad however and I felt the rift between us increasing the more time I spent away from her.
It's complicated: Yesterday, I was down in the dumps by the time she arrived at work to take over my shift. After she kept asking what was wrong and I kept dodging, I made up another excuse saying that a co-worker made me mad which she believed. Not feeling any better, she told me that we were meeting for Taco Bell that night. With no intent of making sure our plans followed through, I didn't say anything to her over text reassuring us meeting up, but at 9:50 she sent me a text asking if we were still on tonight. That text made me feel 100x better seeing that she still wanted to hang out with me, so I decided I would go. I met her at Taco Bell and we sat around talking and then fooled around in my car in the parking lot. She's still doing a lot of flirting however. I still felt jittery going home and feeling like I'd been tickled and poked to death.
As for me, I've cut down so much on the flirting that she's convinced something is wrong with me under the skin, which is obviously very right. She still hasn't said anything to me about being back together with her boyfriend, which is strange because she was always very willing and forthcoming about those things before and during their breakup. I pretty much just wrote this so I can see it all in one place and anyone who wants to can give their input on things.
