Author Topic: genshin impact review  (Read 503 times)

continuation of helltaker review:

i sit proud on my throne having outlived the scourge that is helltaker. having died down, i haven't heard of it since. i have won.

unsporetunately all good things must come to an end. i enjoyed the intermission when i didn't have to deal with horny helltaker fans frequently; however a new game rose from its ashes to replace it. one with a fanbase a hundred times louder, a hundred times hornier, a hundred times worse.

it started inconspicuously enough. sitting around when suddenly, three people in a server i frequent begin discussing this new game they found. no biggie

then it kept going

enter genshin impact

genshin impact is a gambling scam designed to get neets to spend ludicrous amounts of money on for minimal effort
that's all it is, i could go more in depth about the COOL GAMEPLAY and AWESOME LORE behind this garbage but really who gives a stuff nobody ever talks about it anyway

if i NEED to describe how the game plays (i don't) it's just a bootleg BOTW. it's mobile so obviously it's gonna be a worse experience due to needing a loving microscope to see anything and the fact that your big slimy gorilla hands are gonna be covering most of the screen, but that doesn't matter because you've already sold your kidney to get more Hot Waifus And S-Tiers

it lures in ugly horny weeaboos with its flashy colors and big titty anime women and just like that they have another sucker
it's also in that same cold-turkey-limbo as helltaker where it has all the bait research has and none of the payoff. people solely play it to see the hot anime babes but oh no looks like you have to spend 50 million more dollars to continue and even then it doesn't matter because it isn't a research game. genshin impact is alot more predatory than helltaker because it uses this as a marketing strategy, i'll get more into this later but if i were to give helltaker one benefit of the doubt atleast helltaker is free all the way through (did you know helltaker won a steam award? crazy stuff)

it can just be boiled down into another one of those awful mobile games forced into being popular. however instead of what happened with raid shadow legends needing to pay a couple quid to get people to brag about their game, genshin impact fans do it for a living. if they could pay to do it, they would

like i obviously hammed it up a bit when talking about helltaker's ravenous fanbase. they're annoying but it's just another group of obsessive people on the internet

i am not exaggerating when i say this; genshin impact fans literally never shut the forget up

like seriously the 'video game' channel in that one server has been delegated to a never ending loving loop of genshin impact and it's loving miserable. i change the subject but oh wait social reject #1 sold his wife's car and bought a cool new s-tier big tits anime girl and interrupts me and then the rest of his hivemind shows up to gawk at it
it's like an evil scientist genetically engineered the most unbearable human being and let it roam free in my loving presence and it makes me want to throw up blood seriously just SHUT THE forget UP GOD

these motherforgeters are DEPENDENT on denshin impact its loving insane. there's loving thousands of stories of people blowing absurd amounts of bollas on this loving garbage it's genuinely concerning how these people somehow survive in this world. like seriously just look up 'man spends alot on genshin impact' and you'll find atleast 5 stories of people spending over 1000 dollars on this stuff it's a goddamn crCIA

this is why it's so predatory; genshin impact is a parasite. it gets your attention, keeps you engaged with its obnoxious gacha mechanics (YOU NEVER KNOW WHATCHU GON GET!!!) and keeps you there until you go broke and starve to death with nothing left but a png of an 'ss-tier' barely clothed sword-toting anime schoolgirl on your dying phone to keep you company

i find it hysterical how people complain about in app purchases in other things when genshin impact is given free reign to trump everything else in the 'predatory microtransaction' department. people act like every other mobile game is worse than satan and mesothelioma combined for having microtransactions, but bring up genshin impact and they'll go silent and sulk away

i would give my life to have these loving subhumans shut the forget up about the tapeworm they call 'the best game they ever played' but alas, i don't think genshin impact is going anywhere soon. it's so goddamn popular that i guarantee it and it's raving lunatic fanbase is gonna be around for a long, long time

tl;dr genshin impact is a barely-veiled scam and the people who like it are brainwashed lunatics

streets of rogue (actual good game, is only in this thread because my friend forced me to review it here)
changed (gross furry fetish game)
helltaker (helltaker)
genshin impact (somehow worse than helltaker)

other reviews:
streets of rogue

the gacha industry (China) controls the wallets of ironic weebs with an iron fist because they will mindlessly consume anything that looks remotely anime related

but you don't understand i need these anime jpegs

gatcha is like this, genshin impact is hardly the first. its just the first that really caught on in the west i guess.

its really not much inherently worse than game models like candy crush, the difference is purchases in games like candy crush are meant to be immediately consumed/used while purchases in genshin impact are *very very very* rarely exactly what you want, but once you get it you keep it. the way they keep getting you to come back is constantly generating new things to get and creating an artificial need to roll the latest and greatest anime png with slightly more powerful stat effects that no other png has

where's that tumblr post of the person who worked at a bank and had to disable someone's card after they spent a hell load of money on genshin impact, only to enable it again after their demands and see that they even spent more money on it

beacuse that's just gacha fans in general

i played it for a few days it was fun
i like kaeya

must......... buy......... five star....... titty woman...........

thank you for reminding me to uninstall this game

Compared to all the other gacha games out there, this one has the most gameplay (most of them plays the game for you), but also the same level of grinding and dailies as the other ones.

It's all fun until you finish a fair amount of quests, you'll then notice that the game gets more grindy as you'll have to grind for more materials in order to upgrade your characters and do the daily quests everyday as they are more rewarding than anything else as an attempt to get you hooked into the game.

BTW, anyone saying that the game can be played through without doing the gacha is a shill and a liar.

they be addicts
they probably have nothing else to live for ;(
so they blow everything on gacha... it's sad and tragic but mostly idiotic

reminder that gachastuff is only good for research and nothing else

reminder that gachastuff is only good for research and nothing else
no but also stop getting your opinions from /v/ until you turn 18

not so much video games as it is video game gambling