Attack Results
Player ActionsRabbot32: rolled
1With the power of the shooty gun™ you provide support... for the enemies, and shoot your own face.
Gun Safety 101: Don't point the gun at yourself.SubDaWoofer: rolled
0You Self Delete in hell again. You go down another layer. Wee.
TableSalt: rolled
6Your own confusion coaxed you into such a snafu, you cannot possibly contain it in your own mind.
So it gets launched toward the shocktrooper, dealing 95 damage to him! You also get a severe headache due to this entire process.ZeÜberMedic!: rolled
3Life won't come to you, so you decide to come to it.
It walks away as you walk toward it.At this point, random.org suddenly went offline, so untrue random numbers will be used for the rest of the actions.DELL: enters the game
You approach the combat area, teaming up with the players. You can't not team up with the players anyway.
rolling...
3As a start, you call in a North Korean firing squad to give some support fire.
This number is currently unavailable. Please leave a message after the beep. [Beep]JamesH: rolled
4You talk to some crusaders and tell them they should pause taking back Jerusalem to assist with combat. So they do.
A pair of crusaders, Jack and Frederick, join the fight! Each of them with as many health as the players. They can attack with their blade, dealing a moderate amount of damage, or defend with their shield to reduce damage taken by 1. They cannot roll over 5.Redconer: rolled
2You discover a wooden staircase out of hell and proceed to climb it.
Every step breaks as you step onto it, and eventually the entire staircase breaks down. The Devil must be responsible for this!
random.org came back online on this point, so true random numbers are being used for the rest of the actions.NotBomberguy: rolled
3You try to eat the commando.
You bite his armor and lose some teeth. He shoves you back afterwards.shinyarceus4: entered the game
Right behind DELL was you, also joining the player force. You decide the best way to introduce yourself is to provide punishment to anyone opposing the players.
rolling...
6In a series of generic yet incredible combat moves,
you bring the shock trooper 106 health points closer to death! You also manage to hit yourself with a generic backfire move.MicroEDGE: rolled
6You drink a potion that heals Twix, Space1255, cromartini and yourself by 1 point!Twix: building the tank
You continue constructing the heavy tank. And quite fast too. In fact, you are probably building faster than your shadow.
Ally ActionsBastion: rolled
4Bastion enters turret form and fires wildly at Commando, dealing 60 damage to him.
Shock Trooper
HP: 12/250
This guy uses an SMG and will try to spray you down.
Attacks every turn, deals 1 damage to a player
The shock trooper decides to change target and fires at the new guy, shinyarceus1, dealing 1 damage. Quite the series of unfortunate events here. He also seems quite worried about his life.
Hunter
????-2016
HP: 0/250
He used to be an archer, then he got paper cuts to the knee.
And he will never attack again.
The hunter's dead body remains silent.
Commando
HP: 207/400
He doesn't wear underwear, and his machine gun has a grenade launcher on it!
Attacks every 2 turns (MG), deals 1 damage to 2 people
Attacks every 3 turns (Grenade), deals 2 damage to 1 person and 1 damage to another
The commando fires a grenade right on cromartini's face, dealing 2 damage. And killing him. Twix also gets caught in the explosion for 1 damage. That doesn't stop him from building the tank in the slightest.
The tank in the distance must have fired its rocket launchers, judging by this crater containing Redconer, Twix and Space1255. And Redconer's corpse.
PLAYER LIST:
Twix:
3/3TableSalt:
1/3Redconer:
boomZeUberMedic:
machine gunned downSpace1255:
3/3Rabbot32:
be safe around guns, kidsSubDaWoofer:
suicidal son of a guncromartini:
unfortunate coincidence caused a fatal explosionCRITAWAKETS:
3/3NotBomberGuy:
3/3MicroEDGE:
2/3DELL:
3/3shinyarceus4:
1/3Allies:AutonomousBastion:
8/8Jack the Crusader:
3/3Frederick the Crusader:
3/3ManualHeavy Tank: Ready in 2 turns (Builder: Twix)
Going to put a note here: In order to not make allies completely useless, the effect of rolling 1 isn't fatal to them, instead dealing 2 damage.
Poll