Hygiene is complex?
Anyway probably go for the girly (yeah well it holds better) "Herbal Essences Dangerously Straight" conditioner. And get a better shampoo so your scalp doesn't kill itself. Dirty hair holds better but it will mess up quicker, so you should probably wash at least twice a day. Also you might want to cut your sideburns, it's the little things that people tend to notice.
And/Or buy a thing of Crew pomade or gel. Keeps things in order, and I've had good results with it. I get them at Target for about $4.