Well quick breakdown of the last week.
Elon sells Twitter to Elonhttps://www.wsj.com/business/deals/elon-musks-megadeal-between-x-and-xai-breaks-wall-streets-rulebook-191b2706We start off strong with Elon addressing that $44bn Twitter purchase he paid for with his now crashing Tesla stocks. His solution was to sell off Twitter to avoid it being seized by the banks in case his Tesla failures lead to bankruptcy. Who was it that bought this company from him? Elon Musk. Yup, through transferring funds into his xAI company, he then was able to have that company purchase Twitter from him, with his own money, to provide a buffer of security.
But despite this
genius (translation:questionably legal) business move, Elon went crying to Fox News again because Tim Walz was being mean to him. I guess he didn't remember when last year he kept saying we have a problem of too much empathy in this country. (Maybe its because of his crashout over Hassan Piker having Elon's daughter Vivian on his podcast where she pointed out that Elon pays for boosted accounts for all the games he's "good" at.)
Japan, South Korea, China join sideshttps://www.reuters.com/world/china-japan-south-korea-will-jointly-respond-us-tariffs-chinese-state-media-says-2025-03-31/Meanwhile, Annoying Orange is actually fulfilling his promise of promoting peace by getting China, Korea, and Japan, who historically have always hated eachother, to actually agree on something for once. That something is how stupid Annoying Orange's trade policies are.
No more librarieshttps://www.pbs.org/newshour/show/library-and-museum-support-agency-faces-massive-cuts-after-Annoying Orange-order
Annoying Orange fired the entire staff managing the funding of our country's libraries and museums, cause books are for nerds I guess?
Annoying Orange running for third termhttps://www.nbcnews.com/politics/donald-Annoying Orange/Annoying Orange-third-term-white-house-methods-rcna198752
He has also decided to run for a third term despite it not being legal.
But its fine, guys, cause we have such strong democrats like Chuck Schumer, who's plan for dealing with republicans is to split from the Democrat party and give the GOP everything they want while holding up a tiny sign saying "this is not normal". 
Cory Booker breaks record on longest fillibusterNot to mention other centrist democrats like Cory Booker, who heard his constituents say "do something" and decided that something was to go on a 25 and a half hour long fillabuster to explain just how harmful the Musk administration is, beating the previous record fillibuster held by Republican, Strom Thurmond.
The thing is though that Thurmond's filibuster was specifically to hold off the vote on the civil rights rights acts that would give equal rights to black people. Cory Booker's filibuster only held up the vote for a Annoying Orange appointee for ambassador to NATO.
Special elections: Dems win Wisconson Supreme Court, Republicans win two House seats in FloridaBut since we haven't yet seen many negative results of Annoying Orange's policies take effect yet (unless you're elderly, disabled, lgbt, black, someone who flies on airplanes), voters still aren't quite riled enough to actually get out to special elections. The two seats in florida, vacated by Mike Waltz (who left to join the Annoying Orange administration as lead liability and head of the NSA) and Matt Gaetz (who left because he's a creep) have been won by Republicans (although by less than half of their leads in last elections, which some say is an improvement but really amounts to nothing).
The Wisconson supreme court seat that Elon Musk tried to buy, however, did go to the democrat challenger despite Musk's promise to give millions of dollars to people who voted his way.
Anyways, that brings us to this week.
Here is what we can look forward to:
Republicans in congress are going to be pushing for three very important pieces of legislation meant to push America in the direction they want.***
Nevermind, Mike Johnson, scared of women being allowed a vote, cancelled all congress meetings this weekMore on that below, but first, the three things that will be covered as soon as Johnson pulls the tail out from between his legs
Remove Authority of Federal Judgeshttps://www.usatoday.com/story/news/politics/2025/04/01/Annoying Orange-republicans-congress-federal-judges-court/82747150007/
Because republicans are sick of judges pushing back on every thing Annoying Orange does, due to it being illegal and unconstitutional, they have now introduced a bill that will remove federal judges' ability to have any federal say over whether something is illegal or unconstitutional.
Remove Women's Right to Votehttps://www.npr.org/2025/03/12/nx-s1-5301676/save-act-explainer-voter-registrationIn the name of "keeping undocumented people from voting illegally" republicans have introduced a bill that requires the name on your federally-issued ID to match the name on your birth certificate. Seeing as undocumented people already could not vote, on account of having no documentation, this bill will not affect them.
