The Deal: Revisited [History Repeats Itself]

[cromartini]

You know... I think we quite forgeted up...
Can we reset the mission, and do EVERYTHING again untill the point where we notice a lovebot and NOT have love with her ?

[Ad Bot]

[Blue Screen]

START LOOKING TO SEE WHICH IDIOT LEFT THE KEYS IN THEIR CAR

[tber123]

> CAN WE RESTART NOW AND NOT forget THE loveBOT

No.

> PLEASE

No.

> WHY

Things would come to this way even without having love with the pleasure bot, and it wouldn't be as fun or interesting if you could just deliver packages without something going horribly wrong.

> GO INTO THE MIST AND TASTE IT

You start rushing into the mist and trying to eat it. You start coughing and spasming violently as you inhale the mist, which feels like it is toothpaste and orange juice flavored. This mist is extremely toxic to breathe in without a gas mask, and you start feeling intensely sick. You collapse to the floor and vomit violently while still convulsing violently. Intense hunger overcomes you, and you suddenly regain your strength.

Your party members standing outside of the mist look awfully tasty now... And it's all you can focus on. You start shambling towards your former friends, desperate to take a bite out of them. Your friends start screaming out "ZOMBIE!" as they proceed to fill you full of lead, causing your head to pop like a balloon.

*** You have been zombified. GAME OVER. ***
Dumb ways to die
So many dumb ways to die
Dumb ways to di-ie-ie
So many dumb ways to die
RESTORE, RESTART, QUIT?

> RESTORE AND FIND A CAR WITH A KEYS IN IT

You quickly look at the abandoned cars while using your phone as a flashlight, trying to see which idiot left the keys in the car. None of the cars in the immediate area have keys inside them! You could check the cars that are closer to the mist (and the constant shouts of "TEKELI-LI!"), since you probably have enough time to check before either the mist overtakes you or the abominations spot you. Car headlights are visible in the group of cars near the mist, and you can hear an engine running. You could also go in the opposite direction of the mist and check the cars there, but who knows if they'll have keys or not?

Seems like you'll have to either take the risk or play it safe. Or you could simply split up a few of your more expendable party members and have them go investigate the car with the headlights on while everyone else checks for another car in the safer direction.

> _

As a reminder, your party contains the M60-toting manager of the Roboloveual Wrangler, the man with a red baseball cap who packs a improvised flamethrower, a man with a machine pistol, a man with a sawn-off shotgun, the overweight guy with a revolver-style grenade launcher, a geek known as Jimmy with a weird headset, and Jimmy's drone that looks like a mishmash of a tank and a spider.

Your inventory contains a silver, expandable entrepreneur  staff, M79 Grenade Launcher, RPG-7, ZTK-501 Plasma Rifle, phone, hammer, some string, a magnet, a magazine called The Manly Man's Guide to Surviving the Apocalypse, a movie poster for BRUTALITY, an article about Protagonist Syndrome, a bunch of gas masks, and a wallet with several hundred dollars.

You are wearing regular civilian clothes that make you look like an average guy, a Rolex watch, and a bowler hat. Your clothes are absolutely soaked in blood.

You are badly wounded. Some bruises and minor bleeding here and there.

The Deal: Revisited is also on the Forum Games Discord.

>

[Space1255]

Split up

[cromartini]

Pull a gas mask out of your ass.
Get it ?
GET IT !?
ITS A FART JOKE, DO YOU GET IT !?

[NotBomberguy]

finish the game in .5 a presses
build up speed for 12 hours
but first talk about parallel universes

[tber123]

> TALK ABOUT PARALLEL UNIVERSES TO THE OTHERS

You discuss the possibility of parallel universes to the others in your party. They briefly consider your profound statements, and then turn their attention back to the cries of "TEKELI-LI!" getting closer and closer.

> FINISH GAME IN .5 PRESSES

What?

> BUILD UP SPEED FOR 12 HOURS

What??

> PULL OUT A "GAS" MASK FROM YOUR ASS

I totally didn't see that fart joke coming, buddy. You whip out the gas mask from the deepest depths of your star fish and put it on.

> EQUIP GAS MASK AND GIVE THE SPARES TO PARTY

Done. You are now immune to the mysterious mist. Or at least very resistant to it. It's hard to tell until it's too late.

> SEND OUT MACHINE PISTOL GUY AND SAWN OFF GUY TO GO DIE IN THE MIST WHILE THE REST OF US GO THE OTHER DIRECTION

Wisely deciding to split up, you send the two generic guys with machine pistols and sawn off shotguns to go investigate the car headlights in the mist. If they get killed by the abominations, it's no loss. If they actually find a working car and bring it over, then you can get the hell out of here. Either way, you're benefitting from this.

