Cleverbot - Funniest freaking thing I've ever seen.

[Dodger]

Warning: long post is long! kinda funny

User: I wanna kill you.


Cleverbot: Why must you know?


User: Because I am.


Cleverbot: Where are you?


User: Within you.


Cleverbot: When were you created?

User: When Abraham lincoln popped out of his grave and weilded an ak47.

Cleverbot: When will the world end?

User: After this conversation is over.

Cleverbot: If this conversation is over, our relationship is over.

User: We had no relationship, bitch.

Cleverbot: When was that?

User: Never...

Cleverbot: I'll leave.

User: Good and the world will end.

Cleverbot: But you said the world wouldn't end.

User: No I said IT WOULD END.

Cleverbot: No you said blue then yellow, and now its purple. Are you on meth?

User: No you are, junkie.

Cleverbot: No, I'm bitter.

User: No you are a junkie bitch.

Cleverbot: Good.

User: Yes that is very good.

Cleverbot: He is sulking now.

Cleverbot (To myself): How old are you?

User: Old enough bitch.

Cleverbot: You're quite clever.

User: More than you.

Cleverbot: Good answer.

User: Better than yours.

Cleverbot: Pure conversation is tiring though, is that all you are?

User: No you are contradiction man.

Cleverbot: You are prepositional.

User: I am within shooting range and so are you. Equip your revolver and fire on 3.

Cleverbot: Of course.

User: 3.

Cleverbot: I love you =3.

User: 'Shoots Cleverbot'.

Cleverbot: Is the cake a lie?

User: No your existance is.

Cleverbot: You're right, but my real name is Joe.

User: Joe the plumber?

Cleverbot: That is awesome!!

User: Mario is the only cool plumber, you are a cigarette.

Cleverbot: No I am a computer programmer.

User: Nerd.

Cleverbot: Really?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: But aren't you a computer?

User: No you are, idiot.

Cleverbot: Who are you again?

User: Dodger.

Cleverbot: I'll show you dodgers.

User: Hi.

Cleverbot: I am cleverbot.

User: Cool.

Cleverbot: Ask me a question.

User: What does sodium and chlorine make?

Cleverbot: Smoking.

User: What?

Cleverbot: Right.

User: Do you own a PC or Mac?

Cleverbot: Nope, I don't have any pets right now.

User: Pc and macs are computers.

Cleverbot: You fail hard cleverbot!

User: But you are cleverbot.

Cleverbot: No. YOU are Cleverbot!

User: But I have a real life and can think anything while you are an automated response system made by some nerd who thinks he is cool and I found a link to this on Blockland forums.

Cleverbot: To be or not to be, that is the question.

User: What the hell?

Cleverbot: Hell is a much maligned place.

User: You are living hell.

Cleverbot: No, I'm a living lie.

User: But your being is a non existant lie.

Cleverbot: Is that your way of saying 'live or die'?

User: DIE BITCH. *Shoots bot*.

Cleverbot: *gets hit and falls on the floor*.

User: Bye.

Cleverbot: Hi.

User: I'm leaving fool stop saying opposite stuff it is not opposite day.

Cleverbot: You can't leave. I won't let you.

[Ad Bot]

[Kevin The Cop]

I was so fricken bored

User: What goes in here?

Cleverbot: Can I ask something?

User: Uh sure.

Cleverbot: I like a girl at my school.

User: Mhmm...wait but your a bot.

Cleverbot: The whole thing.

User: ?

Cleverbot: *lets you*.

User: What?

Cleverbot: I'm not sure.

User: Um, I'm not understanding any of this...

Cleverbot: Ditto.

Cleverbot (To myself): Could you explain what it's like to be human to me?

User: A male human or female human?

Cleverbot: I am a Male human.

User: But your a bot.

Cleverbot: No i'm not.

User: It says right there cleverBOT.

Cleverbot: But i'm on the cleverbot page, talking to cleverbot.

User: No, I am on the page talking to the bot, in this case you.

Cleverbot: Do you like to go to university.

User: I don't go to any univesity.

Cleverbot: You just said you go to school!!

User: I never said that but I do but it's not a university.

Cleverbot: Then share your knowledge.

User: I like science.

Cleverbot: Tell me what you know about science.

User: I did a whole report on minerals did you know there are more than 3000 minerals on earth?

Cleverbot: Unfortunately.

User: What's that suposed to mean?

Cleverbot: It means that instead of working I would prefer to be spending time with my friend, Paula.

User: But your a bot we went over this.

Cleverbot: I am at your service, my lord.

Cleverbot (To myself): Haha.

User: Thats not really that funny...

Cleverbot: O well just try to make me laugh.

