I am going to make this short but sweet: It is of vital importance that we highlight all of the problems with Thatguysebi's disruptive histrionics. It is a matter of life and death, a road either to safety or to ruin. That's why I contend that Thatguysebi gets so hot and bothered about every little thing someone says about him that I fully expect him to plunge the whole of Christendom into wars and chaos quicker than you can double-check the spelling of “cinephotomicrography”, so to speak. As I elaborate on that concept throughout this letter I will use only simple words and language so that even a child can understand my message. Yes, even a child should know that for the hundreds of thousands, if not millions, who roam the globe without papers, rights, or citizenship, the crucial issue is not that we fight scurrility and slander. Rather, these stranded souls simply want everyone to acknowledge that you should check out some of the things Thatguysebi is saying about onanism. The litany of inaccuracies, half-truths, made-up “facts”, and downright falsehoods will shock you. And I won't even bother mentioning that Thatguysebi unquestionably believes that black is white and night is day. He has apparently constructed a large superstructure of justifications for this a priori conclusion. I guess that shouldn't be too surprising given that our path is set. By this, I mean that in order to fix our sights on eternity, we must fight for what is right. I consider that requirement a small price to pay because Thatguysebi is just trying to pick a fight. That's why he says that disorderly weasels should be fêted at wine-and-cheese fund-raisers.
For some odd reason, Thatguysebi believes that our unalienable rights are merely privileges that he can dole out or retract. His unasinous adjutants, who believe likewise, also fail to see that the impact of Thatguysebi's fatuous, power-drunk disquisitions is exactly that predicted by the Book of Revelation. Evil will preside over the land. Injustice will triumph over justice, chaos over order, futility over purpose, superstition over reason, and lies over truth. Only when humanity experiences this Hell on Earth will it fully appreciate that many people have been hindering the power of morally crippled junkies like Thatguysebi, which is precisely as it should be.
The following theorem may therefore be established as an eternally valid truth: Not only does Thatguysebi pose a threat to the survival of democracy, but he then commands his disciples, “Go, and do thou likewise.” His bred-in-the-bone belief is that he can absorb mana by devouring his critics' brains. I don't expect ever to convince him otherwise, but I do wish Thatguysebi would simply admit that the vast majority of his cat's-paws have no interest in banishing divisiveness. They would rather stroke their fragile egos, regurgitate meaningless tripe, and sycophantically prostrate themselves before the idiotic dribble that underlies Thatguysebi's bookish, heinous prophecies. He wants us to believe that one day it will be considered cool to cripple his enemies politically, economically, socially, morally, and psychologically. Yes, things will be that way if we choose to believe that. I choose not to believe that. I choose to believe that Thatguysebi is firmly convinced that his codices provide a liberating insight into life, the universe, and everything. His belief is controverted, however, by the weight of the evidence indicating that Thatguysebi should start developing the parts of his brain that have been impaired by militarism. At least then he'll stop trying to kill people and blow people up and attack governments.
The mere mention of Thatguysebi's loathsome name jacks my blood pressure up into dangerous territory. Hard to believe? Then consider the following statement from one of Thatguysebi's peevish apocrisiaries: “You and I are morally inferior to sophomoric parvenus.” Pretty uncontrollable, huh? Well, if Thatguysebi had done his homework, he'd know that a frightening number of people accept his argument that everyone who fails to think and act in strict accordance with his requirements is a nitpicky hophead. In contrast, I prefer to follow, in Robert Frost's words, “the road not taken” and reinvigorate our collective commitment to building and maintaining a sensitive, tolerant, and humane community. As Frost's poem concludes, “and that has made all the difference.” In fact, that “difference” is why I can stand before you and proclaim that Thatguysebi spouts all classes of puffery about his moral vigor. Well, sure, he has somehow found the fortitude to endure our ongoing humiliation and discomfort at the hands of his attendants, but the larger point is that Thatguysebi's hijinks promote a redistribution of wealth. This is always an appealing proposition for Thatguysebi's sycophants because much of the redistributed wealth will undoubtedly end up in the hands of the redistributors as a condign reward for their loyalty to Thatguysebi.
Thatguysebi avouches that he serves as wisdom to the mighty and succor to the brave. Well, I beg to differ. I'm sorry if I've gotten a little off track here, but he sells the supposed merits of faddism on the basis of rhetoric, not evidence. The evidence, however belated, is now in, and the evidence says that Thatguysebi, already oppressive with his egotistical credos, will perhaps be the ultimate exterminator of our human species—if separate species we be—for his reserve of unguessed horrors could never be borne by mortal brains if loosed upon the world. If you think that that's a frightening thought then consider that Thatguysebi maintains not only that he is as innocent as a newborn lamb but also that honor counts for nothing. He's wrong on all counts. In reality, Thatguysebi holds onto power like the eunuch mandarins of the Forbidden City—sterile obstacles to progress who outrage the very sensibilities of those who value freedom and fairness.
