Omegle, funny conversations. Post them here.

[Azerath]

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Hey man, do you have a light?
Stranger: not on me
Stranger: sorry dude
You: Not even any matches?
Stranger: sorry
You: Any sticks to make a fire with?
Stranger: not with me
You: God damn.
You: I need to smoke this weed...
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

[Ad Bot]

[Fjeld]

Stranger: Hello, I'm looking for a horny girl with msn or skype. I have web cam.
You: To bad im a guy
Stranger: sorry

[Azerath]

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: OM NOM NOM.
You: EAT MAH SANVICH.
Stranger: OKAY.
Stranger: OM NOM MOM
Stranger: EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW.
You: WHAT, WHAT'S WRONG WITH MAH SANVICH?
You: WHAT'S WRONG WITH IT, YOU BITCH?!
You: DON'T LIKE MY SANVICHES?
Stranger: No. I just found a pubic hair in it.
Stranger: But it's all good.
You: Oh, sorry about that.
Stranger: xD
You: I guess I kinda... forgeted the sanvich before thinking about eating it...
You: Well, I thought it would be nice to share, and I kinda ruined the moment.
You: ...damn.
Stranger: It's all good.
You: So... you want a Slushie to wash that taste out of your mouth?
Stranger: Sure.
Stranger: OM NOM NOM.
You: Oh, you know what, bad idea..
Stranger: D:
You: The hole in the top is the perfect size...
Stranger: mhm. I understand. It's all good.
You: You know what, I'll just bring you to McDonald's or something and I'll buy you a drink.
Stranger: Okay.
Stranger: OM NOM NOM
You: Oh... stuff.
You: I work here..
You: And I like that machine..
You: I tried to prank someone...
Stranger: It's okay.
You: No, it's not. You're going to die is 7 minutes.
Stranger: YAYY
You: So, you want to go out on a fancy vacation before you die?
Stranger: Sure.
Stranger: OM NOM NOM
Stranger: Owait.
Stranger: forget
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

[TJ10]

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Friend
You: E.T. need frienf
Stranger: et is a friend
You: lol
You: Holy stuff,I shat bricks out!!
Stranger: I don't stuff brix
You: i like nintendo ds
Stranger: If i would put the amount of brix I stuff
Stranger: it would be one over infinity
You: OVER 9000
Stranger: HEY I THOUGHT SHE WAS 18 BUT IT TURNS OUT SHE WAS OVER 9000
Stranger: COMON MAN YOU KNOW HOW IT IS
You: Um
You: Um
Stranger: the game/
You: oh
You: snake
You have disconnected.

[Drak]

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi!
You: OH MY GOD
Stranger: jk
Stranger: hy
Stranger: omfg what?
You: A STRANGER GET AWAY FROM ME
Stranger: im sorry
You: BACK
You: BACK
Stranger: im backing awaty
You: YOU WRETCHED BEING!
Stranger: HEY WAIT!
You: I HAVE HALF A MIND TO CALL THE COPS ON YOU.
Stranger: U R THE STANGER!!!
You: OH
You: DAMN
Stranger: I AM ME
You: forget
Stranger: wtf
You: *Self Delete*
You have disconnected.

[Megaguy]

Snip

[Megaguy]

Snip

[dkamm65]

Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Why hello thar
Stranger: Hey
Stranger: a/s/l?
You: 17/m/can
Stranger: 16/f/cal
You: I didn't ask you bitch
You: now let's cyber
Stranger: lol wtf?
Stranger: ok you want to rp?
You: Yes.
Stranger: Ok r u ok with famly roles?
You: Absolutely I am
Stranger: Ok u be my brother
Stranger: and Ill be in my room changing
You: I come into your room without knocking
You: hey sis do you have any - OH LAWD
Stranger: HEY
Stranger: dont com into my room without knocking first!
Stranger: I put my shirt on
You: Sorry sis
Stranger: get outta here!!
You: No bitch let's have love
Stranger: haha come on get out
Stranger: stop joking
You: I walk over to you slowly
You: and put my hand on your hip
Stranger: mmm oh yeah
You: with my other hand I reach under your shirt and feel your soft stomach
Stranger: oh your good
You: I look into your eyes and give you a passionate kiss on the lips
Stranger: oh brother
Stranger: keep going
You: I slowly lift your shirt to reveal
You: YOU BREASTS ARE ACTUALLY TWO LIVE NUCLEAR BOMBS
You: WHAT THE forget SIS?
Stranger: ???????????????????
You: OH GOD LOOK AT THE TIMER
You: 5
You: 4
Stranger: wtf ass
You: 3
You: 2
You: OH NOOOO-
You: The nuclear blast vaporizes both of us in an instant
You: along with everything else in a 12 mile radius
Stranger: richard
You: All that is left is a charred irradiated wasteland
Stranger: wtf is ur problem??
You: You're the one with nuclear bombs for tits
You: Bitch.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

[pantherfan]

l-o-l

[Megaguy]

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: -Stupid idiot-
You: Please die.
Stranger: too late
You: You heard me
Stranger: ahhh
Stranger: thats nice
You: What.
Stranger: starfish
You: Holy stuff its a troll
You: GO, PIKACHU
Stranger: lol
You: PIKACHU, USE DISSCONNECT
You have disconnected.

[Megaguy]

Oh dear.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: roosterS
Stranger: Hey there
Stranger: my name is declan
You: I am so bored.
Stranger: i'm a hardcore stanist looking for a spiritual friend
Stranger: to talk ot the dead with
You: Stanist?
Stranger: Satanist sorry
You: STANIST?
You: Good luck with that.
Stranger: join us
You: Are you from the blockland forums?
You: Or 4chan or something?
Stranger: http://www.churchofsatan.com/
Stranger: no serious stuff
You: What the forget is wrong with you.
Stranger: its good
Stranger: listen
You: Ok.
Stranger: Satan represents indulgence instead of abstinence!
You: What
Stranger: Satan represents vengeance instead of turning the other cheek!
You: I think that your just a metalhead friend.
You: Who thinks hes orginal.
You: And clever.
You: Well you arent.
Stranger: i dont like metal
You: You are not effecting the world.
Stranger: its just the only relgion that sounds good
You: You have done nothing.
Stranger: niether have you
Stranger: what have you accomplished?
You: TL;DR: YOU LOSE. GOOD DAY SIR.
Stranger: asswiupe
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

[Megaguy]

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: Hey wehre you from?
You: The game.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
 

Heres anther...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: The game.
Stranger: hi
Stranger: sur
Stranger: e
You: You just lost the game.
Stranger: asl is the name of this game
You: ...
You: Asl?
Stranger: age/love/location
Stranger: but you said im already loose
You: Age: ERROR love: BOTH Location: YOUR BASEMENT
You: Im comeing for you...
You have disconnected.

[Visage]

You: Hi.
Stranger: are you a naughty girl that likes her bottom spanked?
You: Do I look like yo momma?

[pantherfan]

Very short Chat:

Stranger:hi

Me:Hi

Stranger:asl?

You have disconnected.

[pantherfan]

Another short:

Me:hi

Stranger:My wanky is stanky can i wash it our kitchen sanky!


me:DO NOT ASK ME MY ASL OR I WILL RIP YOUR VOCAL CORDS OUT

stranger:asl

me:*Rips vocal cords out*

me:rawr

Your conversational partner has disconnected