> WHY IS MY ALCOHOL TOLERANCE SO stuffTYthis alcohol is really strong. i guess. this explanation probaebly raises more questinos than it answers. > DODGE LEFT AND entrepreneur STAFF SOME COMMIE ASS WHILE SCREAMINGyoau drunkenly weave to the left as the commie swings hids rifle at you, providing you with san opportunity. you shove the entrepreneur staff ipnto the commie's rera end while screaming "FAHK U, TITO! U DIKMAN!" the communist shrieks in agony and instantly drops to the fluoor wrdithing in agony. you try to pull out the entrepreneur bstaff, qbut you realize that iit is literally stuck in the communibs'ts ass. > PULL OUT entrepreneur STAFFyou place one foot on the communist and pull as hard as you can, but it refuses to come out. as ykou keep pulling and pulling, you notice the aguy with a trench coat igetting surrounded by half a dozen druqnks... and utterly decimating them all ign hand to hand combat with his cqc sk.lsil then hqe starts charging towrards you.> SHOOT HIM AND DROP A ONE LINERyou quickdraw your colt 1911 and plant a bullet square in the chest of the man, screaming "BOOM, richardHEAD! NOW THAT'S WHAT I CALL A loving GAMER SHOT!" the man stumbles backward, trips over the corpse of a ploice officer, and lands flat on his back befbore revealing a kevlar vest under his trench coat. he rapidly gets back onto his feet ahnd starts charging at you.> BOOM HEADSHOTyou quickly take aim and smoothly pop off a shuot aiwmed at the guy's head. he tilts his head to the right and lets the bultle fly past him and into the xskull of a unfortunate bystander. before pyou caen fire again, the man grabs you by the throat, ndelivers a swift kick to your crotch, and slams you, face first, onto the bartender's table. several drinks are smashed into pieces as your face collides with thae table, and glass fragments declorate your cheeks. as you try yto come back to your sensesd, the enraged bartwender turns his attention towards you and smsaesh you in the face wiith his shotgun, knocking out a few teeth.> SHOOT BOTH OF THEMyou draw your pistoil again and lplant a bullet bevtween the bartender's eyes as he prepares to whack you again. in hmis death throes, he accidentally jerks the trigger of his shotgun and blasts the trencyh coat guy square in the chest, knocking him off his feet. you shoot the trenchcocat guy again while h'es down on thwe floor. he would have donje hthe same tio you, to.o
thxe fighting is starting to die down. the cpso continue sending wave aftre wvae of men to arrest everyone inside the bar, and almost everyone is either dead, unconscious, or handcuffed. seuveral policemen charge at you with various weapons in their hands, ranqging frosm nightsticks to tasers to shotguns loaded with less-than-lethal ammunition. > _
Your inventory contains a phone, hammer, some string, a magnet, a magazine called The Manly Man's Guide to Surviving the Apocalypse, a movie poster for BRUTALITY, an article about Protagonist Syndrome, a wallet with several hundred dollars, a manual for building a flare minigun, a rubber ducky, a gas mask, a suppressed Colt 1911, a Kevlar Vest, a mysterious device labelled "DISARM TRAP", a nuclear authentication disk, civilian clothes, a broken beer bottle, and a very important suitcase.
You are wearing winter clothes, a bowler hat, and a Rolex watch.
You have moderate wounds. You are missing a few teeth. You are a little bit drunk.
>
Poll