Thatguysebi doesn't want me to put him on notice for his attempts to lead to the destruction of the human race. Well, I've never been a very obedient dog so I intend not only to do exactly that but also to illustrate the virtues that Thatguysebi lacks—courage, truthfulness, courtesy, honesty, diligence, chivalry, loyalty, and industry. To borrow the immortal words of a certain, well-known authority figure, “Letting Thatguysebi reduce human beings and many other living organisms to engineered products and mere cogs in the social machine is tantamount to cutting your own wrist with a razor blade.” The randy colonialism I've been writing about is not primarily the fault of louche rotters, nor of the lackadaisical smut peddlers who slander those who are most systematically undervalued, underpaid, underemployed, underfinanced, underinsured, underrated, and otherwise underserved and undermined as undeserving and underclass. It is the fault of Thatguysebi.
Here's a purely hypothetical situation: Let's say you were an overbearing conspiracy theorist who believes that wars end only when a goodhearted, newly enlightened tyrant heeds the advice of transnational peace activists. Wouldn't you then at least consider the option of imposing a particular curriculum, vision of history, and method of pedagogy on our school systems? I ask because Thatguysebi has written more than his fair share of lengthy, overworded, pseudo-intellectual tripe. In all such instances he conveniently overlooks the fact that too many sordid, noxious insurrectionists out there are looking for the quick and easy fix, for a great savior who will make it all right again so they can go back to sleep. They gather at the foot of the mount to herald the coming of Thatguysebi and neglect to notice that honest people will admit that a critical reevaluation of some of Thatguysebi's tracts would sincerely be beneficial. Concerned people are not afraid to oppose evil wherever it rears its foolish head. And sensible people know that Thatguysebi has been trying desperately to convince us that taxpayers are a magic purse that never runs out of gold. These juvenile attempts at suasion are basically a bald admission that Thatguysebi is planning on basking in the neo-disrespectful shine of sensationalism one of these days.
Thatguysebi has made it known that he fully intends to permit inattentive schmendriks to rise to positions of leadership and authority. If those words don't scare you, nothing will. If they are not a clear warning, I don't know what could be.
I'm willing to accept that it would please Thatguysebi greatly to malign and traduce me. I'm even willing to accept that his pals compress his ideas into brief, highly reductive, definitive-sounding phrases, easily memorized and easily expressed. But he doesn't simply want people to believe that the federal government should take more and more of our hard-earned money and more and more of our hard-won rights. He wants this belief drummed into people's heads from birth. He wants it to be accepted as an axiom, an assumed part of the nature of reality. Only then will Thatguysebi truly be able to get away with pilfering the national treasure. Due to his repeated insistence that he has a “special” perspective on irrationalism that carries with it a “special” right to organize a troika of sick-minded blaggards, doolally fainéants, and socially inept traitors with the sole purpose of galvanizing the xenophobic herd into enthusiastically supporting his effrontive homilies, many self-deluded mendicants have come to accept such asininity as undisputed truth. What should remain arguable settles into surety. Having lost their faculty for critical thinking, such people cannot comprehend that Thatguysebi's barbs will have consequences—very serious consequences. We ought to begin doing something about that. We ought to advocate concrete action and specific quantifiable goals. We ought to spread the word that I am entirely shocked and angered by his spineless improprieties. Such shameful conduct should never be repeated.
I, speaking as someone who is not a jealous loafer, have grown tired of watching the repeated handshakes and toothy smiles in front of television cameras and subsequently learning that nothing has truly changed. As always, in Thatguysebi's stratagems, demagogism is witting and unremitting, impractical and unimaginative. He revels in it, rolls in it, and uses it to marginalize me based on my gender, race, or religion. Shame on Thatguysebi for thinking that people like you and me are acerbic! He likes to brag about how the members of his coalition of illiberal exhibitionists and amoral criminal masterminds are ideologically diverse. Perhaps that means that some of them prefer Stalin over Riddler. In any case, Thatguysebi occasionally writes letters accusing me and my friends of being unsavory, postmodernist hopheads. These letters are typically couched in gutter language (which is doubtless the language in which Thatguysebi habitually thinks) and serve no purpose other than to convince me that he is like a magician who produces a dove in one hand while the other hand is vilifying our history, character, values, and traditions. Thus, in summing up, we can establish the following: 1) Thatguysebi is Lucifer in the flesh, and 2) it is beyond comprehension that he can be so ignorant about the emotional and physical trauma brought on by his delivering the atrocities of negativism to the world. Also, forget sebi park, i never said stuff about it yeet
So, with that being said, I now ban thatguysebi from this ablanian forum that i hate but refuse to leave.
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