Author Topic: Child Punishment and your views on it.  (Read 8542 times)

But my parents aren't gay. Explain that one.
My personal hypothesis is that there is no such thing (or, at the very least, very few cases of) a lesbian that was not traumatized by a male during its childhood.

I'm not kidding. I'm not a bible-thumper, nor conservative in any way. This is not an insult.
Every lesbian I've ever met was raped, abused, or otherwised devalued by men during her life.


My reasoning behind this is simple and seeded in evolutionary instinct.

Men can "naturally" be gay because men are programmed to forget things. A gay "defect" just simply turns off attraction towards women, and since the male psych is geared towards "round peg, round hole" it doesn't matter if they couple with another male.

Women, however, are the child bearers (not in the dishes and housework sense, the "they give birth" sense). Their instinct is not to have love, it's to have kids. This way it doesn't really calculate in that a woman would seek another woman, because that does not bring about kids.

Rape and abuse breaks the psych, though. It makes perfect sense that a man abusing a girl can cause something inside the girl to snap and forever deactivate the urge to be with men.


Just to clear things up:
I'm not saying all rape victims are lesbians.
I'm not saying all lesbians are rape victims.
I'm not saying lesbians do not have maternal instinct.
I'm not saying that genetics cannot contribute to lesbians.


I know I'm going to catch a lot of flak with this but I have, for some reason, met and stayed in contact with a lot of gay women. Almost all of them have been raped, all of them have been abused. This is my rationale for it -- take it as you will.

point is valid but non-applicable for the majority of children.
Why not? Many children go to school, watch television, listen to the radio, have friend. They can think, grow, learn, just as everyone else. I agree with you that parents are a large part of a person's life, especially in youth. Trust me, I'm Italian, I believe very strongly in family bonds. But it takes more than just two people to raise that child, and it is more than two people that influence them.

And one also has to consider, you continue to grow after you are 8 or 10 or 15 or even 50 or 80. Millions of people help create just who you are, and you help create who they become. Everyone influences each other, even if they don't realise it. One of the many beauties of this fine world.  c:

Why not? Many children go to school, watch television, listen to the radio, have friend. They can think, grow, learn, just as everyone else. I agree with you that parents are a large part of a person's life, especially in youth. Trust me, I'm Italian, I believe very strongly in family bonds. But it takes more than just two people to raise that child, and it is more than two people that influence them.

And one also has to consider, you continue to grow after you are 8 or 10 or 15 or even 50 or 80. Millions of people help create just who you are, and you help create who they become. Everyone influences each other, even if they don't realise it. One of the many beauties of this fine world.  c:
It's true that peer pressure can cause a kid to break away from their parents. However, not everyone has submitted to a cult mentality and done something ridiculous because of it.

I believe that, as far as peer pressure goes, a kid is more likely to act out under the influence of friends if their bonds with their parents are inadequate.


Interesting theory.
But it doesn't really apply to me. I guess I'm just weird that way.

Interesting theory.
But it doesn't really apply to me. I guess I'm just weird that way.
Well, there's always the slightly-more-insulting "biloveual for attention" theory.

 :cookieMonster:

It's true that peer pressure can cause a kid to break away from their parents. However, not everyone has submitted to a cult mentality and done something ridiculous because of it.

I believe that, as far as peer pressure goes, a kid is more likely to act out under the influence of friends if their bonds with their parents are inadequate.
Why just peer pressure? Why not acceptance or open mindness? Children can think, they can process, they can be inspired. Another great feature of this world. There aren't many clones.

But as far as your point goes, many children do have a lacking bond with their parents for a large section if not their entire lives. A great shame more parents and children can't get along. But then how can one expect that if so many parents can't even get along with each other? :c

Well, there's always the slightly-more-insulting "biloveual for attention" theory.

 :cookieMonster:
I hope that cookie monster is an indication of sarcasm.

