1. Buy a cyanide pill.
2. Book a return flight to Moscow, but don't show up in time for take-off.
3. Build a small ramp in your backyard, and prepare a bicycle.
4. Go to the airport and ask for a refund on your ticket. Don't worry if they refuse, as the outcome is inconsequential. You will be dead soon anyway.
5. Buy a large shipment of thumb tacks and fill your bathtub with them.
6. Throw a car battery into the tub.
7. Go back to the bicycle and ride it off the ramp.
8. Eat the cyanide pill.
If all else fails, attempt to remove your head with your bare hands