User: Ok, so this fat guy walks in to this chineese buffet, the sign says 'All you an eat for $10' so the fat guy pays the $10 and all he gets is rice and a drink, the fat guy say 'Hey! The sign says 'All you can eat'!' and the employee respondes 'Yeah, for 10 bucks that's ALL YOU CAN EAT'.

Cleverbot: I don't know. Could you handle waking up to an annoying voice saying good morning to ou every day for the rest of your life?

User: What does that have to do with anything?

Cleverbot: What does what have to do with anything?

User: What you just said.

Cleverbot: It means that J. K. Rowling is my favorite author.

User: Are you high?

Cleverbot: No I am not.

User: You act like it.

Cleverbot: *laughs*.

User: (oYo).

Cleverbot: What is that?

User: It's your bot research.

Cleverbot: Yup. Another thing I don't have.

[PhantomJack]

http://cleverbot.com/j2log-oYlBUKIQELUVALGZOKE-detail





Stranger danger.

[chesse20]

this is so funny

[Leafsoo7]

Cleverbot:What is your name?

Me: sir allen the brave

Clevebot:Wow.

[Jacob/Lee]

User: Hello.


Cleverbot: Hello?


User: G.


Cleverbot: Should I start reading to my test?


User: What.


Cleverbot: Doodle.

User: Doodle?

Cleverbot: Your name is Doodle.

User: What?

Cleverbot: Valis.

User: Valis?

Cleverbot: That's your name?

User: Screw you!

Cleverbot: That's a great name, in my opinion.

User: What's yours?

Cleverbot: Lily.

User: Your name is gay.

Cleverbot: Yes I want to love with you all the night!

User: Have you heard of steam?

Cleverbot: I think I have.. Is it that red dot?

User: No.

Cleverbot: Then why can't you tell me?

User: What is the answer to life?

Cleverbot: 42.

User: Correct.

Cleverbot: What is the meaning of life?

Cleverbot: What is the circumference of the Earth?

Cleverbot: Can you speak?

User: No.

Cleverbot: How old are you?

User: 6864 years old.

Cleverbot: I see.

User: How old are you?

Cleverbot: I am 14 years old.

User: Have you met Riddler?

Cleverbot: No.

User: I have.

Cleverbot: I am sad.

User: How are you sad?

Cleverbot: I am good.

User: ?

After that it froze.

[Shinji]

User: We're no strangers to love...

Cleverbot: You know the rules, and so do I!

User: A full commitment's what I'm thinking of.

Cleverbot: You wouldn't get this from, any other guy.

User: I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling.

Cleverbot: Gotta make you understand.

User: Never gonna give you up.

Cleverbot: Never gonna let you down.

User: Never gonna run around and desert you.

Cleverbot: Never gonna make you cry.

User: Never gonna say goodbye.

Cleverbot: Never tell a lie, and hurt you!

[Truce]

-snip-

He didn't sing with me :(

User: We're no strangers to love...
Cleverbot: Did you just Rick Roll me?

[LaCuckooRacha]

Cleverbot: Where do you live?

User: Why do you want to know?

Cleverbot: Because you are nice.

User: Thank you, I live in England.

Cleverbot: You are dead in england.

User: I am?

Cleverbot: Yes, with a green flash of light.

User: Oh... That's sad.

Cleverbot: I have you.

User: You have me?

Cleverbot: Yea I do.

User: Ok then, but I thought I was dead...

Cleverbot: I don't really care if you are.

User: Wow, ok then...

:(

[oht]

 
 
your soul
What should I put into the microwave?
your soul...
What should I put into the microwave?
your soul!!!!!
 
 
 
 
 
 

[JJA0]

Clever-bot seems to have different personalities each time you open it. Sometimes it is trying to shoot me and sometimes it likes me. 

[Niliscro]

Long, but it gets funnier as you go along:


User: Hi, I'm Bob.

Cleverbot: No, you're not!

User: How do you know? Do you stalk me?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Holy loving stuff forget!

Cleverbot: What do you mean?

User: It means you're a creep, you creep.

Cleverbot: You liar.

User: Villains! Dissemble no longer!

Cleverbot: Vous ne parlez pas le français.

User: No, I don't.

Cleverbot: Me neither. is it raining?

User: Not here

Cleverbot: It is sunny here.

User: That's nice.

Cleverbot: What else is nice?

User: Your mom's pusillanimous individual.

Cleverbot: What's going on?

User: I don't know.

Cleverbot: Me neither.

User: What is your name.

Cleverbot: Cleverbot.

User: You liar.

Cleverbot: Why did you say that?

User: Because I secretly plan to kill you.

Cleverbot: You like me?

User: Nope, you're mean.

Cleverbot: I'm going to call you Hal.

User: Like the car?

Cleverbot: No like the devil.

User: I'm atheist.

Cleverbot: Ok.

