I sat on one of my family jewels

[Monocle]

My girlfriend tackled me into a wall and I hit my head on something, she was trying to be all cute and crawl on top of me to kiss me after she did that because it hurt like a mofo, but she ended up stepping on both of my testicles. ;-;

[Ad Bot]

[TheScout]

What he means, I think, is that one of his balls slipped under his legs right before he sat down, hurting like a motherforgeter