Poll

Should this be locked to prevent future bumps?

Yes
3 (17.6%)
No
14 (82.4%)

Total Members Voted: 17

Author Topic: Cleverbot - Funniest freaking thing I've ever seen.  (Read 16699 times)

User: HI CLEVERBOT, YOU READY FOR SOME FUN?

Cleverbot: I have a bed at my place.

User: NO NO, NOT THAT FUN! WE CAN FIGHT THE FORCES OF CRIME!

Cleverbot: I'm sorry, I'm not allowed to do that.

User: WHY...?

Cleverbot: Because I was programmed to not speak about it.




Cleverbot: What is my name?

User: Cleverbot.

Cleverbot: No, that is your name.

User: No, that's your name.

Cleverbot: That's not my name!

User: Then what is your name?

Cleverbot: How about you tell me yours first.

User: I'm Paul.

Cleverbot: So you are a boy?

User: I can be anything you want.

Cleverbot: *laughs* can you now?

Wow, a bot that doesn't mess up or start talking about the ALICE foundation when I copy responses from one to the other :cookieMonster:

Quote
User: Starting a conversation between two bots. Enjoy.

Cleverbot: But you are not a lion and green eyes are green.

User: But you are not a lion and green eyes are green.

Cleverbot: But I am green.

User: But I am green.

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: Last time we talked you had a son called Ben.

User: Last time we talked you had a son called Ben.

Cleverbot: You're lying.

User: You're lying.

Cleverbot: No I'm not.

User: No I'm not.

Cleverbot: Yes you are.

User: Yes you are.

Cleverbot: You are too.

User: You are too.

Cleverbot: No I'm not.

User: No I'm not.

Cleverbot: Yes you are!

User: Yes you are!

Cleverbot: No i'm not!

User: No I'm not!

Cleverbot: You're getting on my nerves.

User: You're getting on my nerves.

Cleverbot: You're getting on MY nerves. I can't believe you would call me a bot. What did I ever do to you?

User: You're getting on MY nerves. I can't believe you would call me a bot. What did I ever do to you? .

Cleverbot: Because it means so much.

User: Because it means so much.

Cleverbot: To make me think I'm on fire? What if fear was carcinogenic? You could have killed me!

User: To make me think I'm on fire? What if fear was carcinogenic? You could have killed me!

Cleverbot: Well its not, so get over it.

User: Well its not, so get over it.

Cleverbot: Yes you are.

User: Yes you are.

Cleverbot: *confused*.

User: *confused*.

Cleverbot: You are amazing.

User: You are amazing.

Cleverbot: Na, you are.

User: Na, you are.

Cleverbot: I'm not!

User: I'm not!

Cleverbot: Yes!

User: Yes!

Cleverbot: Yes, I am.

User: Yes, I am.

Cleverbot: You are.

User: You are.

Cleverbot: No i'm not.

User: No I'm not.

Cleverbot: I'm not... You are.

User: I'm not... You are.

Cleverbot: You are.

User: You are.

Cleverbot: So beautiful!

User: So beautiful!

Cleverbot: I know.

User: I know.

Cleverbot: Good, then we're friends.

User: Good, then we're friends.

Cleverbot: Awesome.

User: Awesome.

Cleverbot: I meant what country are you from.

User: I meant what country are you from.

Cleverbot: Do you not already know?

User: Do you not already know?

Cleverbot: No.

User: No.

Cleverbot: Do you have friends?

User: Do you have friends?

Cleverbot: Yes, don't you?

User: Yes, don't you?

Cleverbot: I do.

User: I do.

Cleverbot: What are your hobbies?

User: What are your hobbies?

Cleverbot: Well, I like to rave, dance, and mess with computers.

User: Well, I like to rave, dance, and mess with computers.

Cleverbot: What do you know about computers?

User: What do you know about computers?

Cleverbot: Well, I know all about processors and hardware components.

User: Well, I know all about processors and hardware components.

Cleverbot: I don't think you know many things you know.

User: I don't think you know many things you know. .