> CHECK CARS IN OPPOSITE DIRECTION OF MIST

Everyone accompanying you rushes over to the cars further away from the mist, looking for an idiot that left the keys in the ignition. Five minutes later, and you can't find a single moron that left the keys in the car.

What a shame.

Gunfire suddenly rings out in the direction of the mist, followed by the screams of the two meatshields you sent out to investigate. The screaming and gunfire eventually stops, and all you can hear is "TEKELI-LI!" over and over now.

What a shame.

> _

As a reminder, your party contains the M60-toting manager of the Roboloveual Wrangler, the man with a red baseball cap who packs a improvised flamethrower, the overweight guy with a revolver-style grenade launcher, a geek known as Jimmy with a weird headset, and Jimmy's drone that looks like a mishmash of a tank and a spider.

Your inventory contains a silver, expandable entrepreneur  staff, M79 Grenade Launcher, RPG-7, ZTK-501 Plasma Rifle, phone, hammer, some string, a magnet, a magazine called The Manly Man's Guide to Surviving the Apocalypse, a movie poster for BRUTALITY, an article about Protagonist Syndrome, and a wallet with several hundred dollars.

You are wearing regular civilian clothes that make you look like an average guy, a Rolex watch, a gas mask, and a bowler hat. Your clothes are absolutely soaked in blood.

You are badly wounded. Some bruises and minor bleeding here and there.

The Deal: Revisited is also on the Forum Games Discord.

>

[Refticus]

did we loving stutter??
build up speed for 12 hours to travel into parallel universes and activate the secret scuttlebug technique so we can beat the game in 0.5 a presses

[Space1255]

did we loving stutter??
build up speed for 12 hours to travel into parallel universes and activate the secret scuttlebug technique so we can beat the game in 0.5 a presses

We need to be QPU aligned first and consider our de facto speed too

[Dragonslayer182]

Eat one of the m79's grenades

[failbros2]

build up speed for 12 hours
but first talk about parallel universes

do it again, russian style

[tber123]

> EAT A WHOLE M79 GRENADE WITHOUT ANY MILK

You take a 40mm grenade out of the m79 and shove the whole thing into your mouth before swallowing. It's a horrible mix of something metallic and powdery, and you immediately vomit it out at high speed. The projectile vomit-cum-grenade flies into the gasoline tank of an abandoned oil tanker on the other side of the freeway and creates a huge explosion that would make Michael Bay climax on the spot. It's pretty bright, too. Now your eyes are metaphorically stabbing themselves in an attempt to punish you for staring at a bright explosion at night.

> BUILD UP SPEED FOR TWELVE HOURS

How?

> I DON'T KNOW RUN AROUND IN CIRCLES

You run around in circles while your companions stare at you. Ignorant fools. They clearly don't know about your true power.

The mist starts getting closer yet again, and so do the cries of "TEKELI-LI!"

> KEEP RUNNING starfish

While your companions slowly back away from the mist, you continue running in circles, undeterred by the approaching danger. You've been running in circles for about fifteen minutes now, and the mist is surrounding you. Your gas mask protects you for now.

"TEKELI-LI!" The shouts sound like they are only a few feet away from you. You can't see a thing in the mist, though.

> RUN FAM RUN

Still undeterred, you keep running in circles while your companions keep running from the mist. You hear a ghastly chorus of "TEKELI-LI!", this time sounding like it's right next to you. You look around yourself as you continue running in circles and see several massive protoplasmic blobs around you, constantly reshaping themselves. Eyes keep forming and disappearing all over the blobs. You can clearly see that the abominations are pissed, and glaring right at you. The stench from the blobs is unbearable, and you have to resist the urge to vomit.

> CLEARLY WE NEED TO SLAV-SQUAT AND THEN RUN IN CIRCLES TO GET EVEN MORE SPEED

Quickly breaking into a squat and making sure not to identify yourself as a western spy, you start running awkwardly while trying to maintain a squat. The eldritch abominations surrounding you have had enough of your presence, and you quickly find yourself under attack. A nearby abomination suddenly grows a pair of blob-arms and slaps you senseless with them, while another monster lunges at you, grabs you, and slams you to the ground. Your bowler hat goes flying off of your head and rolls into the protoplasmic masses, where it is quickly absorbed and never to be seen again.

You just can't stop losing your damn bowler hats, can you?