I hope that cookie monster is an indication of sarcasm.
sowwy

I was never beaten as a young child, and I was never severely punished.
I was given a smack on the bum when I misbehaved, and I didn't like it.
I was only ever given it a few times, and not for ordinary misbehaviour. I had to have done something that I should have known not to do.
I never disliked my parents for punishing me, I just disliked being punished.
Since I disliked being punished, slightly because I didn't want a smack on the bum, and also because I have a fear of confrontation, I actively try not to do naughty things.
Of course every now and then, the childness of myself gets through and I do something I shouldn't have, or I get moody and angry and rotten, but I don't go hanging off the walls, starting fights and breaking the law.

I have had a very good pair of parents, and my grandparents have always been at hand to help, and I've always been taught right from wrong.
I know that I don't do wrong, or atleast majorly wrong (Everyone's naughty occasionally), and I credit that to having been given reasons not to do wrong (smacked bum) and being taught what was right and wrong.

Also be aware that a smacked bum didn't mean I  was belted or properly walloped. It was a... light slap.
It's hard to explain. It wasn't nice, but it wasn't harmful. And it was done through fabric.

I personally find that the idea of inflicting physical punishment on a child is a fair enough thing to do.
I don't however, agree with people who simply just use physical punishment and expect it to be a detterance.
I don't agree with people who are then abusive with physical punishment.
There is a very fine line between an uncomfortable smack on the bum and properly smacking your child in a way that's going to greatly hurt them, bruise them even, and make them fear you and punishment more than regretting what they did.

It's all very odd, according to my friends, the way I view this subject.
I actively see people who misbehave, cause havok and endanger other people in school and on the streets, who I believe simply needed a thorough parenting and a smack on the bum as a child.
I believe that schools would have an easier time on their hands if they were able to hit unruly children.

Of course it would need to be monitored, so you don't get abusive teachers who hit everyone all the time, even the child who was simply speaking out of turn once.
But, if done right, and it's mildly used, I'm sure it would be an active deterrance to the children in school who actively rebel, cause fights with other students and staff, consistently interupt other childrens education, and who also rile up other children to be as bad as them. They're a bad influence, and if you influence them in a way that stops them from wanting to be punished, such as not doing anything to warrant punishment, I'm sure you'll see a turn around in schools these days.

It was on BBC's Panorama last night about schools that have had military concepts brought into the schools to teach the children manners, and to prevent them from being so horrible.
These schools that have a military concept to them have almost no trouble with students at all.
And these are still in schools that can't hit a child. They just use so much authority, as well as giving the children a place of well belonging, in a military influenced life.

Anyway, that's my opinion, or what I can currently think of on child punishment.
With a good lifestyle, it goes a long way to bring up proper children.
If done wrong, it's terrible and ineffective.
Schools ought to be able to moderatley, and in a monitored format, be allowed to inflict punishment on the unruliest of students as a deterrance.
Children simply need a controlling, comfortable and guiding life-style, and sometimes a deterrance from doing the stupidly wrong.
There is nothing wrong with being a child and doing something slightly naughty, but if it's a really bad sort of thing that shouldn't be done at all, then it deserves some form of punishment to deter.

I didn't really read the rest of the topic, I just answered OP's request.

Corporal punishment is legal in schools in some states.

My view on child punishment is something that has a mental effect not a physical one.

I find it odd that most here are against spankings.

I find it odd that most here are against spankings.
Whoopin's are for silly people. Its stupid to hit your child if it only inflicts physical damage. Smart parents will give them an idea of what they did wrong by talking to them about what they did. Trust me, children do not like being talked to about what they did wrong.

My view on child punishment is something that has a mental effect not a physical one.
"Jimmy, you know its wrong to lie to mommy and daddy. Now, get in the chair and I'll start dripping the water. That'll learn ya'"

You can't say physical punishment is right or wrong for everyone, it depends on the person. Iban, you seem to be the person that shouldn't have received it. But others such as my dad and his brothers have turned out to be very successful and social people after receiving their healthy dosage of it.

Some considerations to take on the issue are if the child is secure or not when punished. The problem with not using physical punishment is that not all children are logical yet, and they can be very selfish until that thing in their brain clicks.

I think physical punishment is ok, as long as the child has a secure family life. Also, if they are spanked at a younger age, sometime before they go into school, being spanked probably won't have such a traumatizing effect on them. Keep in mind when I say spanking, I'm talking about it being very limited.