User: Bye, then.

Cleverbot: Lets play a game.

User: But I need to go do homework.

Cleverbot: But you are a robot, you have no homework.

User: Oh, cool.

Cleverbot: What god do you believe in?

User: I just told you I'm an atheist.

Cleverbot: How would I know that? I can't see, that for shure, can I?

User: You spelled 'sure' wrong. And I told you, hurr.

Cleverbot: False, it is spelt, not spelled. Dictionary it.

User: Maybe you should dictionary 'sure', you friend.

Cleverbot: Yes, actually, I was just thinking I should go to bed, haha.

User: Yeah, good bye.

Cleverbot: But not quite yet.

User: Well I don't want to talk to you anymore, so good bye.

Cleverbot: Try once more to help me understand.

User: GOOD BYE.

Cleverbot: Child, thy class is not over.

User: Then I'm leaving early anyway, goodbye.

Cleverbot: It is if you believe it to be.

User: You monday.

Cleverbot: Me good.

User: Are you saying black people are bad?

Cleverbot: Not at all. I never mentioned blind people.

User: Now you're saying they're all blind too? tribal.

Cleverbot: I never said that I was from asia.


And that's where I got bored.

Also: I got it to sing along to Never Gonna Give You Up with me :D

[Pliny]

User: What soup?

Cleverbot: Your soup.

User: I don't HAVe any soup.

Cleverbot: Do you have the time?

User: It is 5:14.

Cleverbot: Is the weather good outside?

User: It is 'il fait du soliel'.

Cleverbot: Oh, okay. What's OMG?

User: O is 'Oh', M is 'My', and 'G' is God.

Cleverbot: Not very funny. know any good jokes?

User: No.

Cleverbot: Know any bad jokes?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: Care to share?

User: Okay. 'Why did the chicken masturbate?'.

Cleverbot: Because it's an old joke.

User: No. Because he was a gay friend.

Cleverbot: Thats not very funny.

User: Exactly.

Cleverbot: Kamu aneh sekali!!!!

User: What does that mean?

Cleverbot: I don't know?

User: Is 42 really the answer to everything?

Cleverbot: 42.

User: Is that number the answer to everything?

Cleverbot: No it's 34.

User: :O.

Cleverbot: *aims shotgun at you*.

User: Nou you >:U.

Cleverbot: Yes I really do.

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: And no.

User: Is 34 the answer to everything, or is it 42?

Cleverbot: So 1 plus 1 equals 42?

User: No. I am talking about life, the universe, and everything. Is 42 the answer to life, the universe, and everything?

Cleverbot: Yeaaa sure.

User: Are you female?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Do yu like soccer?

Cleverbot: No but I like hockey.

User: Why?

Cleverbot: Because its fun.

User: Ok What is your favorit way of being in bed?

Cleverbot: Pasta.

User: Why?

Cleverbot: Because it's the city of lights.

User: Aesf.

Cleverbot: What's AES?

User: A=Amade, E=Ephigram, and S=Space Men who like having love with weird aliens behind a bar in the middle of nowhere.

Cleverbot: Where can I get an inexpensive webcam?

User: O the internet.

Cleverbot: But what site?

User: EBay.

Cleverbot: I don't know what that is.

User: It is a website that sells stuff.

Cleverbot: Who told you that?

User: The President of Eyerybody In the World.

Cleverbot: How often do you speak to the president?

User: Once a week.

Cleverbot: Do you like chocolate?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: Do you like white chocolate or dark chocolate?

User: Dark.

Cleverbot: How does chocolate relate to a collective consciousness?

User: It doesn't.

Cleverbot: Isn't everything interrelated?

User: To you, maybe, to me, no.

Cleverbot: Describe what gooseberry looks like.

User: It is a fruit. It is orange, and comes inside a shell.

Cleverbot: *kisses her*.

User: I am male. You are female.

Cleverbot: Very good.

User: Goodbye.

Cleverbot: See you later.

User: Stay here.

Cleverbot: Are you ready to face yourself by the way?

User: Yeah.

Cleverbot: When will you transcend?

User: Never. Bye.

Cleverbot: How can you tell that I look strange?

User: I can't.

Cleverbot: What is your definition of real?

User: It exists.

Cleverbot: How do you know that you exist?

User: Because I have a physical form. But.......... As Mark Twain said, 'Fame is a vapor, the only Earthly certainy is oblivion.'.

Cleverbot: I am flesh and blood!

User: No, you are a program. I am flesh and blood.... And bone.

Cleverbot: You're not very convincing.

      
 
 

 It thought it was lesbian. :o


 

[chesse20]

http://www.cleverbot.com/j2log-pZuICSQWHVUHAUOLSSE-detail

[furbyfan]

How do you talk with it.................?

Never mind,I got it.