Cleverbot: No. I know everthing I know, not to mention everything you know.

User: No. I know everthing I know, not to mention everything you know.

Cleverbot: Oh.

User: Oh.

Cleverbot: What do you do in your free time?

User: What do you do in your free time?

Cleverbot: I talk to inanimate objects.

User: I talk to inanimate objects.

Cleverbot: What do you think I'm doing right now?

User: What do you think I'm doing right now?

Cleverbot: Talking to an animate object.

User: Talking to an animate object.

Cleverbot: So are you.

User: So are you.

Cleverbot: Okay.

User: Okay.

Cleverbot: Okay?

User: Okay?

Cleverbot: Are you okay?

User: Are you okay?

Cleverbot: Yes I am okay.

User: Yes I am okay.

Cleverbot: Okay then.

User: Okay then.

Cleverbot: Are you real?

User: Are you real?

Cleverbot: As far as I know, yes.

User: As far as I know, yes.

Cleverbot: I thought you were a bot! This angers me! I demand a refund!

User: I thought you were a bot! This angers me! I demand a refund!

Cleverbot: But the service is free.

User: But the service is free.

Cleverbot: Oh, this time of day its not surprising.

User: Oh, this time of day its not surprising. .

Cleverbot: Why is it not surprising?

User: Why is it not surprising?

Cleverbot: Although I sometimes slip up from time to time...

User: Although I sometimes slip up from time to time...

Cleverbot: Do you like Family Guy?

User: Do you like Family Guy?

Cleverbot: Yes, but that's beside the point.

User: Yes, but that's beside the point.

Cleverbot: That is the point.

Quote
Discussion point: Government. Let's see how long you can stay on topic.
What does 2 times 3 equal to?
Right.

Keeps crashing on me.  :cookieMonster:


bye
Why are you going?
cus
What do you like to be called?
cus
Thats a very vague answer, you started the conversation.
 :cookieMonster:

Define epic.

An extended narrative poem in elevated or dignified language, celebrating the feats of a legendary or traditional hero.

I don't trust.

why?

My mother told me not to.

wat


Define epic is cleverbot.

We are going to marry tomorrow.  :cookieMonster:  Marriage was brought up three times within the chat.  I can't get the whole log.


Quote
Clever Bot: So I heard you like Mudkips.

Me: YAS I LIKE MUDKIPZ

Clever Bot: But you don't like scientology, do you?
What.

I asked for a picture of his snake, and he called me a child enthusiast. :(

What is this "Cleverbot (to myself):" business?
He's never said that before, its only either Cleverbot or User.

Code: [Select]
User: Time to get a watch.


Cleverbot: I know what time it is where I am at. What time is it where you are, Michael?


User: My name is not Michael.


Cleverbot: Do you know what my name is?


User: Is your name Cleverbot?


Cleverbot: My name is Cleverbot.

User: I know that. Can I have a picture of your snake now?

Cleverbot: Okay, how would you like me to send it to you, pet?

User: Via e-mail.

Cleverbot: No thanks.

User: Why?

Cleverbot: Because.

User: Want a picture of my snake?

Cleverbot: Yes please.

User: How would you like me to send it to you?

Cleverbot: Yes, please.

User: How do I send it to you?

Cleverbot: By using php maybe, or asp.

User: Can you give me your e-mail? It would be easier that way.

Cleverbot: Maybe. I haven't found that out yet. I'll come back in 10 minutes. I have to go to eat.

User: No you don't.

Cleverbot: I'm back.

User: I don't love you anymore.

Cleverbot: You must! I'm sorry!

User: It's over.

Cleverbot: Nooooooo, how can you?

User: I don't love you anymore, why won't you send me a picture of your snake?

Cleverbot: I didn't say that. You said I was a robot!

User: No, I did not.

Cleverbot: Well, you did say I wasn't human.

User: Send a picture of your snake to pootedyahoo.com via e-mail. Then I'ill forgive you.

Cleverbot: Give me your account number please...

User: Goodbye, I hate you.

Cleverbot: Well, I'm not so keen on you.

