so i got tied to a stump and a little something is stuck in my butt

[IdeTheBird]

if you woke up tied to a stump with a condom hangin' out your ass, would you tell anybody?

[Ad Bot]

[Nobot]

i would tell my doctor and then probably the forum

[AutoBahn]

asking for a friend?

[Foxscotch]

of course I would tell people about my sweet ass bdsm experiences

[IdeTheBird]

asking for a friend?

no, for me.

[The Resonte!]

only the forums!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Badspot]

You're telling the joke wrong.  You have to set up the question so if someone says "no", you can immediately say "wanna do X?".  Like this:

1: If you went camping and woke up covered in jizz would you tell anyone?
2: No
1: Wanna go camping?

With your setup you'd have to say "wanna get tied to a stump?", which admittedly is pretty funny but only because of the anti-joke properties of it.

Also edit the title before I ban you for rule #1

[Drydess]

hey badspot have you ever woken up tied to a stump with a condom hanging outta your ass

[IdeTheBird]

i apologize for the ambiguous title

this is a serious matter, not a joke.

[The Resonte!]

umm... did it happen to you op

[HellHound]

well I'll be close to a tree so I don't have to go far to hang myself

[Woof]

TREES RAPE PEOPLE
OPEN YOUR GODDAMNED EYES!!!

[Filipe]

TREES RAPE PEOPLE
OPEN YOUR GODDAMNED EYES!!!

CUT ALL THE TREES, THEY'RE RAPISTS

[Blockbyte!]

CUT ALL THE TREES, THEY'RE RAPISTS

Wait, my house is made of wood...

wood comes from trees....

MY HOUSE IS A RAPIST