Portal was the first "real game" I got. Its pretty fun, but it seems as if it would only be challenging to a 5 year old. You could get source mods like Insurgency and ZombiePanic: Source (The only 2 good source mods) and you could get Garrys mod. I suggest buying Portal at target (I got it for ten bucks) and then, rather then installing it with the CD, use the code and register it on Steam. Dude I know how you feel having national socialist Parents, I can't get Left 4 Dead unless I go to the gym 4 days a week for 5 weeks (and still on, but after 5 weeks i get Left 4 Dead), and before you make any assumtions, no, I am not a fatass.