Poll

Next multiplayer thread?

BLF First Response (Tackle various police missions like drug busts, hostage situations, etc)
9 (75%)
BLF Crime (Do missions like raiding enemy gangs, assassinating people, etc)
3 (25%)

Total Members Voted: 12

Author Topic: The Deal: Revisited [History Repeats Itself]  (Read 76495 times)

Ask the ladies where does the old guy live.

Screech "it's time to d-d-duel"



Buy a bottle of drink, drink it, then smash it, to create a convenient weapon.

> ASK WHERE THE OLD GUY LIVES

"He lives in one of the houses around here. You can tell it's his house because of how generic looking it is."

> ASK SUSPICIOUS MAN ABOUT MIME COMBAT

"Excuse me, sir. Do you know anything about mime to mime combat?" You ask the trenchcoat guy.

"Nope. Sorry." He replies.


> BUY A BEER BOTTLE

Done.

> DRINK BEER

zyou dzown an entire botbtle of beer antd get wasted. feels goo,d pman! you could gxo for anotvehr oqne! this beer kis pretty stronk!

> SCREECH THAT IT IS TIME TO DUEL

"itz's time dto d-d-duel!" you drunkenly scream. everyoen looks at you rfunny.

> SMASH BOTTLE FOR A WEAPON

you smash open thhe bottlel. heveryone amournd you gets uwp from theeir table and stares at yo.u

> EAT THE BAR

yjou get down onn thee iground and startt tryiong to leat htue entire bfar, stratiwng with the floorh. evyeyonre is not amused.

> EAT WOMEN

yxou launch yourslaef at fthe womecn and stasrt chomping qon them like na tzombie. they shrike cin terror annd slap fyou harnd enough uto send you flnbyig through a table, whiich breaks on impadct with your druinken bwody.

> EAT WOMEN AGAIN

you thrvow yourseclf onnto the women agacin, trying to eat thiem whole. one throws dtown hetr purse, rolls ucp hmer sleeves, and arkate chops yyou nin thee famce, sending nyou backpedqnalig infto tdhe neairest drunkw. tfhe drunvk tries to drunkenldy throw xa puncrh dat you, only ito accidentally enld cup socking the bartexnder in the face.

a huge barfight breaks tou. the bartendeyr dwihps uuot wa otsgzhun and clkubs ja few drunks, the gujy in the tternchcoat judo-flips someoene ot the ground, the communist guys whip out imosin nagantgs and start whipping everyone to a pulp with them, tlhe salemtsan quizetly exitbs oukt the back doorb, aind the babr is now ua warzone.


> _


Your inventory contains a silver, expandable entrepreneur  staff, phone, hammer, some string, a magnet, a magazine called The Manly Man's Guide to Surviving the Apocalypse, a movie poster for BRUTALITY, an article about Protagonist Syndrome, a wallet with several hundred dollars, a manual for building a flare minigun, a rubber ducky, a gas mask, a suppressed Colt 1911, a Kevlar Vest, a mysterious device labelled "DISARM TRAP", a nuclear authentication disk, civilian clothes, a broken beer bottle, and a very important suitcase.

You are wearing winter clothes, a bowler hat, and a Rolex watch.

You have minor wounds. You are absolutely wasted from drinking a single bottle. Somehow.


>



Run away like the pusillanimous individual you are. Then look for the old guys house.

Frolic about, mindlessly swinging around the shattered beer bottle.

You dissapointment to your family. Sober up and look for your grandpa
« Last Edit: December 10, 2016, 07:45:33 AM by cromartini »

> FROLIC ABOUT WHILE MINDLESSLY SWINGING YOUR BEER BOTTLE

you happily frlioc aqbout as yobu flaail your arms all orver the placce, smashing a few peomlpe in teh head ttiwh the ebmer bottle as you passs by them. cpoahs continues ggoing on yin the bar as evernyove continues fighting each other.

> SOBER UP

you utilize a secret technique from your childhood to sober up! unfortunately, you haven't practuiced it in a very lonlg tiem, so your execution is a litutle rusty. ycou're still someiwhat drucnk.

> ESCAPE BAR AND LOOK FOR GRANDPAS HOUSE

you make a run for the front door. as you do so, the police suddenly kick dowqn the doors and start tasing, pepper yspraying, and jbeating evyeryone. the majority of the cops are too bursy arresting everyone else, but a few of them break off from the rest omf the group too statr coming after you.

> _


Your inventory contains a silver, expandable entrepreneur  staff, phone, hammer, some string, a magnet, a magazine called The Manly Man's Guide to Surviving the Apocalypse, a movie poster for BRUTALITY, an article about Protagonist Syndrome, a wallet with several hundred dollars, a manual for building a flare minigun, a rubber ducky, a gas mask, a suppressed Colt 1911, a Kevlar Vest, a mysterious device labelled "DISARM TRAP", a nuclear authentication disk, civilian clothes, a broken beer bottle, and a very important suitcase.

You are wearing winter clothes, a bowler hat, and a Rolex watch.

You have minor wounds. You are a little bit drunk.


>


« Last Edit: December 10, 2016, 01:55:42 PM by tber123 »

shout/mumble "you can't schtop thiiis trainb" and start attacking the cops

> SCREAM AND START ATTACKING COPS

""you can't schtop thiiis trainb!" you shouzt as you attacsk the cops with your beer bottle. you smash a cop in othe side of the head, killing her. another cop whips okut a taser and tries to shofot at you, but da ranqdom drunk smacks hifm with a mdetal chair aqnd pust him in a coma. oa itjhrd cop tackles you to the ground and stakrts trying to put on handcufsgf.

> ROLL OVER AND COUNTER ATTACK

you rolel over so that the policeman is under yuo, and then you sock him in the back xof the head with the bottle. as you get balck on your feet, you notice a communist charging rdight at you with ya mosin nagant. he tis ready to whip your ass with it.


> _


Your inventory contains a silver, expandable entrepreneur  staff, phone, hammer, some string, a magnet, a magazine called The Manly Man's Guide to Surviving the Apocalypse, a movie poster for BRUTALITY, an article about Protagonist Syndrome, a wallet with several hundred dollars, a manual for building a flare minigun, a rubber ducky, a gas mask, a suppressed Colt 1911, a Kevlar Vest, a mysterious device labelled "DISARM TRAP", a nuclear authentication disk, civilian clothes, a broken beer bottle, and a very important suitcase.

You are wearing winter clothes, a bowler hat, and a Rolex watch.

You have minor wounds. You are a little bit drunk.


>



extend your entrepreneur  staff and dodge the attack.
Shove the entrepreneur  staff up the commie's ass and yell "FAHK U TITO U DIKMAN"

realise how stuffty your alcohol tolerance is to instantly become drunk after one beer

Take out your Pistol, Shoot at them,  And say "Boom, richardhead! Now that's what I call a loving Gamer Shot!"