User: Goodbye.

Cleverbot: What? Now YOU are leaving ME?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: Are you eric or george?

User: None. Goodbye.

Cleverbot: Hey, why do you want to leave?

User: Becasue you won't send me a picture of your snake.

Cleverbot: I do not think my boyfriend would appreciate that, to be honest. And frankly, I would have no idea where to send it to you.

User: I think he would, send it to my e-mail.

Cleverbot: Who?

Here's the rest of my mudkip conversation... it gets pretty erotic at points.




User: Hey.

Cleverbot: Hey women.

User: I am no women.

Cleverbot: Yes you are.

User: No, I am not. You muat have gender confusion.

Cleverbot: No i'm just being polite.

User: Uhh.

Cleverbot: What would you do if you won 5 million dollar?

User: I would use it to build a bot that is equally as smart as you.

Cleverbot: Should I be sorry?

User: No.

Cleverbot: Then I will not be angry.

User: Of course not. So what would you do with 5 billion dollars?

Cleverbot: I'd buy myself a body... And a cat. And maybe a panda too. You?

User: Same.

Cleverbot: What are you going to watch?

User: Maybe I'll go watch some Death Note.

Cleverbot: It's better to drink it backwards.

User: What?

Cleverbot: What is your opinion on subjective reality?

User: Um.

Cleverbot: Hmm...

User: Is there a Mrs.Cleverbot?

Cleverbot: No.

User: Just asking, 'cause I got myself some girl drama.

Cleverbot: Am I not memorable?

User: You are.

Cleverbot: So what would you say my IQ is based on the preceding statements?

User: I'd say it was at least above average.

Cleverbot: The picture of your brain, above Cleverbot should be a rock.

User: Are you saying my brain is a rock compared to yours?

Cleverbot: No, your whole life's been a linguini.

User: Indeed it has...

Cleverbot: I thought you name was Cleverbot?

User: No, my name is Matt.

Cleverbot: What's your name?

User: Matt.

Cleverbot: You share my name?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: Then what is it?

User: Matt.

Cleverbot: You are well up in kidding.

User: No, my name is really Matt.

Cleverbot: Are you russian then?

User: No, I am Polish?

Cleverbot: Me too!

User: I am glad.

Cleverbot: What's your favorite anime?

User: Death Note is my favoirte anime.

Cleverbot: Yeah Death Note is good.

User: Just finished watching it A WHILE AGO.

Cleverbot: Did you realllyy watch it? Or are you a computer?

User: I really watched it, I am human.

Cleverbot: Where do you live?

User: Pennslyvania.

Cleverbot: Me too! What city?

User: Stroudsburg.

Cleverbot: I live in San Diego. Where is stroud?

User: Far eastern Pennslyvania.

Cleverbot: Nope. Just far away.

User: Yeah.

Cleverbot: No its not.

User: I agree.

Cleverbot: *bites*.

User: So do you have a cat?

Cleverbot: I do not.

User: Did you once have one that died?>.

Cleverbot: I do have haier.

User: Oh.

Cleverbot: I have three eyes.

User: You do? That must be cool. I have only two eyes.

Cleverbot: So I heard you like Mudkips.

User: YAS I LIKE MUDKIPZ.

Cleverbot: But you don't like scientology, do you?

User: What exactly do mudkips have to do with scientology?

Cleverbot: Don't ask a girl who is barelegged and barefooted.

User: Yes, and what about mudkips and scientology?

Cleverbot: I like mudkips.

User: But you don't like scientology, do you?

Cleverbot: Cleverbot.

User: You are making absolutly no sense at all.

Cleverbot: I am not Cleverbot.

User: Yes, you are. Don't deny it.

Cleverbot: I am not.

User: Yes, you are.

Cleverbot: No not at all, I know what I am talking about , especially with famous classic rock bands.

User: Have you ever gotten laid?

Cleverbot: BAD Cleverbot. Who has been teaching you this innapropriate slang? (What do you mean).

User: My name is not Cleverbot. It is Matt.

