lol if the person you're dating completely destroys your individuality, you're dating the wrong person. the problem doesn't lie in relationships as a concept, it lies in the person you try to have a relationship with. dating a stuffty person? you're gonna have a stuffty relationship that tears you down. dating a good person? you're gonna have a good relationship that builds you up, supports you, and benefits you both.
yes in theory all of this is true but good partners don't exist. maintaining a romantic relationship that is so intimate requires partners with opposite values. this is why friends are more important, they have the same values as you. your partner can't, naturally because we are romantically attracted to people who are different than ourselves
In general it's so much safer to stick to no strings attached superficial relationships, especially while younger, so you can develop as an individual person, because the perfect date never exists and if they do they're probably just a stuffty person masquerading as the perfect date. anyone who argues that their partner is their soulmate is basically insecure and has to lie to themselves and other people in order to give the happy family appearance that people put on a pedistal
