It's just like failbros said!
I shall guide the players to victory!
...
Actually, I will guide the players to wherever RNJesus wants them. Sorry guys.
Attack Results
Rabbot32: rolled
4You middle finger the person who threw a FRAG grenade at you and proceed to summon a sky factory. It only stays briefly, but it's long enough to retrieve a... do I have to read this?
*Ahem* SST Laboratories Siege Automaton E54.
And it's exactly the unit E54 too. Anyway, here it is!
The... uh, let's just call him Bastion, is a usually docile combantant, as opposed to the beliefs of people in the 90's.
When the unit senses danger however, it will instantly transform into a turret and begin firing toward the suspected source of danger. Right now, the unit is sensing danger so GET OUT OF THE WAY!
...Nearly forgot,
he has 8 armor points, can self-repair and can work autonomously. Pretty strong if you ask me.
SubDaWoofer: rolled
0You Self Delete in hell. You go down one layer. Exciting.
TableSalt: rolled
5You get a piece of paper, and knowing the power of paper cuts, you sharpen the piece. And you keep sharpening it. All without getting cut yourself. You even amaze the man behind the curtain sometimes.
You then throw the paper at the hunter,
dealing 90 damage and finishing the hunter off!Rabbot32: rolled
2As you try to summon a FRAF, someone throws a FRAG grenade at you.
You dodge the explosion but fail to dodge the shrapnel.TableSalt: rolled
4You take out your osmium brick and duct tape it to your fist before
punching the hunter, dealing 47 damage.CRITAWAKETS: rolled
3You search your inventory and discover a thing called "AceProgram".
You forgot how to use it.Twix: rolled
6!
Holy macaroni... That is some swift and skilled engineering! You appear to be doing it not only faster, but better too!
The heavy tank will be finished in 3 turns and the tank will be better than it would normally be!
The catch is that nobody may assist, and you may not interrupt this process without death. You won't lose your progress when that occurs, however.
ZeÜberMedic!: rolled
6You throw not one, not two, not three, not four, not yada yada yada but
ten molotov roostertails!
They give Shock Trooper and Commando visions of hell for 78 damage and 72 damage each!
You also burn yourself due to a misthrow.Redconer: rolled
2You punch the hunter........'s dead body
and get beaten up by horses before you can change your target to something living.NotBomberguy: rolled
3You begin construction of a Mobile Medic Station
out of legos. It's not too late to stop.
MicroEDGE: rolled
2You shoot an arrow to the knee of what used to be the hunter
and get beaten up by the aforementioned horde of horses.
Shock Trooper
HP: 213/250
This guy uses an SMG and will try to spray you down.
Attacks every turn, deals 1 damage to a player
The shock trooper fires at cromartini (again), dealing 1 damage.
Hunter
????-2016
HP: 0/250
He used to be an archer, then he got paper cuts to the knee.
And he will never attack again.
Hunter: Why does everyone hate me...?
Commando
HP: 267/400
He doesn't wear underwear, and his machine gun has a grenade launcher on it!
Attacks every 2 turns (MG), deals 1 damage to 2 people
Attacks every 3 turns (Grenade), deals 2 damage to 1 person and 1 damage to another
The commando sprays his front with the machine gun, opening some ventilation shafts on TableSalt and ZeUberMedic. And killing ZeUberMedic too.
The tank in the distance must have fired its rocket launchers, judging by this crater containing Redconer, Twix and Space1255. And Redconer's corpse.
PLAYER LIST:
Twix:
2/3TableSalt:
2/3Redconer:
boomZeUberMedic:
machine gunned downSpace1255:
2/3Rabbot32:
2/3SubDaWoofer:
suicidal son of a guncromartini:
1/3CRITAWAKETS:
3/3NotBomberGuy:
3/3MicroEDGE:
1/3Allies:AutonomousBastion:
8/8
Poll