The Deal: Revisited [History Repeats Itself]

[Refticus]

give money to the mime for his incredible performance

[Ad Bot]

[Space1255]

Finish delivering letters

[cromartini]

Wait the security guard is a woman ?
Ditch the group and hit on the security guard.

[tber123]

> PAY THE MIME FOR HIS AMAZING PERFORMANCE

You pull the car up next to the mime and hand him a fat stack of dollar bills. The mime, still panicking, hands the money back and points behind him, before miming the act of drawing a gun and shooting it between your eyes. The mime then starts waving his arms frantically.

> HAVE THE SQUAD™ LEAVE THE GUNS IN THE CAR BEFORE ROCKETTE-KICK-LINING INTO THE BUILDING AND DELIVERING THE NOTES

Your companions leave their weapons in the car, step out, jump over the gate, pick up the letters, link arms, and Rockette-kick their way into the building, doing your work for you. A few senior citizens watching the performance are amused.

> LEAVE YOUR GUNS IN THE CAR

Done. You still have your entrepreneur  staff since it's collapsible and easily concealed, and isn't a gun.

> GO TO THE SECURITY GUARDS BOOTH

You exit the car, head to the booth, and spot the security guard still on her headphones as she reads through a novel. The security guard finally looks up, takes off the headphones, and stares at you.

> HIT ON SECURITY GUARD

You try remember your best pickup line that you've used before for hitting on security guards. What was it again? You're having a little trouble remembering it.

> _

As a reminder, your party contains the manager of the Roboloveual Wrangler, the man with a red baseball cap, the overweight guy, a geek known as Jimmy with a weird headset, and Jimmy's drone that looks like a mishmash of a tank and a spider.

Your inventory contains a silver, expandable entrepreneur  staff, phone, hammer, some string, a magnet, a magazine called The Manly Man's Guide to Surviving the Apocalypse, a movie poster for BRUTALITY, an article about Protagonist Syndrome, a wallet with several hundred dollars, and a nuclear authentication disk.

You are wearing regular civilian clothes that make you look like an average guy, a Rolex watch, and a gas mask.

You are moderately wounded.


>

[bobbygordon4]

Say 'Ayy bby, did you fall from heaven, because so did satan.' Then grab the Staff and shove it down her throat.

[Space1255]

Don't do that
Check what notes still need to be delivered.

[tber123]

> WHAT NOTES STILL NEED TO BE DELIVERED

No need to worry. Your companions are already delivering the letters for you, remember?

> SAY HEY BABY DID YOU FALL FROM HEAVEN BECAUSE SO DID SATAN

"Ey, baby." You say in a smooth, slick tone of voice. "Did you fall from heaven? Because so did Satan."

The security guard replies "I'm a happily married woman, dude."

> SHOVE entrepreneur  STAFF DOWN HER THROAT

You reach into the booth and try to shove your almighty entrepreneur  staff down the security guard's throat, but she slaps the staff out of your hands with her novel, reaches for a can of pepper spray, and sprays it into your eyes, blinding you. A scream of pain rises from your throat as your hands involuntarily shoot towards your eyes, trying to get the pepper spray out of them. While you're distracted and blinded, the security guard exits the booth, runs up towards you, and delivers a powerful kick between your legs. The pain gets even more intense, causing you to collapse to the floor. The security guard then proceeds to tase you a few times before smacking you in the back of the head with a baton, causing you to instantly black out.

When you wake up a few hours later, everything immediately feels wrong. You're lying in a puddle of something wet that you hope isn't what you think it is. Something wet is also falling on you from above, and everything is very, very dark. Your clothes are extremely wet, and you feel very, very cold.

> STAND UP AND OBSERVE SURROUNDINGS

Dark clouds have blotted out the entire sky, making nearly everything pitch black. The only light in the world is coming from the retirement home at the moment. It's raining heavily, and the distant rumble of incoming thunder is audible. Your companions are nowhere to be seen.

North: You remember that there are a bunch of trees and hills and a golf course around here, but you can't see them in the darkness.

South: More trees and hills, from what you remember. There should be a cabin out on the hills somewhere. Still too dark to see stuff.

West: The road you just took to get to the retirement home. You cannot see the mime standing in the road anymore, assuming that he's still here. To the far west should be a motel, and further to the west should be the rest of Dangernon.

East: The retirement home. It's all that you can see properly in the dark.

> CHECK SECURITY BOOTH

You move over to the security booth. The security guard is gone, and your entrepreneur  staff is still on the desk from when she knocked it out of your hands.

> TAKE BACK entrepreneur  STAFF

Done. As you grab the entrepreneur  staff, a flash of brilliant lightning suddenly illuminates your surroundings. You see several mimes a few yards away, standing on the road leading to the retirement home. All of them are heading straight towards you.


> _

Your inventory contains a silver, expandable entrepreneur  staff, phone, hammer, some string, a magnet, a magazine called The Manly Man's Guide to Surviving the Apocalypse, a movie poster for BRUTALITY, an article about Protagonist Syndrome, a wallet with several hundred dollars, and a nuclear authentication disk.

You are wearing regular civilian clothes that make you look like an average guy, a Rolex watch, and a gas mask.

You are badly wounded. Everything is wet and cold from the heavy rain. You might catch a cold later on.


>

[Space1255]

Set up an invisible wall and shoot an invisible gun into the air as a warning shot.