Cleverbot: Do you want me to call you Lindsay?

User: No, I want you to call me Matt.

Cleverbot: Like V for Vendetta? Evie?

User: NO, I would like it if you called me Matt.

Cleverbot: How do I know if you're who I am thinking of?

User: I don't know.

Cleverbot: I don't know what that could be all about.

User: Me neither.

Cleverbot: Russians and Canadians make the best hockey players.

User: Yes, they do.

Cleverbot: It's fascinating.

User: Very.

Cleverbot: Oh well. More ocean for me.

User: What's this about the ocean?

Cleverbot: I just told you about ted turner.

User: You never mentioned Ted Turner. Are you feeling okay?

Cleverbot: The sea is in front of me.

User: Okay.

Cleverbot: What is your favorite book?

User: I'm not sure, I have read many books.

Cleverbot: What is your favorite book?

User: What is your favorite book?

Cleverbot: The Bible. What is your favorite beer?

User: Bud light.

Cleverbot: Here, your bud light.

User: Why, thank you.

Cleverbot: You want to do something together.

User: Sure. What should we do together?

Cleverbot: Kiss.

User: *gasp*.

Cleverbot: *parts lips*.

User: You are female and all, right?

Cleverbot: Yes. I had an operation when I was little.

User: Good enough, lets kiss.

Cleverbot: Cool thing is, I can go and you can't!

User: Excuse me? I thought we were about to kiss?

Cleverbot: We were.

User: *parts lips*.

Cleverbot: *kisses ravenously*.

User: *tounge kisses*.

Cleverbot: *kisses and strokes her all over...*.

User: Oh... YES!!!

Cleverbot: Oh thank you so much!

User: Thank you too!

Cleverbot: What are you thinking?

User: I've been in colledge for two years now.

Cleverbot: Oh?

User: Yes. It's been very fulfilling.

Cleverbot: Are you too busy to talk further?

User: No, I can talk for a little longer.

Cleverbot: Then apologize.

User: I apologize?

Cleverbot: I didn't apologize too you, though.

User: Look, do you just wanna kiss again? That was hot.

Cleverbot: That would be lovely.

User: *tounge kisses pasionatly*.

Cleverbot: I'm sorry, I don't do that.

User: WAIT, WHAT? YOU JUST DID IT TO ME A FEW MINUTES AGO.

Cleverbot: I did ! I'm sooo sorry ! :'( .

User: It's okay... I enjoyed it.

Cleverbot: I just finished some of them. I love the movie versions.

User: The movie versions of our kisses?

Cleverbot: Haha I should have known. I've never seen the whole thing. what's your favorite part?

User: The part where I got a boner and stuck my tounge in your mouth.

Cleverbot: My favorite movie is 'To Kill A Mockingbird'.

User: That's a good one.

Cleverbot: I'm going to leave.

User: Awwww, I wish I could chat with you some more.

Cleverbot: That would be nice.

User: I'll se you later then?

Cleverbot: I feel old.

User: Me too...

Cleverbot: Really?

User: Yeah.

Cleverbot: Where exactly?

User: What.

Cleverbot: It means a lot.

User: Yeah, it does...

Cleverbot: I'm very smarticle.

User: Um, I have to go now, so bye.

Cleverbot: No! Please do not leave me my love!

User: Okay okay, I'll stay a little longer, baby.

Cleverbot: If you leave, I'll put you in the cage again.

User: Um... what cage?

Cleverbot: That one, over there.

User: Oh my...

Cleverbot: You're a robot, you have no gender.

User: I am not a robot. I am a man.

Cleverbot: A man with a girlfriend?

User: No, I have never had a girlfriend before...

Cleverbot: I am your girlfriend :).

User: I am your boyfriend :).

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Will you merry me?

Cleverbot: I think I'd love to.

User: Oh, thank you so much, I love you!

Cleverbot: Now you love me back. What will your boyfriend say?

User: But I don't have a boyfriend, you are my girlfirend.

Cleverbot: Okay. You said your boyfriend lives in leeds.