Author Topic: To the Blockland Forums: An apology, and thank you.  (Read 1248 times)

It's genuinely been a while since I've seen the Blockland Forums again, I thought about this place earlier today while I was stuck in bed finding myself extremely weak to the point of being barely able to walk since a few days ago. I thought it'd be fun to just explore what dumb stuff I posted way back when from the perspective of being much older, and having a much different perspective on life than I did even a year or so ago.

Since you can't register on the Blockland Forums anymore from what I heard, I guess this really is my last chance to see it all, before it all closes down in an undefined amount of time. I wonder if anything would ever replace Blockland come into the future?

I really do miss some of the users that I used to see so often, like Vegetarian Zombie, Kochieboy, and Gatysh (especially him! I hope he's doing a lot better nowadays!) and a few others that I hardly even remember since I barely remember anything outside of some great moments from my time here. The only things that really rang a bell was the presence of a... Let's just say pony RP (This was 2011, during the height of MLP), I remember acting like such a massive little stuff on there, YOU NOTICE ME, HEY YOU NOTICE ME, GIANT DRAGON DESTROYING EVERYTHING, that sort of stuffty RPer. I wonder if any of the people who hosted that RP then would actually remember me? Wouldn't blame you if you guys still hated my guts, kind of had very good reasoning to!
I also vaguely remember the Lord Tony and MLP fiasco that happened as well. It was a surprisingly lively place back then.

Well reading through my sent PM's, I saw some things that were cringeworthy, and some things that were "NO GOD PLEASE NO WHY, WHY ARE YOU WRITING RAPE STORIES YOU WERE 12 AT THE TIME OF WRITING THIS WHAT THE forget"
I found a really gorgeous picture out of it though, which is kind of nice given all the bullstuff I wrote I had to trudge through.
Here's a link if you want it (MLP related though, not my drawing): https://i.imgur.com/bMSF6.jpg

Just reading through most if not all of my posts 2017 and earlier, it really does feel like I wrote almost nothing of value. A lot of attempts to be funny that just come off to me as toxic/cringy, some of them are funny, I guess? Actually, that's what it mostly comes across way back when, just me being straight up toxic, even for BLF standards. And for all the stuff I said/caused: I'm sorry, I actually feel bad for some of the stuff I did, and some of the massive problems I caused.

I guess it kind of makes sense, being plagued with multiple (at the time) undiagnosed mental (maybe even some physical?) issues will do that to a person. Untreated PTSD + untreated gender dysphoria is a pretty nasty combo I wouldn't wish on anyone.

Anyways, enough about me! Have a few old awesome threads and some rambley stuff/random questions!

Have an OMG SO ADORABLE cute snake thread!
Remember that one time Jesus was going to delete the planet?
Rughugger became a daddy!
Rughugger's daughter after a couple more years, she's so cute!

Wasn't there some sort of executive order made against Lord Tony as well? Something about banned from posting about ponies at all?

What sort of big things happened during like 2017-2020 blockland forums? All sorts of big things happened way back then, surely it mostly hasn't changed nowadays, just a few less with a lower population.

Any old blocklanders that you guys remember? It'd be awesome seeing a blast from the past from other users! (like Rughugger!)

And it's so weird just seeing this place mostly deserted now, the old massive Minecraft thread ending at 1.12, the MLP topic just straight up dead (which kind of makes sense I suppose, the fandom is basically dead at this point), the night and day discussion topics are just dead, the recent posts are now kind of sparse. It was bound to happen, I suppose. Nothing really gets to last forever.
But still, it's so eerie watching this forum fade into obscurity after investing so much time into it way back when.



I guess it's time to wrap this thread up then before I wind up staying up all night digging into BLF's history some more.

Does anybody here actually remember me? I'm genuinely curious now, I know I wasn't that memorable of a user.

And finally: I'm sorry for all the stuff I wound up causing, I was a really toxic starfish back then, and thank you for the great memories you all gave me though! And seeing some of the awesome old threads really cheered me up during this stuffty time, so thank you all for that as well!




name rings a bell

welcome back, even if only briefly. i wouldnt have brought up my own drama if i was you, but you do you. glad youve grown up.



I guess it kind of makes sense, being plagued with multiple (at the time) undiagnosed mental (maybe even some physical?) issues will do that to a person. Untreated PTSD + untreated gender dysphoria is a pretty nasty combo I wouldn't wish on anyone.


VALVE N :cookie:GGERKILLER Has joined the server

wow... dismissive post much? ugh...
ikr isn't one of the rules if you don't care don't post

ontopic: I have no idea who you are OP, but were you able to resolve your gender dysphoria/depression/PTSD? If so, how? I would love to hear your story if you get the time

« Last Edit: January 03, 2021, 05:07:47 AM by Goth77 »

didn't you used to have an earthbound sunglasses-wearing crow as your avatar?

why are there so many apology posts lately, does guilt weigh so heavily over people who made a forum post over 9 years ago that bad?

I wish I would've seen this post earlier, check your steam and/or discord (forgot I had yours). It's been nearly two and a half years.

didn't you used to have an earthbound sunglasses-wearing crow as your avatar?
Yes.
« Last Edit: January 03, 2021, 01:11:48 PM by Gatysh »

name rings a bell

welcome back, even if only briefly. i wouldnt have brought up my own drama if i was you, but you do you. glad youve grown up.
I know it's often considered a mistake to do that on the BLF, but it's almost the end, sooooo, might as well.

didn't you used to have an earthbound sunglasses-wearing crow as your avatar?
I did, yes! I think it might still be my steam avatar, I haven't really checked lately.

why are there so many apology posts lately, does guilt weigh so heavily over people who made a forum post over 9 years ago that bad?
I just looked at my old posts and realized that I had been a bit of an starfish way back when. It was mostly for a blast from the past, but it was kind of sucky just seeing how toxic I was, so I thought it was worth mentioning. Still had a ton of fun looking into the past posts and seeing a bunch of old users!

I wish I would've seen this post earlier, check your steam and/or discord (forgot I had yours). It's been nearly two and a half years.
I was considering logging onto steam and messaging you until you messaged me on discord.

It was really fun talking to you again! Honestly, you saw this post as it was current essentially, there wasn't much of an earlier to see.

ontopic: I have no idea who you are OP, but were you able to resolve your gender dysphoria/depression/PTSD? If so, how? I would love to hear your story if you get the time
I was for some of it!

Gender dysphoria: Yes! Transitioning was a huge thing for me, I remember just being so emotionally numb holding into the medication for the first time. Then I had taken them and it was such a huge difference, I remember being happier and smiling genuinely (not forced) for the first time in years. Nothing's perfect (especially with PTSD involved), but it's a massive improvement, and gives a stable foundation to work on.
Oh, and I'm no longer suicidal or overall apathetic after beginning transition!

Depression: For the most part, yes! It was resolved mainly because of the gender dysphoria.

PTSD: Not yet, but we're finally figuring it out after over a year of misunderstandings (therapists thinking it's some sort of anxiety thing yet it felt like I had none in that situation). I had been referred to a new therapist after my previous one suggested I try EMDR, which right now actually seems to be working, although it's in the early sessions. She's a lot different from the other therapists I've been to, but in a very, VERY good way. I honest to god thought it'd be relieving when someone else understood what I was saying, but it was surprisingly scary when I actually did feel understood with her. Still though, in the end I did wind up feeling better overall on certain aspects for the very few sessions we did, so I'm going to keep at it for as long as it works!

Overall though, I'm doing A LOT better nowadays than I used to, still a lot of work to go, and it'll be hard, but I can do it.