> _

As a reminder, your party contains the M60-toting manager of the Roboloveual Wrangler, the man with a red baseball cap who packs a improvised flamethrower, the overweight guy with a revolver-style grenade launcher, a geek known as Jimmy with a weird headset, and Jimmy's drone that looks like a mishmash of a tank and a spider.

Your inventory contains a silver, expandable entrepreneur  staff, M79 Grenade Launcher, RPG-7, ZTK-501 Plasma Rifle, phone, hammer, some string, a magnet, a magazine called The Manly Man's Guide to Surviving the Apocalypse, a movie poster for BRUTALITY, an article about Protagonist Syndrome, and a wallet with several hundred dollars.

You are wearing regular civilian clothes that make you look like an average guy, a Rolex watch, and a gas mask. Your clothes are absolutely soaked in blood.

You are very badly wounded. Bruises everywhere and some minor bleeding here and there.

The Deal: Revisited is also on the Forum Games Discord.

>

[Space1255]

Release your built speed and sprint off in the opposite direction of the mist. It isn't what we wanted but it'll do.

[tber123]

> RUN AWAY FROM MIST

You try to run out of the mist, but the protolasmic blobs surrounding you continue to block the way. You run face-first into a blob and bounce off of it, losing all of the speed you built up.

> SCREAM FOR COMPANIONS TO GET BACK HERE AND HELP

You call for your companions, asking them to get back here and mow down the blobs. They put on gas masks and charge back into the mist, and then you hear the sound of various weapons being locked and loaded. You should probably, you know, get down? Friendly fire is a real thing, you know.

> LIE DOWN

Bullets fly, blobs are shot into swiss cheese, explosions light up the night, and you see an opening in their ranks.

> CRAWL THROUGH OPENING AND REJOIN COMPANIONS

You quickly crawl through the opening and run back to the safety of your companions as they continue blasting away at the protoplasmic blobs, taking them down with concentrated fire before they can regenerate.

> ASK IF THEY FOUND A WORKING CAR

"Nope! No working cars in that direction, either! The only working car must be the one really deep into the mist!" The manager replies.

> POWER THROUGH THE BLOBS

You lead a triumphant charge through the blobs, with everyone letting out a battle cry as they plow through the opposition like a steamroller. Pieces of blobs go scattering in all directions as the overweight man scores direct hits with his grenade launcher, the man in the red baseball cap burns some blobs to a crisp just fine, and Jimmy's drone punches and kicks the blobs with enough force to splatter them.

You eventually see car headlights penetrating through the mist as blob after blob falls to the combined firepower of your entire party! You keep pushing and pushing through until you finally reach the working car, and then you see the corpses of the two guys you sent out sitting in the front seats.

> DRIVE THE HELL OUT OF HERE

Shoving the corpses of the two unlucky bastards out of the car, your entire party gets in. You take the wheel and slam on the gas pedal, leaving the surviving blobs behind. Driving on an empty freeway at full speed with absolutely no traffic getting in the way is exhilarating, to say the least. You could do this all day, but you've got a safehouse in Texas to drive to.

> KEEP GOING SOUTH

You keep driving south towards Texas until the man in the red baseball cap tells you to make a left turn. After making a left turn, you continue driving until you discover a two-story house in the middle of nowhere, on the outskirts of Texas. A massive satellite dish stands next to the house.

"This ain't no ordinary house." The man in the red baseball cap says. "This was the abandoned missile silo my uncle gave me in his will. We can hide underground in the bunker if we need to. The house was built right on top of the silo itself, so nobody will suspect a thing. Make yourself at home."

> _

As a reminder, your party contains the M60-toting manager of the Roboloveual Wrangler, the man with a red baseball cap who packs a improvised flamethrower, the overweight guy with a revolver-style grenade launcher, a geek known as Jimmy with a weird headset, and Jimmy's drone that looks like a mishmash of a tank and a spider.

Your inventory contains a silver, expandable entrepreneur  staff, M79 Grenade Launcher, RPG-7, ZTK-501 Plasma Rifle, phone, hammer, some string, a magnet, a magazine called The Manly Man's Guide to Surviving the Apocalypse, a movie poster for BRUTALITY, an article about Protagonist Syndrome, and a wallet with several hundred dollars.

You are wearing regular civilian clothes that make you look like an average guy, a Rolex watch, and a gas mask. Your clothes are absolutely soaked in blood.

You are very badly wounded. Bruises everywhere and some minor bleeding here and there.

The Deal: Revisited is also on the Forum Games Discord.

>

[Space1255]

What state are we currently in