Well I finally had enough. I was done playing games and walking on eggshells and moonlighting behind people's backs. Wanted to tell her all throughout Saturday when we were hanging out like we always do, but couldn't muster the guts to say anything and didn't know where to start. She knew something was up with me and asked a pivotal question while we were looking at kitties in Petco, "What are we?" Didn't really want to talk about it there, so I dodged it. Fast forward a few hours and we're cuddling in my car in a high school parking lot, and she asks me again. This time, I kinda sorta try to say a little bit, but she and I both know that I don't do well with words on touchy subjects. I tell her I'll go home and send her my thoughts, typed and thought out. She's okay with that so I drop her back at her car and go home. After she gets wind of me having an anxiety attack, she calls me and I keep reassuring her that I'm fine, when in reality my mind is a raging whirlpool as I try to compile my thoughts into words. She falls asleep and I finally send her a wall of text around 2AM. I went into how I'm tired of being a side guy. I wasnt okay with what we did last Saturday. I was tired of hiding from people. Told her that I was fully intending to be her best friend, but told her it probably wasn't a good idea to keep being romantically involved until some decisions are made.
She viewed my message around 4:30am. No response. Dated not minutes after the timestamp, she posted a really ugly rant about how much she hates guys and having her feelings dumped into the garbage disposal. Seeing that, I sent a followup message asking if that was about me. Again, she viewed it. No response. I was onto what she was doing and messaged her again telling her we still need to talk in person once she's cooled down. She was also at work so I wasn't going to keep trying to contact her.
Around 10AM, my phone starts lighting up and she's calling me. Knowing she wasn't supposed to be off work for another 4 hours, I spooked and froze up imagining that she's so mad that my manager is allowing her to call from work. I didn't answer her first call and she called again. This time I grab the phone and answer it. To my surprise, she's totally calm. She informs me that the manager that nobody likes has just been fired and that I'm being promoted to take her place. She caps off before saying goodbye with, "And you're right. We do need to talk."
Felt a little better knowing she was calm, but as the hours ticked by I began getting pressure from anxiety again. She got into contact with me early, saying she got the manager to let her off early and saying she wanted to talk now because she didn't feel like driving all the way home and back to talk later. Within 6 minutes, I'm in my car heading to meet her.
We talked about the problems and she understood all of my points and that I was bothered by all of it. We threw all our options around and weighed the consequences of each. Never really reached a verdict, but we were totally fine with each other within an hour so we drove around visiting historic towns, bought me a knife, and made my car smell like lemon Pez before returning to her car and continuing to hang out until after 10pm.
Then we got to the pivotal talk. Things got way more serious and I straight up told her that although I'm her best friend, she and I both know damn well that everything has been more than that. Once I began to get emotional for the first time ever in front of her, I think that was the realization. She went straight home and told the one dude that it's over between them. I was asleep and missed her text by the time all was said and done, so I just found out this morning. He's allowing her to stay at his house in a separate room until she finds a place of her own, so for once, I have an insurmountable respect for him right now and no bitterness at all (although he obviously has a reason to be bitter to me, and I bet he is).
So now, she's single officially. Things are turning more towards us officially being together, although we may wait a bit on that because I think it'd look pretty bad for her to dump that guy and start a public relationship with me when he was already onto us in the first place. However, the wall is down. I'd probably hex myself by saying it's smooth sailing at least to the established relationship part from here, but it looks like we're in the last chapter.