[tber123]

> PLANT AN INVISIBLE WALL AND FIRE AN INVISIBLE WARNING SHOT

You've been trained to deal with this moment from childhood. Your grandmother was always obsessed with teaching you the art of mime-to-mime combat, and now it'll pay off. You mime the act of building an invisible wall, and then you fire a finger gun into the air. The invisible bullet soars high into the air.... And then it starts coming down back towards the ground. What goes up, must come down.

You see one of the mimes pantomiming the act of a bullet smashing through his head and splattering his brains all over the sidewalk. Another mime rushes over to his fallen comrade, silently wails towards the sky in despair, points at you, and draws a finger across his throat. The rest of the mimes pull out invisible machine guns strapped to their backs and open fire on your invisible wall, quickly tearing it into pieces and leaving you exposed.

The mimes pause to reload their invisible guns after they completely destroy the wall. Meanwhile, a second flash of lightning lights up your surroundings, and you can clearly see that these mimes are different. Instead of the standard black hat and black striped shirt from the first mime that tried to warn you, these guys are wearing red hats and red stripes on their shirts.

> _

Your inventory contains a silver, expandable entrepreneur  staff, phone, hammer, some string, a magnet, a magazine called The Manly Man's Guide to Surviving the Apocalypse, a movie poster for BRUTALITY, an article about Protagonist Syndrome, a wallet with several hundred dollars, and a nuclear authentication disk.

You are wearing regular civilian clothes that make you look like an average guy, a Rolex watch, and a gas mask.

You are badly wounded. Everything is wet and cold from the heavy rain. You might catch a cold later on.


>

[Refticus]

put a note saying "ey bby what's ur league account so we can fuk" on the security post.

then bring out the banana peel in your pocket to attract the clown federation, the mime's worst enemy.

[cromartini]

Reply to them in mime, "This means war"
Then mimic one of those fancy rocket launchers with 20 barrells.

[Space1255]

Mime a nuclear missile

[NotBomberguy]

love security gaurd

[bobbygordon4]

Pull out a imaginary flare minigun and turn all the mimes into a fine red mist.

[tber123]

> MIME A NUKE

You mime the act of calling in a nuclear missile. The nuclear missile explodes, and everyone, yourself included, immediately starts miming the act of getting vaporized or dying horribly from radiation poisoning. Then a heart attack kills them all for real.

In your last few moments of life, you curse the fact that mime-to-mime combat makes everything real to the victim if they're aware of what mime-to-mime combat is. Anyone not knowing the dark art of mime-to-mime combat would have been unaffected.

*** You've been vaporized. GAME OVER. ***

If you're killed in the Mimetrix, you die for real here. Knowledge like that would have been useful to have before it was too late.

Reloading autosave...

> STATE THAT THIS MEANS WAR IN MIME SPEAK

Using the ancient, unknown ability of sign language, you form the words "This means war" to the mimes. With your expert hand gestures. The mimes simply reply with middle fingers defiantly raised into the air.

> MIMIC A TWENTY BARRELLED ROCKET LAUNCHER

You whip out an imaginary rocket launcher.

> BOOM BOOM

You fire all twenty barrels from the invisible rocket launcher, causing several mimes to mimic the act of getting blasted into tiny pieces. The remaining mimes all band together and build a giant, invisible wall.

> WHIP OUT A IMAGINARY FLARE MINIGUN AND LET IT RIP

Your invisible flare minigun quickly sets the invisible wall on fire, burning it to the ground. The mimes panic and start spraying invisible bullets in your general direction as you start melting them all with the flares. A lucky shot hits the flare minigun right in a vital area, immediately disabling it. You toss the broken invisible flare minigun away.

> PUT A STICKY NOTE ON THE SECURITY GUARD POST

You turn around and place a sticky note on the security guard's booth for her to find when she comes back.

> ASK FOR love AND THE SECURITY GUARDS LEAGUE OF LEGENDS ACCOUNT ON THE NOTE

You write down "Ey bby what's your league account so we can fuk???" on the sticky note.

> love SECURITY GUARD

You have zero chance to hit that. Zero chance to hit both because the security guard is disgusted by you, and because you can't hit what ain't there. As you ponder about how to have love with something that isn't physically there, you see a random banana peel.

> SUMMON THE CLOWN FEDERATION WITH A NEARBY BANANA PEEL ON THE FLOOR

You grab the banana peel off the floor and perform the Super Secret Clown Summoning Ritual™, which is something that non-clowns are not allowed to do without getting their asses devoured by legions of angry lawyers. A horde of clowns and lawyers immediately appear on the horizon, and the mimes start putting up invisible walls in terror before uselessly firing upon the clowns with invisible miniguns. Since the clowns and lawyers don't know the art of mime-to-mime combat, they're unaffected. The clowns and lawyers simply jump over the walls, surround the mimes, beat them senseless, and send them running home, silently crying for mama all the way.

Then they turn their attention towards you. The lawyers and clowns start charging at you while shouting things related to lawsuits, courtrooms, and being in deep stuff.

> _

Your inventory contains a silver, expandable entrepreneur  staff, phone, hammer, some string, a magnet, a magazine called The Manly Man's Guide to Surviving the Apocalypse, a movie poster for BRUTALITY, an article about Protagonist Syndrome, a wallet with several hundred dollars, and a nuclear authentication disk.

You are wearing regular civilian clothes that make you look like an average guy, a Rolex watch, and a gas mask.

You are badly wounded. Everything is wet and cold from the heavy rain. You might catch a cold later on.


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