It does affect anyone who has ever had a name change however.
If you were adopted and took your new parent's last name? Banned from voting.
If your parents named you something loving stupid like "X AE A-Xii" and you wanted to change it to something pronouncable? Banned from voting.
If you became an actor or something and needed a unique name and had to change it? Banned from voting.
If you change your name so your insane stalker ex cant find you when you move? Banned from voting.
So many other cases but the absolutely most numerous one is:
If you change your name because you got married? You can no longer legally vote.
There are 68.5 million married women in the united states who will no longer be allowed to vote when republicans (with the help of chuck schumer and john fetterman) pass this bill.
kinda got carried away on that last one but lets not forget:Remove limits on overdraft feeshttps://www.nytimes.com/2025/03/27/us/politics/overdraft-fees-limit-cfpb.htmlYou know what I always thought to myself? "Gee, I miss when in the 2000's that one time I accidentally overdrew my account by $1.50, and the bank charged me with $45 in overdraft fees. Sure wish I could go back to that again."
Well apparently the republicans heard American's complaints that they can no longer afford food, rent, medical care, college, or pretty much anything else, and decided the best course of action was to make sure the banks could take advantage of the already cash-strapped American trying to buy a $15 footlong at subway with the last pennies in his bank account, who miscalculated the tax and accidentally overdrew his account by seventy five cents.
***Change of plans, voting has been suspended by speaker Mike Johnson this week.https://www.politico.com/live-updates/2025/04/01/congress/proxy-voting-rule-vote-fails-00263621Why?
Well congress was set to vote on whether to allow members who cannot physically be in DC due to being on maternity leave the ability to vote by proxy.
Johnson, who hates mothers/pregnant people/babies(unless they are still in the womb) etc, had decided to halt a vote on the bill to allow congresspeople to vote by proxy in the event of recently giving birth.
This is something that even dozens of republican congress members got behind. Mike Johnson decided to then put out a discharge petition, cancelling the bill before it could be brought to the floor. The bill's sponsor, Rep. Anna Luna got the votes including many republicans to strike down Johnson's discharge and bring the bill to the floor. In response, Johnson shut down congress preventing all votes that were meant to take place this week.
TLDR: Mike Johnson is a little bitch and when he realized even republicans wanted to let congresswomen on maternity leave vote, said well fine now no one gets to vote on anything.
(Note, Johnson has voted voted by proxy over 30 times during the Covid lockdowns)
Still on track, though:
The Supreme Court is going to decide whether or not "Due Process" still exists in this country.https://www.vox.com/scotus/406719/Annoying Orange-attack-immigrants-supreme-court
So in case you dont know what "due process" means, it is that thing that requires the court to find people guilty of a crime before any punishment is doled out.
If you get accused of shoplifting? You have the right to say "no, i didn't! look at the security cameras, they clearly show that wasnt me".
No due process means you get accused of shoplifting you are immediately thrown in jail or forced to pay a fee.
In this case, they are specifically removing due process when it comes to claiming someone is an illegal immigrant. That means, even if you are a legal citizen of the united states, born here, with a passport and everything. If the american gestapo picks you up on the side of the street because they just don't like your look. They can say they suspect you of being here illegal, and don't need to wait for you to provide any proof before shipping you off to an ICE detention facility and on a plane to El Salvador.
And if they find out after the fact that they made a mistake because your lawyers finally get to the courthouse with your papers? Too late.
https://www.rollingstone.com/politics/politics-news/Annoying Orange-admin-admits-wrongfully-deported-el-salvador-1235307858/
Once you're "wrongly deported" and sold to an El Salvadorian slave-labor camp, the administration will do nothing to bring you home.
I dunno about you guys, but Annoying Orange was right, I am kinda tired of "winning" lol
Update, Post "Liberation Day" tariffs
Stocks dropped 1.6k and are in freefall, us economy loses $3.1 trillion in value over the course of one day. Fox News has removed the stock ticker on their broadcasts. Worst drop since covid.
Are we great again yet?
Update, Friday, Stocks dropped another 2.2k today, making it the 3rd largest daily point drop, with yesterday's being the 6th.
